One Trick Pony Rides Away

So we have another Supreme Court nominee. His name is Samuel Alito, and he is as American as apple pie, and the death penalty. Conservatives love him, liberals are ready to fight tooth and nail against him, and it's business as usual in that most screwed up of cities, Washington, DC. Minorities are pissed because the guy is as white as I am...well, ok, no one is as white as I am except maybe the Winter brothers, but I digress. The guy has been a judge on the 3rd U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals since 1990, and is reportedly quiet, polite, and even tempered. Not too bad. But then THE ISSUE pops up, and the polarization occurs. He's not a big fan of abortion. [GASP!!] What did people expect from a republican president, the baby eating bishop of Bath and Wales?(rent Black Adder II if you don't get that joke) It seems to me that there are only two issues that get discussed whenever someone is up for appointment/election/selection/cannonization or whatever: abortion and gay marriage. While these are, indeed, important issues, are they really the most important issues facing the nation right now? I am certainly not trying to trivialize these issues, but there is such a complex melange of legislative and political issues facing any high-ranking member of any branch of the government that to distill their effectiveness down to how they feel about two relatively narrow issues is ridiculous.

Roe V. Wade is a done deal, and I really doubt the Supreme Court is going to change it any time soon. Besides, what politician in his right mind wants the issue decided for good? That would be like Columbia lobbying to legalize marijuana. Abortion is not going away, and one justice either way isn't going to change that. And if it gets a bit harder to get one, is that really such a bad thing? I am not big on abortion, but then again I'm a man, and not really qualified to have an opinion on it, but that's never stopped me before. I have no problem with underage girls being required to inform at least one parent, unless of course the parent is the father. And I do think that abortions are legal wayyy too far into the pregnancy, and there is nothing wrong with requiring some form of pre-procedure counseling. But that's where I get out of the debate. I have never had to make the decision, nor can I imagine how difficult it must be for some to take that step. There are some who use it as birth control, and that I object to strongly, but I don't agree with legislating against it, either. It's all about choice. If there is a God, and abortion is a sin, well that will be between the person and The Creator, and it's none of my business.

Gay marriage affects an even smaller percentage of the population, and has absolutely no societal effect beyond allowing a group of people to experience the joys of divorce along with the rest of us. I think it is much more important to find out how a Supreme Court nominee feels about amending the Constitution, or states' rights, or what to do if an election gets so screwed up that no one can tell who won. How do they feel about immigration, both legal and ill, or things like the drinking age, or the draft. The Supreme Court is all about giving the people a final place to be heard, and I want to know how open the ears are on those who sit on that bench. I don't know if this Alito guy will do a good job, although my initial reaction is yes, but I do know that I couldn't care less how he feels about abortion or gay marriage...unless a case arises when these will matter, and then I would hope he'd be as impartial as possible.

Let the political blood-bath continue.

Marius

When Harriet Met Shrubby

Harriet Miers, legal council to George W. Bush for more than a decade, and now former Supreme Court nominee has withdrawn from consideration for the court. I had predicted that her confirmation hearing would be brutal, but I never imagined that the lead pirahnas would be Republicans! The extreme-right wing of the GOP tore into that poor woman like a tiger on an effeminate magician, coming to the conclusion that while she is conservative, she just isn't conservative enough. I mean the woman seems to think that Roe v. Wade wasn't the work of Satan on Earth! Imagine that! Actually, trying to find evidence that Miers has had any opinions about anything is kinda like trying to find an overweight European man on a Florida beach who isn't wearing a Speedo. In fact, the only thing I heard about her, other than lamenting the lack of anything to say, was that she is a good bowler. Wow, by that reasoning I'd have a pretty good shot at the bench myself. But that's not what I want to talk about today. Join me in the next paragraph, will you?

The collapse of the Miers nomination is the latest falling Ace in Shrub's eroding house of cards, and I think it's indicative not only of Bush's incompetence, but of his advisors' legal troubles. Something I saw after 9/11 was that, with the exception of the Three Horsemen of the Apocolypse(Cheney, Rumsfeld, Ashcroft), W surrounded himself with very smart, if mostly evil, people. They sat on him when I'm sure he wanted to send a squadron of B-52's to Afghanistan. They held him back and made him wait long enough to lend some verisimilitude to the lie that Saddam had WMD. They even got him to nominate John Roberts to the Supreme Court. But now most of them are putting together legal defense teams, and don't have time to tell Gilligan not to eat the coconut cream pie. I have no doubt that the day he announced Miers' nomination there was a chorus of 'He did WHAT?!' all over Washington. And the real loser here is Ms. Miers. She didn't want the job, and maybe she torpedoed it herself, but having your liver eaten by the eagles you work for in front of the nation can't feel good. And now W has to start all over again. Who next? Pedro, his gardener because he's Mexican? Bob, his barber, cause he tells the best stories? The freaking dog?! We should all hope that they get the leash back on Georgie again fast before he decides he really is the president, and by God he'll do some presiding. Then we're all screwed.

In my ever so humble opinion, of course. ;-)
Marius

Wilma Update

I almost feel guilty talking about our Wilma experience, but since some of you might think we were in the danger zone let me assure you we got some gusty winds, a steady drizzle, and the day off, that's it. Now folks in Naples and West Palm Beach got slammed. Everyone I talked to down there yesterday was without power, and thankfully with relatively minor to no damage. The worst thing I heard was that Celebhith's screen porch, which covered her pool and was at least 20 feet tall, was destroyed. But, and this is strictly the male perspective, her gas grill was undamaged. (Whew!) Targon had some window leakage, and my folks lost a bit of the fence around the front yard. Mayi dodged a couple of diasters as a neighbor's tree came down and merely touched her roof with an outstretched, but undamaging branch, and another tree came down in her driveway, where her car normally sits but was moved into the garage for the storm. I have yet to hear from Thummy or Rico, but I hope that they are ok, especially Rico. They are trying to sell their house and get out of Lake Worth, so it would really, really suck if the storm did any appreciable damage now. Thummy lives only an hour South of us, so I imagine(read: pray) that they only got it a little worse than we did. Adam and Bi, who live just a few miles north of ground zero, are without power and got some superficial damage to their house. Overall, given the unanticipated severity of the storm the damage was light, at least to the people I know and love. And to any of you reading this, if you need an extra hand to help repair just holler.

Marius

Wilma, I'm Home!

Lest you start worrying about the hurricane readiness of The Corner, fret not. We shall just be catching the outer rain bands of Wilma, so it will be a damp, probably noisy evening, but we should be quite safe here. We are also on the second floor, so flooding isn't a concern. So with any luck, and strong power lines, I shall let you all know how we fared tomorrow. For now rest well, and dream of large women.
Marius

Something I've Learned, and a Cool Link

Welcome to The Corner,
In one of those Dickensian conundrums, one of my favorite parts of being a teacher is also one of the most painful/difficult parts. As a theatre teacher my relationship with my students is often different from, say, a math or science teacher. I don't just see them a couple of times a week for an hour or so, and have no real interaction with them. We work together to create art. We party together after shows, we work late hours and early mornings together, so my students often become my friends. And as their friend I am naturally inclined to try to protect them and shield them from the harshness of life. One of my LC students, in particular, is going through a rough time right now, and I want so very badly to just make all her pain go away. But then I have to think about what I would be like if I hadn't gone through that adolescent crucible myself...what if someone had come to me and said, 'Don't fall for that one, she'll break your heart.' Or, 'Don't try that, you'll regret it.' Yeah, a lot of my teens and early twenties sucked, so did a lot of my thirties, but it was how I dealt with those ordeals that made me stronger, and more resiliant, so that when real trials came later I was better able to cope. So all I can do is hold their hands, give them an ear to rail to, and an understanding that comes from having been there myself. I just hope it's enough.

If you have digital cable you have probably seen G4TechTV. It is the channel devoted to all things computer, from PC help shows, to video game reviews. (I especially like the show X-Play, which is a sort of Siskel and Ebert for video games. The two hosts are Adam Sessler; a goofy twenty-something fanboy everyman, and Morgan Webb; that rarest of creatures: a gorgeous videogamer, and my current celebrity crush) On a program called Attack of the Show last week I saw an interview with an attractive young lady who is the anchor for Rocketboom, a semi-daily video log, or vlog. She caught my eye, so I checked the site out, and it's a lot of fun. Mostly it consists of a brief newscast, but as often as not they have video segments from other sources, and links to everything they show or talk about. Today's edition is a music video that will get into your head even worse than the Crazy Frog bit, but it's a lot of fun. Check it out at:

http://www.rocketboom.com/vlog/

And you can check out G4 at:

http://www.g4tv.com/


See ya!
Marius

Loud Bass Music Shrivels Male Members

Ok, here's my plan. Someone of you devoted visitors to my humble little sector of cyber-space must have the digital know-how to make a story look like it came from a legitimate source. With all the ridiculous 'facts' making the rounds on the internet how hard would it be to report on a scientific study proving that high decibel, low frequency sound waves lead to penile shrinkage and impotence. Since all these car-booming, living room shaking, inconsiderate dolts don't seem to care about inner ear damage, maybe a percieved threat to the mighty sword might get these pinheads to turn thier fucking stereos down!!! I like good, loud music as much as the next aging metal head, but when I can hear the apartment two buildings away over my own stereo it's time to get a reality check.

So, any takers?

Marius the Peeved

Let's Purge the Lexicon: Part II

Here are some more linguistic abuses I'd like to see excised from my life.

Alumni There is nothing wrong with this word in and of itself, but let's get something straight people...IT'S PLURAL!!! If I hear one more supposedly educated person proclaim proudly, 'I am an alumni of that school.' I'm going to scream. A single person, depending on their gender, is either an alumnus, or an alumna, or a member of the alumni, but unless your name is Sybil you alone are not an alumni.

Irregardless This is not a word in the English language. Irrespective, which is the word most people mean to use when they use irregardless, is a real word. Regardless is a real word. Irregardless is not. Both real words mean without regard for, or in spite of. Irregardless means you slept through most of your English classes.

I know these are rather tiny nits to pick, but it seems to me that the English language is under almost daily attack from pop culture, internet abbreviation, and the general 'dumbing down' of America that I see where ever I look. This country used to venerate the great minds, the Einsteins,the Hawkings, the Kissingers, because they inspired us to emulate them. We strove for enlightenment and knowledge. Today we venerate people with names like Simpson, Carrey, and Bush because they make us feel smarter. As an educator I try my best to promote good grammar, even though it technically isn't part of what I teach, but when I heard a colleague use the word irregardless the other day while addressing a bunch of students it gave me pause. I have seen papers turned in by college freshmen that would make a 6th grade teacher cringe, but I don't blame the internet, or television, or movies. I blame parents. My mother worked two jobs for many years when it was just my brother, she, and me, but she still found the time to work with us at home with flash cards on our vocabulary skills. My brother and I read way beyond our grade levels almost from kindergarten. And I never once heard the phrase, 'Me and my friend' come out of her mouth. Parents need to take an active role in their children's education. Teachers are overworked, underpaid, and underappreciated and they need all the help they can get to make kids understand that what they hear on MTV, or the latest Adam Sandler epic isn't necessarily the correct way to speak. Know what I'm sayin', beeyotch?

Peace out,
Marius

In Local News

Today's post is just to bring folks up to speed on what's going on here in that wacky wonderland called Tampa. First of all, my lovely wife has a new job. A few weeks ago her bosses, who shall henceforth be known affectionately as The Stooges, told her on a Wednesday that the upcoming Friday would be her last day at the paint store. Aside from management bungling that would seem unbelievable on a Brady Bunch episode, the store is located in a small, out of the way strip mall behind a real mall, surrounded by tea shops and a grocery store. And they are puzzled by the lack of contractors walking in and ordering kilotons of paint. So, miraculously, they couldn't afford to keep Muriel on the payroll. We were, of course, bummed, but hardly surprised. Then, the next day the guy they were keeping quit. So the first thing The Stooges do is ask Muriel to stay. She had already put in a few applications elsewhere, and while we would have dearly loved to tell them just where to stick it, nothing else had come through yet so she agreed, with the proviso that if anything better came along she would take it. They said they understood. The following Monday we got a call from a store in the mall to which she had applied. They sell somewhat risque items of apparel while purporting to be based in Hollywood. My lady wife is a costume designer, so this gig suits her much better then slinging flat latex, and the freebies are much more fun.

On the automotive front, The Hyperion, my car, is in a coma. She needs a fairly expensive transplant, but a donor has been found, muchas gracias hermana. Te quiero mucho. So hopefully she'll be mobile soon.

In reproductive news, we have decided to cease all activities designed to prevent a blessed event from occurring. I have been finding excuse after excuse to not have a young'n, but I realized the other day that there would always be reasons why 'now' would be a bad time. Also, while my little fishies don't have an expiration date, the rest of me ain't getting any younger, and kids are like little life-force vampires, so if I'm to survive an infant it'd best be soon. Of course, the little lady has been walking on sunshine, ooh ooh, ever since we made this decision. And yes, Mom, if it happens you'll hear about it before it shows up in a blog entry.

And that's all from Tampa. It looks like Wilma will be paying a visit sometime this weekend, but hopefully we'll just be getting the outskirts of it. I will let y'all know if anything more dire than a wet day is impending.

Ok, that's all for now. Take care, be safe, and if you can't be good, at least be good at it. ;-)

Marius

ps

Best Goldfish Joke Ever!

Two goldfish were in their tank.
One turns to the other and says,
"You man the guns, I'll drive."

New Orleans Beating

Somehow I don't think there is going to be a run on New Orleans Police Department tee shirts any time real soon. I just watched the tape of New Orleans business owner Robert Davis getting the living shit beat out of him by three NOPD cops, and this time it seems pretty clear that the police were wayyyyy out of line. (http://www.cnn.com/2005/LAW/10/12/taped.beatings/index.html) Now I'll be the first to admit that all too often video of a police beating can be misleading. The Rodney King video that we all saw over, and over often left out the part where he was tazered three times and kept resisting. I know a guy whose career as a local South Florida cop was ruined by a misleading video and a spineless departmental administration, but in the New Orleans case I don't think there is any doubt that the three officers went too far. They claim that the 'perp' was resisting arrest, and visibly intoxicated. Davis claims that he hasn't had a drink in 25 years. The video shows Davis, calmly facing a wall, apparently obeying the commands of the officers. Then something quite disturbing happens. Another officer, on horseback, purposely interposes his horse between the arresting officers and the camera...twice. When the camera operator finally gets a clear shot the cops are beating the man senseless. I can't say what happened while the horse was blocking the view, but unless the 64 year old Davis pulled out a pair of nunchakus I can't imagine he did anything warranting such a beating. Once Davis is cuffed and bleeding on the ground another officer attacks a reporter, shoving him up against a car and cursing at him.

This incident is being classified as 'a few bad apples' by New Orleans officials, but I see it as something more insidious. The flood waters of Katrina have uncovered much more than mud and ruined houses. They washed away the scab that covered a corrupt and festering police department that seems, in my opinion of course, to be used to doing whatever it wanted with impunity. We have heard stories of police brutality, desertion, looting, misappropriation of relief supplies, and greed that go far deeper than simple stress-based misbehavior. I lived in Louisiana for three years, and I saw first hand the levels of corruption and unabashed public abuse that exist there.{there was actually an ad campaign for a local car dealership that essentially said 'come buy from us, we won't screw you anymore'} The NOPD doesn't seem to understand the their cover has been blown, and they are expected to act like real public servants, and not as warlords and thugs. If anything good is to come from this unfortunate incident, let's hope that it inspires the department to get rid of its bad apples, and to start protecting and serving the public like it's supposed to.

Marius

Babbling Brook of Semi-Consciousness

Do you ever feel like a ghost, walking the Earth but having no real effect on things? I feel that way now, a feather in the wind, a ping-pong ball in a tumble dryer. A flesh and blood ghost, but without all the cool ghost stuff like walking through walls and being invulnerable and such. I can't even scare people, well not without getting naked in public. I exist at the whim of dead cars, and capricious scheduling, and people who have no idea how a theatre program works, and students who feel that they are entitled to degrees without actually acomplishing anything. Right now my glass is half empty, and I don't even like the drink that's 50% gone.

Bitch
Bitch
Bitch


I know.

I'll be more interesting tomorrow, I promise.

Marius the Bummer

Happy Rapacious Villain Day

Good morning, Gentle Readers. I was going to devote todays entry to a harrangue against the pretender we have venerated as the dicoverer of the America. I refer to that greedy bastard Christopher Columbus. You know, the guy who never actually set foot on the North American continent, but was instrumental in starting a process that resulted in the genocidal destruction of more than one indiginous peoples. And don't start with that 'if it wasn't for him, you wouldn't be here today' bullshit. Is there any one of us who is so important that the the natives of two continents had to be slaughtered and enslaved for centuries? Besides, Leif Erikkson, a viking explorer, discovered the actual North American continent 500 years before Columbus. The Vikings attempted to set up a permanent colony somewhere between Newfoundland and Cape Cod, but friction with the locals eventually caused them to abandon the post. (see, not all Vikings were conquerers)

I say I was going to harrangue, but in one of those cooincidences that just might get me believing in a higher power again I checked out Breakfast Of Champions, by Kurt Vonnegut, this weekend, and lo on page 10 is the following excerpt:

"...Teachers of children in the United States of America wrote this date on blackboards again and again, and asked the children to memorize it with pride and joy:
1492

The teachers told the children that this was when their continent was discovered by human beings. Actually, millions of human beings were already living full and imaginative lives on the continent in 1492. That was simply the year in which sea pirates began to cheat and rob and kill them. Here is another piece of evil nonsense which children were taught: that the sea pirates eventually created a government which became a beacon of freedom to human beings everywhere else."

These words were published in 1973, about the same time I was being taught that Columbus was a brave explorer who dared to think that world was round. This also is pure bullshit. The spherical nature of the planet was well accepted by the 1400's, in fact the Greek mathemetician Eratosthenes calculated the circumference of the Earth sometime between 276 BC and 194 BC. So there was no great bravery in Columbus' venture; no 'we will risk falling off the edge of the world for our Queen' crap. He was looking for gold. Nothing more, nothing less. And if a few savages had to die in the process, well they eat their own babies, don't they?

Many contend that since the indigenous peoples of the Americas tended to practice human sacrifice they needed killin'. In 1492 the Inquisition had been around for nearly 20 years, and Europeans had refined the killing, maiming, and torturing of each other to a fine art. So I don't buy that Europe was 'civilizing' the savages.

Another distinction is that in Europe the battles were usually between relatively evenly matched adversaries. Each side had roughly the same level of blood letting technology. Not so when they came to the Americas. Here is another quote from Breakfast of Champions:
"Here is how the pirates were able to take whatever they wanted from anybody else: they had the best boats in the world, and they were meaner than anybody else, and they had gunpowder...They touched this seemingly listless powder with fire, and it turned violently into gas. This gas blew projectiles out of metal tubes at terrific velocities. The projectiles cut through meat and bone very easily, so the pirates could wreck the wiring, or the bellows, or the plumbing of a stubborn human being even when he was far, far away.
The chief weapon of the sea pirates, however, was their capacity to astonish. Nobody else could believe, until it was much too late, how heartless and greedy they were."

So happy Columbus day, everyone.

Marius the Disgusted

Great Innovations in Science

Let us discuss the esthetic qualities of the canine scrotum. You go first............................Anyone? No? Well then let us turn to Gregg Miller of Oak Grove, Missouri, IgNoble prize winner and inventor of Neuticles...artificial testicles for dogs. "Neuticles allow your pet to retain his natural look, self esteem and aids in the trauma associated with neutering. With Neuticles -- It's like nothing ever changed!" according to Miller's Web site at http://www.neuticles.com. I know that whenever I see a dog walking away from me my first thought is 'where are that dog's nuts?' The scary part of this story is not that Miller went deep into debt to come up with this earth-shatteringly pointless invention, but that people are buying these things in droves! Here's another quote from his website: 'To date over 100,000 pets Worldwide have been neutered with Neuticles by over 9,000 veterinarians...' Most of the vets quoted state that if it gets folks to neuter their dogs then they are all for it.

Are there really folks out there who won't neuter a dog because they want to see their pet's nutsack intact? And since when is self-esteem an issue for dogs? I'm as quick to anthropomorphise my pets as the next man, but I have never, ever in my life known a dog to give a rat's ass about whether is sack was empty or not. He'll lick it in front of whomever, whenever regardless of it's contents. With all the problems there are in the world do we really need artificial dog testicles, which by the way, come in three different sizes and
firmnesses?
The best part of this story is his explanation of why:

"We feel the removal of a God given body part - leaving a male pet looking unwhole after the traditional form of neutering is not only unethical but unnatural. With Neuticles it's like nothing ever changed."

It's nice to see that in a world afflicted with war, famine, pestilence, and a Back Street Boys reunion that someone is devoting the needed funds and time to vital projects such as this. Now if only someone would invent an artificial brain for our president.


Marius

Assistance Requested

Ok, it seems that I have some strong support in my endeavors to start writing seriously. My biggest problem is that I have trouble coming up with stories. Characters, locations, and descriptions are no problem, but situations elude me. So, if you all will suggest some scenarios, I'll see what I can do with them. And I have a big idea, but I want to let it simmer for a bit before I reveal it. So, if you would please help this might be fun.

Love ya's,
Marius

For Mom

Ok, when we were kids I remember that it usually took spurting arterial blood, exposed bone, or sucking chest wounds before you would give us a band-aid(tm). I have harbored that memory for the better part of half a century.(Jesus! Am I really that old?) Anyway, tonight I had to listen to the wailings of a child who wants for nothing, save a constant diet of hot dogs, pizza, and yoo-hoo, because she itches on her back, and has a nearly microscopic cut on her finger. I don't think Dr. Calligari heard such expressions of misery in his dungeons. I would just like to say publicly, and for posterity, I'm sorry. You have been wronged many times over in my memories, and now that I am dealing with a child who may, or may not be quite as demonic as I was the karmic wheel has come full circle. And I can finally say, for the first time, I think I'm beginning to understand you.

Go ahead, gloat and get it over with.

Love ya,
Marius

So Long and Thanks for all the Intimidation

I am currently reading, well, let's be honest, listening to Douglas Adams' last book The Salmon of Doubt. It is a collection of prefaces, introductions, newspaper columns, and various other random musings that were left in the depths of his hard drive after his far too early death in 2001. I am only 1/6th of the way into the book, and am enjoying it immensely, albeit with a huge side order of melancholy. It fascinates me that his more conversational pieces sounds exactly like the Hitchiker's Guide to the Galaxy. No, not the series, the actualy entries in the guide. It seems rather strange, yet also totally apt that the truest representations of his thought and speech patterns come from relative non sequiters. There is, however, one small problem. Listening to Adams' words can be incredibly inspirational to a guy like me who fancies himself as someone quite capable of writing a book someday, if he can only come up with the right story to tell. I hear the clever, Adamsian cadences and bizarre juxtapositions and I think, 'my god, I can do that too!' But then, the eponymous fish wriggles its way into my consciousness and whispers, 'but not as well.' This is a struggle I have faced all my life. I have little tolerance for bad literature, and have long since abandoned my youthful vow that a book begun is a book finished. Nowadays if I'm not enjoying a book, I stop reading it. The upside of this is that I tend only to read what I consider to be exceptional writing. The downside of that is that it often leaves me feeling like a Little League pitcher practicing with Sammy Sosa.

I don't really know if there is a real point to this, merely an observation, put out there so that I can't allow it to slip quietly and ignored into the tar-pits of my subconscious. Maybe if I can wrestle this particular demon into submission, I might just get that damned book started. And hopefully an unwritten book started, will be an unwritten book...written.

Marius

El Diablo Me Tiene

A few weeks ago I mentioned playing Diablo II on line with some friends. That has gone quite well, and our Tuesday night virtual gathering is a highlight of my week, but there is an evil downside to this. The great wizard Rico Sanchez warned me that this 'time sucking click-fest' would insinuate itself into my psyche, demanding more and more of my time and attention till all I could think about was the game. Pshaw, thought I. I'm the one who's immune to the lure of video games. I have tried many times to get into gaming. I even had the original Diablo back in 2000, and while I played it nightly for about a week, it soon wore thin and I forgot about it. My wife bought a Play Station II last year, and while we have a bunch of games for it, most require such feats of manual/mental dexterity that I quickly get frustrated and storm off in search of Mythbusters reruns. I have enough trouble keeping the right and left buttons on my mouse straight, never mind having to press square, square, square, triangle, X, X, and stand on my head with my right toe in my left ear to make the ninja on the screen do a flying somersault. I'll take Scrabble any day.

But then came Diablo II.

After our first group game, in which I died twice and often held the group up while looking for them, I decided to practice a bit. I created a disposable barbarian and went zombie hunting. The controls are simple, and the game play is difficult enough to be interesting, but not so hard that you die every five minutes. Before I knew it hours had passed, and the first two fingers on my right hand were killing me. Then Targon asked if we could play just he and I, which we did and I made a different character for that game. Then I decided to see what I could do with a sorceress. She's at 14th level now. Now I'm playing a necromancer who has the creepy, but very useful ability to reanimate the creatures he kills and force them to fight for him. It's wierdly satisfying to go up to the bloody corpse of some beastie that just nearly did you in and make it your bitch.

Then yesterday something happened that made me realize that Rico's prediction had come true. After playing some in the morning before work, I went down to my car, put the key in the ignition, turned it, and heard that dismaying sound of a car that just won't start. The starter moter was turning, the battery was strong, just no ignition. At first there was panic...my car is a decade old with nearly 150,000 miles on her, so any illness could be terminal. Then I paused, took a deep breath, and pondered the least dire possible cause. If she had crappy gas, and was just a bit stopped up, perhaps she would be ok if I let her sit for about an hour. Now here's the disturbing part: my first thought after that was not who to call at work, or whether I should call the wife to prepare her for the possibility to taking me to work and living with only one car for a while, no. My first thought was that I could PLAY THE GAME FOR ANOTHER HOUR!!

help me.

Agamemnon the Barbarian
Maenad the Sorceress
Sphigmoid the Necromancer

and somewhere in the crowd,
Marius

Oh, yeah, the car. It was crappy gas. I hadn't started her at all Sunday, and she was a bit clogged. Stay away from Sunoco gas if you can.

New Supreme Court Nominee

Well, I don't know why I'm surprised. Dubya put a guy in charge of FEMA whose greatest prior achievement was heading an equine organization, so Harriet Miers is actually an improvement: at least she's a lawyer. But she's never been a judge. I haven't had a chance to research whether other justices cut their judicial teeth once on the Supreme Court, so if you know feel free to comment. I have found out, with just a cursory glance at Ms. Miers' record though, that she is deep, deep in Shrub's pocket. She's been on his payroll since his days as governor of Texas. Republicans quickly pointed out that there is ample precedent for presidents appointing justices who once worked for them, Nixon and Kennedy for example, so I honestly don't know what to make of all this yet. I suppose we'll all find out once the confirmation hearings begin, but I will predict this much. The pleasant, almost polite questioning we saw in the Roberts hearings will give way to the almost gladiatorial battles we are more accustomed to hearing from Capitol Hill. It's just a gut feeling, but this is going to be a political blood bath, and if Ms. Miers survives it then she just might be a good justice. We'll soon see.

Marius

Oink

Ok, I'm a pig, but this is funny.

http://archive.gamespy.com/comics/dorktower/

I Wanna Be The Minority

Howdy folks. I planned to devote this entry to the Tom Delay indictment, but after trying to research it, I find I would much rather cut my own head off with a rusty bandsaw blade. This indictment is so weak that even Bill Clinton could have shrugged it off. This will be, unfortunately, merely a hiccup in the career of evil that is our House Majority Leader. So let us move on to more pressing issues.

Just in case you were concerned that the airline industry isn't doing enough to keep flights safe after 9/11, I give you this little tidbit. Three flight attendant unions are calling for a boycott of Jodie Foster's new movie Flightplan because: spoiler alert! spoiler alert! spoiler alert! spoiler alert!

the flight attendant is the bad guy. GASP!!!!!!! Apparently it is now unthinkable for a movie to portray anyone, from any race, creed, gender, or occupation as a villain without some support group screaming about it. I guess all movie villains must be alien robots who have absolutely no agenda, and can only kill big tobacco executives and rabid pitbulls. Give me a fucking break!!

Are the flight attendant unions so unoccupied with the real problems of an industry that is going down faster than Alanis Morrisette in a movie theatre that they have time to worry about a film? Movies are fiction, and not usually very good fiction at that. If I ran into Elijah Wood at a restaurant tomorrow I would neither expect him to be three feet tall, nor would I wonder how he grew his arms and legs back. That's because he's an actor, not a Hobbit or cannibalistic serial killer. I don't hate all robots because of The Terminator, nor do I run screaming and lock myself in my car every time I see a St. Bernard. These are works of fiction, and I am so sick of special interest groups caterwauling every time one of their own is portrayed as the villain. I'm a bald, white guy, but I don't raise a stink every time Vin Diesel releases one of his cinematic stink-bombs.

The US is the melting pot of the world. The word 'minority' is rapidly losing its meaning here, the same with the word 'majority'. Once you get a few miles away from the frightening, creamy white, inbred center of this great nation you find a level of cultural diversity that makes the UN look like a KKK meeting. It has become something of a status symbol to be part of a minority now. But you can't get minority status just by asking for it. There are still large minority populations in the US who are set aside by their country of birth, or the color of their skin, or the shape of their eyes, and these people are genuinely oppressed and discriminated against. People who choose to go into one career or another don't get to jump on that bandwagon. Flight attendants are the same as you and me. You didn't hear the pilots' unions yelling that not all their pilots are child molesters after Airplane came out. They got the joke. So flight attendants let me say this. I respect what you do, and I know you get more shit then you deserve from crass, drunken assholes who you can't ask to leave at 35,000 feet, but that's where it ends. You are as valid a target for fiction as anyone else in the world. Now give me my fucking peanuts!
Love ya, mean it. :-)
Marius

Smile and Say Architeuthis

Oh frabjous day! Calloo, callay! He chortled in his joy.

The jabberwock has been captured on film, finally. Man has known about the giant squid for centuries. It is quite possibly the inspiration for such mythical beasties as the Kraken and Leviathan, but except for the bloated corpses of dead squid that either washed ashore, or were snagged in fishing nets, no one has ever seen, let alone photographed a living giant squid. Until now, that is. Japanese researcher Dr Tsunemi Kubodera caught video footage of a 26', that's small in giant squid terms, young squid in 3000' of water off the coast of the Bonin Islands. They used a remote camera that had a line with bait trailing behind it. The squid attacked the bait, allowing for several very clear shots. You can see the pics here:

http://www.cnn.com/2005/WORLD/asiapcf/09/27/japan.squid.ap/index.html

That is all. We now return you to your regularly scheduled, squid-free day.

Marius

Republican Theatre

Who says the Republicans don't support the arts? In the last couple of months we have seen a three act play, staged like a Greek comedy, enacted by two of the most powerful men in the country, and one jester. Pray attend whilst I encapsulize.

Act I: The place-Capitol Hill. The scene-The Floor of Congress. Dramatis Personae: Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist, A Chorus of Senators.

In a stunning move of bravery, selflessness, and pointless combativeness, the Senate Majority leader steps forth to valiently soliloquize that embryonic stem-cell research is, indeed, something that should be pursued. 'Tis a mighty stand, carefully planned to give the illusion of dissention, yet carrying no real political consequence. After a brief, and somewhat lack-luster performance, the chorus harrumphs a bit then breaks for lunch.

Act II, Sc. I: The place-Somewhere in Louisiana. The Scene-an 'impromptu' press conference. Dramatis Personae: Pres. Bush, Michael Brown, Numerous sycophants and toadies, The Press.

Mr. Bush almost emotes as he praises 'Brownie' for doing a 'heck of a job'. Brown looks quite convincing in his embarassment, though soon the oracle prophesies his coming doom.


Act II, Sc. II: The Place-Washington DC. The scene-Another press conference. Dramatis Personae: President Bush.

The Presidents speaks words the world has never heard pass his lips--I take full responsibility. An angry country scratches its collective heads.

Act II, Sc. III: The Place: The Blasted Heath, The scene: Yet another press conference. Dramatis Personae: Michael Chertof, Michael Brown, The Press.

We finally see just what 'I take full responsibility' means as FEMA chair, and sacrificial lamb Michael Brown is sent back to Washington.

Act III: The Place-Congress. The scene-before the investigating committee. Dramatis Personae-Brownie, Numerous Republicans, Two Democrats.

In the denoument of this epic, the embattled sacrifical lamb gets a new asshole torn before the entire country by his former collegues. The illusion of shared responsibility is shattered, and the broken man lashes out at his attackers, trying desperately to emulate his superiors and let the blame roll off of his back, but alas, the Chorus is just too strong, and 'Brownie' falls on his sword. And the president, his hands clean of the blood of the innocent once again, sleeps the sleep of the truly disconnected.

Curtain
Blackout
Finis

Me Smart

Who would have ever thought that Stephen Hawking and I would be on the same page about, well, just about anything? Certainly not me. Dr. Hawking, who will be remembered in the same breath with Newton, Einstein, and Beeblebrox as one of the greatest minds in history recently stated that he has all but given up on his search for the Grand Unified Theory (GUT). This is the grail of physicists everywhere; the one equation that will reconcile relativity with quantum physics. Gravity seems to be the key. It is the weakest of forces, yet it binds the universe together in very predictable ways. Predictable, that is until you get very, very small. In the quantum world, down where quarks and bosons roam freely, and a millisecond is an eternity, gravity gets really, really weird. I can't pretend to understand the mathematics of it, but at the quantum level gravity just doesn't make sense. Many, many scientists feel that there must be a single equation that can explain it all, and I've always had a problem with that belief. I never thought that there couldn't be an all encompassing theory of life, the universe, and everything, but I also don't think that there must be one. And now Stephen Hawking agrees. In this month's Discover he states, "Up to now, most people have implicitly assumed that there is an ultimate theory that we will eventually discover. Indeed, in the past I myself have suggested we might find it quite soon. However, we have recently realized that the two leading candidates for the ultimate theory--supergravity and string theory--are just part of a larger structure known as M-theory. Despite the name, M-theory isn't a single theory. It is actually a network of theories, each of which works well in certain circumstances, but breaks down in others. ...This has now made me wonder whether it is possible to formulate a single theory of the universe, at least in a finite number of statements." {Discover magazine, Oct. 2005, Vol.26, No.10, pp. 64-65}

I have always found it quite amazing that the one group of people on Earth you would expect to have the most open minds would be scientists, but often the opposite is true. Frequently the greatest minds are also the ones who latch onto an idea, and strive to prove, rather than disprove it. A few years ago it seemed that every month some astronomer would assert, with absolute conviction, that the age of the universe was X. 10, 12, 14, 15 billion years old, the number fluctuated wildly. Finally, when it became apparent that the universe was somewhere between 8 and 13 billion years old, but there appeared to be stars that were 15 billion years old, astronomers admitted that there must be something we just don't know yet. And now physicists are following that path of the unknowing.

Anyone, be they scientist, philosopher, or theologian who claims to have all the answers is suspect in my eyes. We are a fledgling species, on the very fringes of our understanding of the universe in which we live, and if one of the greatest minds on Earth, Dr. Stephen Hawking, and one of the lesser minds, yours truly, can see that, then there is hope for us after all.

Oops, gotta go. Spongebob Squarpants is on.
;-)
Marius

What a World

I was just looking at some of the Rita coverage coming from Texas, and I actually thought to myself 'Whew, at least it was only a cat. 3.'

That's pretty messed up.

Marius

Happy News

Greetings, and welcome. Today I have some items that illustrate that the handbasket we seem to be plunging downward in isn't without some light.

This first observation was inspired by an entry in Pikaresque's blog. One positive aspect of the whole Hurricane Katrina mess is the effect it has had on the media. Usually they stand aside in thier pressed shirts and polyester pantsuits and watch people suffer and ask the most inane of questions. This time the combination of absolute devestation and official inertia shocked the media out of their electric towers and dragged the humanity out of them. Plus I have, for the first time in my life, not heard a single Floridian commentator chuckle, grin slyly at the camera, and say "Boy, aren't we glad that one missed us?"

Some stories from the world of science are hopeful too. Scientists have been seraching for some time now for a way to make a nuclear fusion reactor. We have had fission reactors ever since the 40's, but these are inefficient, dangerous, and creates tons of toxic waste. [side note: I just looked up the toxic potential of plutonium, which I had always believed to be the most toxic substance on Earth. It isn't. The primary danger from plutonium is radiation, and even then it's not as bad as other substances. The alpha particles emitted by plutonium aren't energetic enough to penetrate the skin, so surface effects are it's main danger. If ingested, or inhaled, then there are great cancer risks. It is certainly not a safe substance, but cyanide will kill you faster, and if a little bit of plutonium were introduced into a water supply it would not kill an entire city.] Fission is the famous splitting of atoms, thus releasing their stored energy. Fusion, on the other hand, is the combining of atoms, thus forming other substances, and releasing far more energy, without the nasty byproducts. This process is very difficult to achieve, and has only been accomplished in very limited forms, for very brief times, and at exteremely high temperatures. Cold fusion, the current holy grail of physisists, would permit a fusion reaction at room temperature. With the exception of a few, unverifiable and unreproduceable claims to the contrary this has never been achieved. On Earth, that is.
At the center of our system is a huge fusion reactor, the Sun. For decades we have been trying to harness that bountiful, endless supply of energy directly using photo-voltaic cells to convert sunlight into electricity. These are hiddeously inefficient and expensive, and just don't seem to be the way to go. Now bio-engineers are going in a direction I never imagined, and it's brilliant. Plants convert sunlight into energy with incredible efficiency, so geneticists are working on creating bacteria or algea that can, through photosynthesis, convert sunlight into ethanol, or hydrogen without messy byproducts or chemicals. This science is in its infancy, but across the board engineers are turning to nature to solve problems that evolution has already figured out. Remote Air Vehicles are being designed to mimic birds and flying insects, submarines are being patterned after fish and sea mammals, so it's only natural [heh heh] that scientists look for biological solutions to our looming energy problems.

On the space front, it seems that there is a little start-up group that may just be able to pull NASA's chestnuts out of the roaster. A company called Trasformational Space, or t/Space has been working with NASA funding to create a relatively inexpensive low Earth orbit craft to use as a back-up for when the shuttle isn't working. NASA has been trying something new, giving small research grants to companies to encourage them to come up with new space flight vehicles. As a company clears certain hurdles, NASA trickles them some more funding, thus getting more bang for their buck, and avoiding the inhearant bloat and waste of government research. t/Space has already successfully tested a full-sized re-entry capsule mock-up that splashes down in the ocean, and a 1/4 scale launch vehicle dropped from a Scaled Composites Proteus aircraft. The launch strategy is nothing short of genius. The two-stage rocket is lifted to 50,000 feet above the Earth, well above any potential bad weather, by a specially fitted aircraft. It is then released, and a drough chute pulls the rocket away from the aircraft and orients it tail down. The single engine is fired, and the rocket is soon in orbit. This is not meant to be a replacement for the Crew Exploration Vehicle, due in 2011 or so, but it will be finished long before the more expensive and complex shuttle successor. Since the shuttle program is scheduled for termination as soon as the ISS is complete, this will keep the manned spaceflight program in this country alive for the forseeable future. And t/Space isn't only focusing on government contracts. They are planning to capitalize on their low cost to orbit strategies, and are one of the possible contractors working with Robert Bigelow, a developer who hopes to have a commercial space station in orbit by 2010.
This story gives me hope for two reasons. First of all it shows that the commercial exploitation of space will bring real results much more quickly than the government will. And secondly it shows that NASA is finally realizing that they have to shift their paradigm if they are going to remain relevent. Let's hope it works. :-)

Marius

I Embrace My Inner Geek

There were only two areas of geekdom that I have managed, up til now, to avoid. Comic books, and on-line gaming. Well, recently my friend Adam and my wife have conspired to get me into comic books. I am now hooked on Boneyard and The Teen Titans, dammit! And last night I dove headfirst into the digital world of on-line gaming.

A little history is in order here. I was always the worst video gamer of our merry little band. While Dave, and Steve, and Jeff were dominating Donkey Kong, or Joust, or Gauntlet, I had trouble with Pac-Man and Asteroids. And when Defender came out, with three different buttons and a joy-stick I turned in my quarters and stuck with my books. Over the years I have tried a few others, even purchasing a second hand Nintendo system, but for the most part my video gaming has been restricted to things like cards, and Scrabble, and Trivial Pursuit. Then Dave called me a couple of weeks ago.

"Dude, we're going to play Diablo II on line. Get the game and join us."

Well, it became quickly obvious why Dave is such a successful salesman, and within minutes I was on eBay looking for the software. It was found, and purchased, and last night we played. They all had played the game before, so I was something of a hinderance to the party, but we still managed to kill everything that came our way, although I got dead more than a couple of times. I haven't figured out how they can type and fight at the same time. Everytime I would stop to answer or send a message, when I looked up I was alone. But we all had fun, and as I was drinking my morning go-juice at oh-dark-thirty today I was killing quill-rats and zombies and nearly losing all track of time. This is too cool!

Yup, no doubt about it. I'm a geek. But at least I'm a married geek, so I do occasionally get laid. ;-)

Marius

Purge The Lexicon

Greetings, Gentle Readers, and welcome to a moderately pissed of version of The Corner. Herein shall I list the words and phrases I could happily go my entire life without ever hearing again. Pray feel free to add to the list.

Bling: Ok, it was cool when it was a rap code word for upscale and flashy jewelry, but now I hear it in everything from sitcoms to Burger King ads. It's time to throw this overused word into the linguistic cesspool.

Ya know what I'm sayin'?: It is the height of naivete to state that there are no cultural differences between the black and white communities in this country. For decades white folks have used 'like' and 'you know' as conversational place holders. Black folks use 'you know what I'm sayin' in a similar way. But now that rap has become so popular you hear white people using it, and it's got to stop! Black people have struggled to find a cultural identity for a long time now, but every time some affluent white kid mentions the 'bling in my pimped out ride, know what I'm sayin' it takes something away from that struggle. It doesn't make you sound cool when you talk like Snoop Dogg if you look like Doogie Howser. Besides, spinning hub caps on a Gremlin are just plain stupid.

WMD, and War On Terror: Both are overused, bullshit terms being used as a smokescreen by incompetent leaders desperate to justify their bad decisions.

ATM Machine: Ok, folks. ATM stands for Automatic(or automated) Teller Machine. ATM Machine means Automatic Teller Machine Machine. That's just repetitively redundant.

And finally, when referring to yourself and anyone else the word 'me' follows the others!!! I keep hearing 'me and my friend' on the news, in classrooms, and in commercials. I know that teachers are vastly undervalued and underpaid in this country, but such a basic rule of English is surely still being taught.

Peace out, yo. ;-)
Marius

Get Your Unitarian Jihad Name

My Unitarian Jihad Name is: Brother Machine Gun of Enlightenment.

Get yours.

With loving, and fully approved thanks to Sister Cattle Prod of Compassion

Unbridled Reasonableness Approaches

From the San Fransisco Chronicle:




JON CARROLL
- Jon Carroll
Friday, April 8, 2005


The following is the first communique from a group calling itself Unitarian Jihad. It was sent to me at The Chronicle via an anonymous spam remailer. I have no idea whether other news organizations have received this communique, and, if so, why they have not chosen to print it. Perhaps they fear starting a panic. I feel strongly that the truth, no matter how alarming, trivial or disgusting, must always be told. I am pleased to report that the words below are at least not disgusting:

Greetings to the Imprisoned Citizens of the United States. We are Unitarian Jihad. There is only God, unless there is more than one God. The vote of our God subcommittee is 10-8 in favor of one God, with two abstentions. Brother Flaming Sword of Moderation noted the possibility of there being no God at all, and his objection was noted with love by the secretary.

Greetings to the Imprisoned Citizens of the United States! Too long has your attention been waylaid by the bright baubles of extremist thought. Too long have fundamentalist yahoos of all religions (except Buddhism -- 14-5 vote, no abstentions, fundamentalism subcommittee) made your head hurt. Too long have you been buffeted by angry people who think that God talks to them. You have a right to your moderation! You have the power to be calm! We will use the IED of truth to explode the SUV of dogmatic expression!

People of the United States, why is everyone yelling at you??? Whatever happened to ... you know, everything? Why is the news dominated by nutballs saying that the Ten Commandments have to be tattooed inside the eyelids of every American, or that Allah has told them to kill Americans in order to rid the world of Satan, or that Yahweh has instructed them to go live wherever they feel like, or that Shiva thinks bombing mosques is a great idea? Sister Immaculate Dagger of Peace notes for the record that we mean no disrespect to Jews, Muslims, Christians or Hindus. Referred back to the committee of the whole for further discussion.

We are Unitarian Jihad. We are everywhere. We have not been born again, nor have we sworn a blood oath. We do not think that God cares what we read, what we eat or whom we sleep with. Brother Neutron Bomb of Serenity notes for the record that he does not have a moral code but is nevertheless a good person, and Unexalted Leader Garrote of Forgiveness stipulates that Brother Neutron Bomb of Serenity is a good person, and this is to be reflected in the minutes.

Beware! Unless you people shut up and begin acting like grown-ups with brains enough to understand the difference between political belief and personal faith, the Unitarian Jihad will begin a series of terrorist-like actions. We will take over television studios, kidnap so-called commentators and broadcast calm, well-reasoned discussions of the issues of the day. We will not try for "balance" by hiring fruitcakes; we will try for balance by hiring non-ideologues who have carefully thought through the issues.

We are Unitarian Jihad. We will appear in public places and require people to shake hands with each other. (Sister Hand Grenade of Love suggested that we institute a terror regime of mandatory hugging, but her motion was not formally introduced because of lack of a quorum.) We will require all lobbyists, spokesmen and campaign managers to dress like trout in public. Televangelists will be forced to take jobs as Xerox repair specialists. Demagogues of all stripes will be required to read Proust out loud in prisons.

We are Unitarian Jihad, and our motto is: "Sincerity is not enough." We have heard from enough sincere people to last a lifetime already. Just because you believe it's true doesn't make it true. Just because your motives are pure doesn't mean you are not doing harm. Get a dog, or comfort someone in a nursing home, or just feed the birds in the park. Play basketball. Lighten up. The world is not out to get you, except in the sense that the world is out to get everyone.

Brother Gatling Gun of Patience notes that he's pretty sure the world is out to get him because everyone laughs when he says he is a Unitarian. There were murmurs of assent around the room, and someone suggested that we buy some Congress members and really stick it to the Baptists. But this was deemed against Revolutionary Principles, and Brother Gatling Gun of Patience was remanded to the Sunday Flowers and Banners committee.

People of the United States! We are Unitarian Jihad! We can strike without warning. Pockets of reasonableness and harmony will appear as if from nowhere! Nice people will run the government again! There will be coffee and cookies in the Gandhi Room after the revolution.



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Startling new underground group spreads lack of panic! Citizens declare themselves "relatively unafraid" of threats of undeclared rationality. People can still go to France, terrorist leader says.
Michael row the boat ashore, and then get some of the local kids to pull the boat onto the dock, and come visit with jcarroll@sfchronicle.com.

Page E - 18
URL: http://sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?file=/chronicle/archive/2005/04/08/DDG27BCFLG1.DTL


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©2005 San Francisco Chronicle

Need Some Assitance

Greetings, Gentle Readers. I would like to conduct a totally unscientific poll here. The movie Napolean Dynamite...greatest flick ever made, or dismal waste of pixels? I have been trying to decide whether to rent it or not, and lest this seem a strange dilemma, we don't get much kid-free time to watch movies, so we must rent carefully lest we end up with late fees on movies we never even got to watch. So chime in, and guide your friendly neighborhood Marius.

Musica Obscuria*

Ok, Senior Tortuga, the gloves are off. I'll see your 5 desert island CD's, and raise you this. What 5 musical groups and/or albums that only you, and maybe 3 other people in the world, know about and love, should everyone be made aware of. Allow me to fire the first salvo.

Lawyers, Guns, and Money: Warren Zevon This album has the classic Werewolves of London on it, but also the equally classic Roland the Headless Thompson Gunner, and the title song Lawyers, Guns, and Money. This is Zevon at his weirdly political best. And who else could make the phrase 'the shit has hit the fan' sound so lyrical?



Brontosaurus: DaVinci's Notebook This mostly acappella quartet is a favorite on the Bob and Tom show with such brilliant songs as Internet Porn, and Heather Graham, but their Irish Drinking Song is something best listened to when not drinking to avoid a beer cleansing of the nasal passages. And, of course, Enormous Penis speaks for itself.

From Dublin to Dakar: Various Artists If someone said to you 'you know what would sound great together? Bagpipes and African tribal drums' you'd probably think they were waaaayyy too friendly with the hooka, but this fusion of Celtic and Middle Eastern music is incredible. Very little of the album is in English, but Arabic and Gaelic blend beautifully to create a tapestry of unintelligibility that is the musical equivalent of listening to the waves at night: you haven't a clue what the meaning is, but it is still a pleasing sound.

Imaginos: Blue Oyster Cult This was BOC's only concept album, and I think one of their best albums, period. It's creepy in that Lovecraftian, I-think-I-just-missed-something way that BOC has, as well as being almost operatic in its score. Not every song is a gem, but with titles like I Am The One You Warned Me Of, and Les Invisibles, and the explosive The Siege and Investiture of Baron Von Frankenstein's Castle at Wasseria there is a track for nearly every mood on this disc. It is my all time favorite BOC album, yet it languishes in out-of-print obscurity.

Kiss: Alive This is Kiss's first, and best live album. It comes from the time before the lads began to believe their own press, and The Show became more important than the music. This double disc set totally kicks ass, with a 10 minute long Peter Chris drum solo in the middle of it that makes your arms ache just listening. It pre-dates Destroyer, so no Detroit Rock City, but they more than make up for that with 100,000 Years, Rock Bottom, Hotter Than Hell, Strutter, and that quintessential anthem, Rock and Roll All Night, and Party Every Day. If you want to hear what Kiss sounded like before they became more side show than rock show this is the album to get.

Ok, that's 5. I could go on with bands like Luscious Jackson, and Off Kilter(Tom Sawyer played on a bagpipe), but I'll obey my own restrictions. There is, however, one honorable mention. The Buggles: The Age of Plastic. Most of the album is like Thomas Dolby Lite, but Video Killed the Radio Star is such a classic that it's worth the rest of the disc.

Tag! You're it!

Marius


*I don't know if that's real Latin, but it sounds good.

Disturbed...And Liking It

I was commenting to the wife the other day that after hearing their latest single I decided that I like the band Disturbed. So yesterday she picked up 'The Sickness'. I was listening to it this morning and I had this bizarre description of the band pop into my head. I imagine that this is what it would sound like if a tribe of mountain gorillas were to become a rock band.

Check 'em out, they rock.

Marius

Separation, Schmeparation

How many times have you quoted The Constitution when discussing such touchstone issues as free speech, freedom of the press, or the separation of church and state. I know I have done so often, and with the righteous assurance of the totally correct. Then on the way home tonight I was scanning through the conservative quagmire that is AM radio and I heard a discussion about the separation of church and state. That whole 'under God' in the Pledge of Allegience thing again. (an athiest is sueing to get the phrase stricken from the Pledge so his daughter isn't forced to acknowledge a deity they don't accept) Now I really don't care for the Pledge, since anything that a child is forced to repeat over and over eventually loses all meaning (uh oh, I guess I'd better say 1500 Hail Mary's) but I figured this would be a slam dunk. No 10 Commandments in a court house--no 'under God' in a public school. But the gentlemen on the radio were saying that the phrase 'separation of church and state' isn't anywhere in the Constitution. What, what, whaaaaaat?!, Quoth I. But that is one of the most basic tenets of American society, isn't it? So I did something radical upon my return home. I read the Constitution.

The Contstitution of the United States is a remarkably simple document, and equally as remarkable in it's brevity. Granted it goes into some pretty opaque 'leagalese' in its descriptions of the duties and limitations of the three branches of government, but overall it is very straight forward. There are a few surprises, like this one from Article 1, Section 8: The Congress shall have power to...raise and support armies, but no appropriation of money to that use shall be for a longer term than two years; How long have we been in Iraq? But the most shocking thing I found was that there are only two mentions of the church in the Constitution. One simply states(in Article VI) that The Senators and Representatives before mentioned, and the members of the several state legislatures, and all executive and judicial officers, both of the United States and of the several states, shall be bound by oath or affirmation, to support this Constitution; but no religious test shall ever be required as a qualification to any office or public trust under the United States. The other, and most famous, yet most misused, is from the First Amendment: Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof. I may not be a lawyer, or a Constitutional scholar, but it seems to me that the Constitution merely prevents the formation of a state church, but says nothing about keeping religion out of goverment. If anything it seems to me that the Constitution protects religion from the government, and not the other way around. And there is absolutely nothing preventing individual states from imposing whatever religious regulation they deem fit. The document simply prohbits the federal government from interfering in religious practice. That's a far cry from a separation of church and state.

Now I'm scared.

Marius

D&D Geeks Unite!

This is kinda cool, if you ever played Dungeons and Dragons. Go to this site and answer a few questions to find out what D&D character you are. This was lovingly swiped from Loki's blog.



Here are my results:

I Am A: Chaotic Good Half-Elf Fighter Ranger


Alignment:
Chaotic Good characters are independent types with a strong belief in the value of goodness. They have little use for governments and other forces of order, and will generally do their own things, without heed to such groups.


Race:
Half-Elves are a cross between a human and an elf. They are smaller, like their elven ancestors, but have a much shorter lifespan. They are sometimes looked down upon as half-breeds, but this is rare. They have both the curious drive of humans and the patience of elves.


Primary Class:
Fighters are the warriors. They use weapons to accomplish their goals. This isn't to say that they aren't intelligent, but that they do, in fact, believe that violence is frequently the answer.


Secondary Class:
Rangers are the defenders of nature and the elements. They are in tune with the Earth, and work to keep it safe and healthy.


Deity:
Tymora is the Chaotic Good goddess of luck and good fortune. She is also known as Lady Luck, and also Tyche's fair-tressed daughter. Followers of Tymora believe in the tenent that, 'Fortune Favors the Bold,' and will throw caution to the wind and trust to luck to work things out for the best. Tymora's symbol is an unmarked silver disk.


Find out What D&D Character Are You?, courtesy ofNeppyMan (e-mail)




Q'aplah!

A Revelation, and A Request

This past weekend my former Artistic Director back in Louisiana got married. I was invited, but due to many reasons, not the least of which being that God smote most of the roadways twixt here and there, I was unable to attend. Yesterday I was chatting with one of the students who did go to the wedding, and she said that she didn't get to dance at the reception. I asked her why, and she said that the music was mostly 80's rock, and while she really likes that music, she would have to look too stupid to dance to it. And I realized that that is exactly why I don't dance. That is the era I learned to dance in, and she's right. 80's dancing looked more like an epileptic seizure rather than any sort of premeditated activity.

Now the request. I have been noticing for a while now just how many people don't really understand most of the science that governs our daily lives. I have made science a hobby, and many of the things I consider common knowledge aren't all that common. So if you have a question about how, or why, or what please let me know and I will do my best to get you an answer that doesn't involve imaginary numbers, or 11 dimensional thinking. :-)

Later,
Marius

I Needed That

"There is nothing, absolutely nothing half as fun as simply messing about in boats."
Water Rat, Wind In The Willows

Man did I need today. The family and I went to Naples to visit some dear friends last night, and then went canoeing today. It was quiet, calm, and aside from an overly loquatious tour guide, quite peaceful. Even the kids, our 1 and their 2, were well behaved for the most part. But one of the greatest pleasures of the day, aside from spending time with old friends, was that we went almost the whole day without hearing the words Bush, New Orleans, Blame Game, Iraq, or any other hot button words. You never really know how tense your brain can get until you get a chance to unclench it. We played board games, chased the children, played with Bigby, the incredibly cute 4 month old wolf/dog puppy they just got, reminisced a bit, and generally just farted around. The most stressful part of the day was a Jenga game. Pizza and beer were plentiful, and now I'm happily exhausted and going to bed. Thanks Adam and Bi.

Shiny, Happy Blogging

"Life is pain, Highness. Anyone who says otherwise is selling something."
The Dread Pirate Roberts

Welcome to The Corner, dear Readers. This blog has been quite the repository of doom and gloom of late, and not without reason. The world has been quite the sucky place for a while now, but today I have decided to accentuate the positive, and eliminate the negative by regaling you all with some of the things that bring me pleasure...things that you too may enjoy.

TELEVISION

The world of Science Fiction television has been spotty at best. During the 60's there was great Science Fiction television(The Twilight Zone, The Outer Limits, Star Trek), and not so great Science Fiction television(Lost In Space). After Star Trek repaved the way for quality SF viewing there were various attempts to emulate Roddenberry's success. There was the cheesy UFO, the over dramatic Space:1999, the terrible Quark, but one show managed to walk the very fine line between cheese and melodrama to become a classic of 70's television: Battlestar Galactica. Now you can say what you want about the hokey storylines, or that annoying robot dog-thing, but Galactica insinuated itself into our culture to the point that few people of my generation had not heard of it. Last year the SciFi channel began a new Battlestar Galactica series. I was skeptical, since most of SciFi's original programming is, to be generous, weak. (Mansquito, anyone?) But I watched, and I watched, and I watched, and now I'm hooked. It is very different from its ancestor, with no robot dogs or precocious children. What it does have is drama, and despair, and heroism, and a gritty reality that grabs you by the throat and makes you care. It isn't always easy to watch, but once you stop trying to find Galactica past in it, Galactica present is a great show. It's on Friday nights on SciFi after two other fun shows, Stargate SG1, and Stargate Atlantis.

The other show I love to watch these days is Mythbusters, on the Discovery channel. If you haven't seen this show yet, it consists of two special effects technicians, Jamie Hyneman and Adam Savage, who set out to prove or disprove urban myths. And usually something gets blown up in the process. With a few notable exceptions, like the time they sealed two dead pigs in a Corvette for two months to see if a dead body would really stink up a car so badly that it couldn't be cleaned enough to sell, these guys have the best job in the world. They have done everything from exploding toilets to blowing up an entire cement mixer. They even turned a huge cherry picker into a modern trebuchet in an attempts to hurl their crash test dummy, Buster, across an abandoned landing strip. Wednesday nights at 9 is when you'll find this one, or Sunday afternoons.

Spirits

Ok, I'm no connoisseur, but I likes my wine. I used to hate the stuff, being a devout worshipper of the fermenters of hopps and barley, but a little over a decade ago a friend convinced me to try some cabernet sauvignon, and the rest is history. It is possible to go broke buying wine, but as you might have gathered if you are a regular visitor to my little spot here on the web I ain't exactly swimming in ducats. I have tried many different varieties of inexpensive wines, and finally hit upon two that totally rock. I prefer merlot, and the best ones I have found, and I thank my dear friend Tammy for introducing them to me, are Yellow Tail and Little Penguin. I was once told to stick with French wines, but these both come from Down Under, and have a remarkable consistency of flavor. I don't know squat about 'bouquet', or 'nose', or any of that other pretentious wine crap, I just know that I can spend 6 to 8 bucks for a bottle of Yellow Tail (kangaroo on the label) or Little Penguin (guess what's on that label) and it will always taste good. I have also, though usually not on purpose, polished off an entire bottle of each of these in one night, and not been hating life the next morning.

Food

During our Louisianian exile we dearly missed two restaurants: Boston Market, and Pollo Tropical. We don't have a Pollo here in Tampa, but boy are there Boston Markets. Oddly enough it's not their entrees that I missed, but their side dishes. They have a sweet potato casserole that's to die for, and their macaroni and cheese, while pure polyester, is heavenly. But there is one comestible that I didn't realize how much I missed it until I had it again. Publix supermarkets all have a deli where they make subs. And I used to live on Publix turkey subs. Their bread will rip your teeth out if you're not careful, but I just love that sub.

Ok, these are a few things that I look forward to, that make me smile. Other good things in my life, like my wife and kid, are just for me, but these are things I can share with you. I know that in light of what's going on around us these are trivial, but life is a series of tiny, trivial things all woven together to make a tapestry of existence, and it's ok if some of the threads are sillier than others.

Peace out, my friends.
Marius

Blame, Blame, Bo-Blame, Banana-Fana-Fo-Flame

I'm baaaaack! The political landscape is heating up like a cast iron pan sitting in the focus of a parabolic mirror in Death Valley at high noon in August. The Mandelbrot Rorschach that is our government is happily tearing out its own liver over the hurricane Katrina response. The mayor of New Orleans makes barely intelligible accusations and profanity laden laments to Louisiana governor Blanco, yet when it was suggested before the storm hit that he use the city's school buses to evacuate people he refused, saying that 'they' should send a fleet of Greyhound buses, and when 'they' didn't it was too late since the school buses were underwater.

Governor Blanco raises a fist at the federal government, saying if they had strengthened the levees in past years, as was requested by the Army Corps of Engineers this never would have happened. The feds riposte by saying that billions were given to Louisiana, but the bills were so full of pork that very little of the money actually made it to where it was supposed to go, and after living in LA for three years, and seeing the levels of corruption there, I don't doubt it.

But wait! Breaking news, folks. FEMA chief Michael Brown has been fired!! He has borne the brunt of the criticism since the hurricane, and it doesn't seem unjustified. Reporters were on the scene within hours of the devastation, but he says he couldn't get his people in for days. Then there was the interview with Ted Koppel where he was asked why people at the New Orleans Convention Center had yet to receive any assistance, and he was completely unaware that anyone was there. Koppel lost his cool for a moment asking Brown if he had any televisions or radios at FEMA, since the situation at the convention center was well publicized.

Even Colin Powell, who has frustratingly refused to criticize the administration he so obviously disagreed with, has said that the response to the crisis was substandard.

So here's my opinion, and the one thing folks seem to be ignoring. Reporters were able to get to the heart of the stricken areas immediately. It was plain that people were dying, and that rapid, urgent action was needed. I keep hearing that the response was appropriate given the scope of the tragedy...and it is now. But for nearly 4 days nothing happened, and too many people died. The preparations for, and response to this storm that, despite W's protestations to the contrary, was a surprise to no one were totally inadequate. And in this situation inadequacy = death. When 7 astronauts died because of bureaucracy people clamored for heads to roll, well possibly thousands of civilians have died needlessly, and there had damn well be not only reckoning and recompense, but measures must be put in place to ensure that such a thing never happens in this country again. FEMA has, over the last few years, become a punchline rather than a godsend, and this tragedy points that out in full, bloody detail. It's a real shame that Trent Lott lost a house in the hurricane, and I'm sure that W was sincere when he sympathized with his colleague on national television, which is what really scares me. All this talk about making America safer for Americans has just been covered with 20 feet of stinking, sewage-riddled, oil-coated, corpse-filled water, and when it finally recedes there had better be real action taken, rather than the perpetual buck passing and spin doctoring that has been the hallmark of the Bush administration.

In my humble opinion, of course.
Marius

And Now For Something Not-So Completely Different

In my bid to maintain the cosmic balance, I give you the dark side of cats. (well, actually I give you the true nature of our feline overlords)

www.mycathatesyou.com

Be afraid...be very afraid.

Marius

Kittens!!!!

Ok, here is something that is completely at the opposite end of the emotional scale from despair. Kittens!

http://www.dailykitten.com/

I honestly don't remember where I found this. It was either from Kim Komando's site, or Loki's blog( http://www.livejournal.com/users/chaosloki/ ) but where ever it came from, it's pretty darned hard to see these little darlings and stay upset.

Go there meow!! ;-)

Marius

Sorry To Be A Bummer

Greetings, Gentle Readers,
I know things haven't been too entertaining here at The Corner lately, and I will be making an effort to be a bit less self-indulgent in the very near future. I know my own worries are insignificant compared to many these days, but they became overwhelming yesternight and this morning, and this blogging thing has quite the theraputic effect. So I thank you for your patience, and after a bit of emotional roadwork I promise to get back to the irreverence very soon.

And now I'll close with a joke:

An 8-year-old girl went to her dad, who was working in the yard.
She said, ''Daddy, what is sex?''

The father was surprised that she would ask such a question, but decided that if she was old enough to ask the question, then she was old enough to get a straight answer.

He proceeded to tell her all about the 'birds and the bees.''

When he finished explaining, the little girl was looking at him with her mouth hanging open.

Her father said, ''Why did you ask that question, honey?''

She replied, ''Mom told me to tell you that dinner will be ready in just a few sex.''

Tired

I'm tired.
Tired of being angry.
Tired of wanting, needing, not having.
Tired of hating everything that comes out of our leaders' mouths.
Tired of feeling like I'm the only one who can see how messed up things are.
Tired of lashing out at those nearest me because I can't lash out at those who are the cause of my anger.
Tired of the daily routine that holds me in an iron grip.
Tired of television, news, needing to know yet fearing the horrors that await.
Tired of pundits, and analysts, and commentators.
Tired of CNN, and Fox News, and The Weekly World News.
Tired of conservatives, and liberals, and everything in between.
Tired of death, and blame, and rhymed couplets that replace truth.
Tired of the bone-crushing realities that refuse to let me ignore them, yet stay just out of my reach to affect them.
Tired of listening to my own whining.


And to top it off, Gilligan died yesterday.

Quit Complaining about the Complaining

I am not going to jump on the Bush Bashing Bandwagon for once. The people who are pissing me off now are the ones bitching about the people who are bitching. Pointing fingers, placing blame, and general belly-aching is, no offense to Abner Doubleday, the true national passtime. We love to blame, and gossip, and belly-ache about every little thing. Well now we have a great, big thing to bitch about, and while there are equal parts justified anger(everything that happened to the Gulf Coast was anticipated years ago), and knee-jerk rhetoric(George Bush hates black people) it is fundamental to the American way to bitch. We saw the beginnings of this back when the Iraq War started. Anyone who opposed the war was branded un-patriotic, but what is more American than disagreeing with those in power? That's what got this country started in the first place. Now folks are getting upset at the folks who are upset at the snail's pace of the initial hurricane relief efforts. I, myself, was shaking my fist in impotent rage that nothing was done sooner. And I'll happily foist the blame on whomever I deem deserving, but that hasn't stopped me from donating goods and blood to the cause. Let people bitch. As long as the food and water are going where they should, and the refugees finally have a dry, disease-free bed to sleep on, let the pundits rant and rave. It's the price we pay for constant, 24 hour access to news coverage. On a bad day there might be enough news to fill an hour. That leaves an awful lot of empty air time, and folks would complain just as loudly if the same stuff were broadcast over and over as they do now about talking heads trying to get one more drop of blood from an overused stone.

And yes, I realize that this rant is somewhat oxymoronic, but hey, I'm an American, dammit! :-)

Love and kisses,
Marius

Yeah, I'm a Sellout

Hey Folks,
As you can see, I've caved in to 'the man'. It's actually kinda cool. Google ads scan my blogs for keywords, then post ads based on what's in the blog. For example the ads for turtles and turtle supplies, of course the robot couldn't tell that I was saying how much turtles suck. If ya want, give a click and check out what they're hocking. Every click gets me some fraction of a penny, so I'm not looking to make serious money here, but if I can pull in half a tank of gas every other month what the hey.
So if you wouldn't mind clicking an ad every now and then I'd be most grateful, and if not thanks for stopping by anyway.

Peace out,
Marius

Here's the Shell-Pig 

Listen To The Squirrel

Check this out. The language is "R", but the message is vital.

http://www.illwillpress.com/kat.html

Amphibious Reptiles Suck

My stepdaughter's dad gave her a turtle just before we moved to sunny Tampa. It's pretty big, as house turtles go, about 6" long, and typical of every captive turtle I've ever seen...perpetually pissed. It's in a little, 5 gallon aquarium, and spends the time it's not sleeping or eating in an all-out effort to burrow through the glass walls of it's prison. I intend to upgrade it to a 10 gallon tank, but I have no doubt that, given the opportunity, this little darling would kill us all in our sleep, and then go try to dig through the walls of the apartment. Where it thinks it can go is beyond me, but it wants out, and badly. Now I love animals, especially mammals with sweet dispositions, and I don't want this beast to suffer, but that being said I don't care for this creature. You can't play with it, it's about as affectionate as a rabid tasmanian devil with hemmoroids, and I constantly have to remind the young'n to feed it. She's named it Silly-Head. I call it Shell-Pig on a good day, Asshole whenever the kid's not home. And I'm the one who gets to clean its filter. The filter cartridge needs to be replaced monthly, and it's not a pretty thing. One good sized turtle generates a lot of slimy turtle-poo, and the guy who couldn't care less about turtles get the joyous task of de-sliming the tank. I'm beginning to understand why Godzilla was created before Gamera...turtles suck! (no offense, Steve)

What's my point? None, really. Just bitching. Carry on, nothing more to see here. I have to go get turtle shit out from under my fingernails.

Marius

Another Way To Help

Hey Folks,
The coffers here at The Corner are full of little x's and a few moths, but my veins are now, happily, one pint emptier. If you haven't the extra scratch to send to your favorite charity, go to your local blood bank and give a pint of yourself. It takes less than an hour, only hurts a little bit, and can help save many lives. And if you are truly a manly man, or womanly woman, become an apheresis donor. You can do that once a week, and save many more lives. It's the greatest high you can get with a needle, plus you get free snacks and a tee-shirt!

I dare ya! ;-)

Marius

Don't Help Feed The Scumbags

And now for a public service announcement. Disasters can bring out the best in people, and the worst, and one unfortunate effect of shaking things up as much as Katrina did is that many of the bottom feeders have risen to the surface. If you recieve an email, no matter how legit it looks, that claims to be from a charitable organization, please check them out before donating. And even then don't use any links from unsolicited emails. Any legitimate group will have their own website that you can find through any search engine.

Even if an email looks like it came from a real organization, that's no guarantee. These phishers have gotten pretty good at faking the look of real banks and other institutions in an attempt to bilk people out of their money. Often the only give away is some extra stuff in the email address. Your best bet is to go the organization's home page by yourself, and then make your donation.

Hope this helps.

Marius

Vitriol and Bile

I am posting a very angry, and very profanity-ridden diatribe against an ass who had the audacity to say from the pulpit that those suffering along our Gulf Coast deserved it. Because simply writing hasn't satisfied the outrage I am posting it as a comment to this, so that no one need see it if they don't want to. Yeah, it's that rough.

Your brother in rage,
Marius

A Little Perspective, If You Please

If I hear one more person bitch about how much it costs now to fill thier f***ing SUV on TV or the radio I'm going to climb through the screen and throttle them! Yeah, paying $3.00 for a gallon of gas sucks, but not as much as standing in hip-deep water, dodging corpses and looking at the slab of concrete that used to be your house. Or huddling in a giant convection oven that used to be a sports arena wondering where your family members are. Or drowning in your attic because you were too weak, or frail, or sick, or poor to evacuate. And for once I'm on the side of the government here. They are doing all they can, but releasing some of the Strategic Petroleum Supply, while necessary, won't affect gas prices anytime soon. The damage to our oil industry wasn't in the drilling area (yes, one rig was lost, but only one). The problem is that a significant number of refineries were damaged or destroyed, as were many pipelines. As much as 25% of US oil production could be affected by this storm, and oil without refineries and pipelines is just a bunch of gooey, black gunk.

So tighten your belt folks, get a bike, ride the bus, and reserve the sorrow for those who have earned it.
Marius

How Best To Help Hurricane Victims

My Friends,
You have no doubt seen the absolute devestation Katrina left in her wake, and like me you want to do something, so here is advise directly from the American Red Cross web site telling you the best way to help. More importantly it tells how not to help. Please read the entire thing, and then do what you can.
Marius


About Donating Goods to the Red Cross for Areas Impacted by Hurricane KatrinaWritten by Leigh-Anne Dennison , Redcross.org Staff

Wednesday, August 31, 2005 — When a disaster of the magnitude of Hurricane Katrina strikes and the news broadcasts images of broken, battered and destroyed homes, it is natural for the public to be eager to help their neighbors – whether they’re across town or across the country. Often, seeing that they have lost everything, people are eager to donate food, clothing or other goods to meet the needs of storm victims and help the affected families begin to replace what they have lost.


Anheuser-Busch donated more than six million cans of
water to the American Red Cross and other relief agencies
to aid victims and relief workers during the 2004 Atlantic
hurricanes. U.S. Navy personnel provided invaluable
assistance to the Hurricane Ivan relief operation last
year by loading critically needed water donated by
Anheuser-Busch onto Red Cross ERVs at the Pensacola
Civic Center distribution site, Fla., September 2004.
(Photo Credit: Dave Murray/American Red Cross/File)

"While that generous spirit is truly appreciated, the American Red Cross cannot accept this type of donation for the victims it is serving," said Amanda Lepof, an American Red Cross In-Kind Officer.

Today, the Red Cross is operating more than 250 shelters across seven states, providing a safe haven for nearly 42,000 evacuees – many who have been left homeless by Katrina. The first priority is meeting the urgent, critical needs of those people, which include providing emergency shelter, food and water.

"In-kind donations are best when they come from companies that can provide new items in a quantity that meets the mass care needs of victims – for example, Anheuser-Busch is again donating canned water for hurricane victims and response workers," said Lepof. "Unsolicited, spontaneous donations of goods and services from individuals and community groups, although well intentioned, have hidden costs and pose a number of complications for initial relief efforts."

For these reasons, the Red Cross is unable to accept any large collections of items, such as used clothing, hygiene items, furniture, toys, blankets, and canned goods. Nor is it able to accept small, individual donations of these items.

Why does the Red Cross discourage donations of collected goods and individual items for disaster relief?


Collections of items require valuable and scarce resources such as time, money, and personnel to sort, clean, and distribute them, which come at the expense of the emergency activities relief workers are attempting to perform. The Red Cross has neither the resources, nor the logistical set-up, to properly handle these types of donations, and therefore cannot accept them.
In addition, because the organization has no way of knowing what spontaneous individual donations or unsolicited collections of items will consist of, and therefore cannot ensure there will be enough of a particular item to distribute it equitably, or if the donated products will even be appropriate for the relief effort.
Shipping donated goods is also costly and particularly difficult in the aftermath of a disaster, as roads are often damaged or impassable, and easily clogged with shipments of non-priority items. The Red Cross makes every attempt to procure items locally to save money by minimizing transportation and storage costs.
“We don’t want to discourage people who want to help,” said Lepof. “But, making a financial gift to support the relief operations really is the best way for people to help after a disaster like this.”

Monetary financial contributions enable the Red Cross to support the greatest needs in the most efficient manner. Cash can be used to purchase items in adjacent, staging areas and eliminate the added costs involved in transporting goods.

All American Red Cross disaster assistance is free, made possible by voluntary donations of time and money from the American people. You can help the victims of this disaster and thousands of other disasters across the country each year by making a financial gift to the American Red Cross Disaster Relief Fund, which enables the Red Cross to provide shelter, food, counseling and other assistance to those in need. Call 1-800-HELP NOW or 1-800-257-7575 (Spanish). Contributions to the Disaster Relief Fund may be sent to your local American Red Cross chapter or to the American Red Cross, P. O. Box 37243, Washington, DC 20013. Internet users can make a secure online contribution by visiting www.redcross.org.

The End Of The World Is Nigh...Kind Of...maybe

It's Science Day here at The Corner. I just read a story about the return of Apophis. Not the ancient Egyptian god of darkness and destruction, and not the Goa'uld poseur either. This Apophis is potentially much more dangerous. This Apophis is a 1,059 foot-wide asteroid that will pass dangerously close to Earth's center in 2029, and if it follows the right trajectory it's orbit will be deflected enough for an impact in 2036. The resulting crater would be two miles wide, and could generate tsunamis that would make last year's look like a ripple in a pond. There is, admittedly, a 1 in 8,000 chance of that happening, but orbital mechanics are extremely difficult to predict, and our understanding of gravitational forces is still kind of shaky, so it might be prudent to keep an eye on this thing. And that's exactly what former astronaut Russell Schweickart petitioned NASA chief Michael Griffin to consider. He's recommending that a transmitter be placed on Apophis so its orbit can be more closely monitored.

Why worry about this thing now? Why spend the money to launch a transmitter to something that big that's in plain view? Why do men have nipples? All excellent questions. We need to worry about this now because this asteroid is what scientists call 'really big' and if we're going to need to alter its course there are two ways to do it. One is wait till it's fairly close, then send a big rocket or explosive device to shove the thing away. The drawbacks to that plan are 1) you need a really big bang to alter the trajectory enough to avoid something as large as the Earth, and 2) most asteroids are loosely formed conglomerations of rocks, dust, and ice, and a big enough bang to move it will most likely shatter it into hundreds of smaller, but still destructive pieces. The other way is to start early, with a smaller, but more sustained deflection. Scientists predict that, done soon enough, a spacecraft similar to the one that slammed into comet Temple 1 in July would do the trick, since a deflection of even a few degrees, multiplied over the billions of miles the thing travels in just few years adds up to a huge distance. Putting a transmitter on Apophis would be relatively inexpensive, and would make it much easier to calculate the orbit with the precision necessary to truly see if we are in for a cosmic smack down. Last year I learned something surprising. Despite all the science fiction shows we've grown up with[Captain, radar just picked up an unknown object entering our system.], finding something smaller than, say a planet, in orbit is very difficult. Astronomers have to compare hundreds of nightly photos to see just which tiny dots actually move. Then you have to observe the moving stuff for a very long time to see just where, and how fast it's going. Since there aren't that many telescopes large enough for the job, it's very difficult to dedicate a single telescope to watch a single object for the requisite time. And if the object is heading toward us, then it's even harder to spot since there will be no relative movement on the photo. So planting a radio on Apophis seems to me to be a no brainer. NASA will respond to the request in a few weeks. I'll keep an ear out to see what the answer is, and let you know the outcome.

Oh, the man-nipple thing. Haven't the foggiest. Some mysteries were just never meant to be solved.

Peace out.
Marius