Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Boo!



Have a safe and happy Halloween, y'all. And a sad farewell to Robert Goulet who died yesterday of lung disease. He was 73 and waiting for a lung transplant. I met him once. He was not exactly friendly, but he was cordial and a consummate professional and it was a pleasure to work his show. RIP, Lance.

Marius

Monday, October 29, 2007

National Blog Post Month



Howdy, howdy, howdy!! Well, I have committed myself to participate in NaBloPoMo, which means, crappy acronym notwithstanding, that I shall be putting up a new post every day in November. This should be interesting since I have two shows going up, plus the Thanksgiving holiday in that month, but we'll see if I can pull it off. And that's where you come in. I need ideas, questions, suggestions, anything to keep me from being like that air freshener commercial where the two girls are supposed to write a new song for every day the air freshener continues to work. By the end of the commercial the girls are reduced to 'Day 29...fine...whatever.' I will probably start with pics of the young'n as we take her to the new 21st Century trick or treating tradition..THE MALL! dun dun DUNNNNNNN!!! She's going dressed as Queen Amadala...our kid is nothing if not current. And I have yet to convince her that Jar Jar Binks is second only to raw liver in things distasteful to humans, but I'm working on that.

Ok, you have your homework assignment. Let's see what kind of diabolical scheme we can come up with, shall we?

Marius

Sunday, October 28, 2007

Friday, October 26, 2007

Stop Parking Scumbags



How many times have you seen a car pull into a handicap parking space, only to see a spry, very un-handicapped individual hop out and skip lithely into the establishment? Far too many. Up until now you only had three courses of action: 1. Call the police, who would most likely be too busy to catch the dirtbag; 2. Confront said vermin and risk an ass-kicking; or 3. Ignore it and silently fume. Well now there is an actual way to report these lazy bastards. www.handicappedfraud.org/ lets you report violators for investigation. Simply take down the vehicle's license number, the number on the handicapped tag(should there be one) and enter the info at the web site. The site says to leave a note telling the perp that they've been reported, but that is up to you, of course.

This has been a PSA from your friendly neighborhood Marius. Thank you.

;-)

Thursday, October 25, 2007

OooooooOOOOoooooooooo, Scary Stuff



Welcome to a verrrry scarrry edition of The Corner. First of all, let me say hail and well met to two new friends hereabouts. Stinkypaw comes to us from the Great White North, and Purple Pigeon peers across the pond to visit from England. Welcome, welcome, welcome. Both of these ladies have a unique perspective, and very entertaining blogs. I highly recommend them.

As Halloween approaches I find myself waxing nostalgic for the halcyon days of childlessness, and greater alcohol tolerance. And as I travelled back through memories of Halloweens past I remembered my fondest All Hallows Eve memory. 'Twas a party and the home of J&G sometime in the late '80s. Dominos Pizza had an ad campaign that involved The Noid, which was a gnomish stop-motion animated beasty that lived only to destroy Dominos Pizza. I loved the Noid, and got myself a red leotard, blue shorts, my black and white checked 'cool shoes', and with the help of a certain PIKARESQUE made a head piece that replicated the elongated red ears of the fiend. I then made a spear out of an aluminum pipe and plastic curtain rod finial that looked like a spear point, and went to the party. Eventually, after many, many a drink was quaffed, someone(maybe me) came up with the idea to order a Dominos pizza. We pooled our meager cash and ordered a small cheese pizza. Many a giggle was had as I hid around the corner as the unwitting delivery man approached. Once the pie was paid for I came screaming around the corner, speared the box, threw it to the ground and stomped it into submission. We laughed our drunken asses off, and the delivery dude, pissed at having to work Halloween night, told us we had made his evening.

So what is your favorite Halloween memory?

Count Marius

Monday, October 22, 2007

More Monkeyshines



Once again I show that while I may be an idea thief, at least I have the good taste to steal from the best. Monkey asked in her blog what your favorite cover song is. I responded with The Presidents of the USA's version of Video Killed The Radio Star, although the Talking Heads' Take Me To The River, and DEVO's Satisfaction were very close seconds. Then that got me thinking, what song desperately needs to be redone. What song has great potential that was just never realized by the band that created it? To me the top of that list would have to be the 1969 classic In The Year 2525 by Zager and Evans. If you are unfamiliar with this song it paints the next millennium of 'progress' for mankind in a very Huxley/Orwell light. Unfortunately the singer sounds like Buddy Hackett. I find it unfathomable that some heavy hitting band has not decided to remake this one. This apocalyptic ditty needs a voice like Ronnie James Dio, or David Draiman(Disturbed).

So, your mission today is tell us what your favorite remake is, and what song would you love to see remade. Bonus points for what band you would like to see handle it.

Peace,
Marius

It's My Life

Bad Pussy

Add to My Profile | More Videos

Sunday, October 21, 2007

Dumbledore Out of the Broom Closet(Deathly Hallows spoiler alert, although if you haven't read it yet shame on you!)



Speaking to an American audience at Carnegie Hall on Friday, J.K. Rowling announced that she always thought of Dumbledore as gay. Apparently Dumbledore's friendship with Gellert Grindelwald was more unrequited love than just friendship. When Grindelwald turned to the dark arts, Albus was "terribly let down" and then went to battle against Gellert. This was Dumbledore's 'great tragedy' she said. The audience was quiet at first, then slowly responded with a thundering applause. I must confess that when I read the tale of Albus and Gellert something seemed missing, though I don't think that thought ever rose high enough in my consciousness to get any real attention, but it all makes sense now.

The question I bring up about all this is does this revelation matter? Those of you that know me know that I think gay rights are a no-brainer. What any consenting adults do with, or to each other so long as no one gets unwillingly hurt is none of my business, and aside from the fact of being romantically attracted to members of their own gender there is no difference between gay and straight people. Well, except maybe for an enhanced fashion sense and more open minds, but I digress. ;-) Will the knowledge that the Obi-Wan Kenobi of this generation is actually gay help with future acceptance, hinder it, or have no effect. Does the unseen love life of a fictional character have any bearing on the real world? And should the producers of the movies really push to get Ian McKellen to play the part now? I honestly haven't figured out what my opinion on this is. I think that, should the children who love the Harry Potter books have this explained to them, it might just lead to a greater future tolerance, but then again if the people explaining do so in a bigoted, insensitive fashion it could do more harm than good. Or, since the books show absolutely no romantic inclinations whatsoever on Dumbledore's part, is this a non-issue. Suppose a long-lost Gene Roddenberry diary were found in which he stated that Spock was actually gay, would there be any repercussions beyond the fan-fic universe? I just don't know.

Whaddyou think?

Marius

Saturday, October 20, 2007

History Repeats



Sherman, set the Wayback machine for a little under 40 years ago. Young little Marius sees the kitty on top of the dishwasher. Dumb little Marius grabs kitty. Kitty, afraid she's falling, extends her landing gear. Little Marius' eye, meet Tai's claw. Much wailing and blood; parents panic; race to ER; 'did we just blast through a stop si...CRASH!!'

Ultimately all was ok. The cat only scratched my eyelid, and I don't think anyone was hurt in the wreck. I wore a patch for a few days and had to endure some eye drops. Unfortunately Tai ended up getting declawed despite her innocence in the whole affair.

Fast forward to yesterday. The Kitties-O-The-Apocalypse are tearing around the house, doing their best to rearrange the walls, and maybe the ceiling, when up gets the Child-O-The-Apocalypse. COA sees KOAs and decides to get some fuzzy loving. Despite having been warned many, many times not to mess with the felines when they are playful I suddenly hear the all-too familiar siren of pain. As usual she won't say what's wrong, and since she reacts exactly the same whether she has stubbed her toe or removed a limb I can't tell if I need to worry or not. Finally she says that the cat scratched her eye. RED ALERT!! I get her to take her hand away and see blood inside her eye. PANIC!! HONEY, GET UP! WE HAVE TO GO TO THE EMERGENCY ROOM!!! We start racing around to get some clothes on(did I mention it was 6:30am?) when a trickle of rational thought, and long dimmed memories seep into my consciousness. I have the child step under the light and pry her eye open again. No more blood, just clear tears, and now I can see that the cat only got her eyelid. So we relax and decide that we'll put a cool compress on it, and take her to the doctor once they open. We lay her down with a wet washcloth and within 5 minutes she's refusing to stay put and wanting to play. We ultimately decide that the doctor is not needed, and by lunchtime she's acting like nothing ever happened.

The moral of the story is that we can learn from history. Oh, and keep your face away from playful cats.

Hasta,
Marius

I Don't Get It



Every now and then I read a story about some one's dead relative's grave being vandalized, or desecrated, or whatever. Inevitably words like 'tragedy', 'unthinkable', 'traumatic', and various other apocalyptic adjectives get bandied about. Now, I can understand being upset, angry, even outraged, but traumatized? Why do people put so much importance on corpses? I remember when I was but a pup my mom would take my brother and me to visit my great-grandmother's grave. I never even realized that the big stone had anything to do with Granny Lee. I remember looking out at the mountains and wondering if that's where she was supposed to be. The grave itself never registered as significant to me. My father's ashes are somewhere in Massachusetts, I think, but to go visit them is in no way appealing to me. And yet I recall a tale told to my by a friend who had spent some time as a grave digger. It seems a family with more money than brains decided that, after a year in the ground, Uncle needed a new coffin. The cemetery staff had to disinter the poor sod and dump his reeking bones into the new box. They had to burn their clothes after this totally pointless exercise. Can any of you explain this bizarre infatuation people have with the dead? To me a corpse is a corpse. When I die I really couldn't care less what happens to my body. I would hope that my wife goes for the least expensive disposal option so she can enjoy most of the insurance money.

So what do you think? Am I way off base here? Is there really a good reason to spend thousands on maintenance for the dead? Oh, and one other thing that occurred to me, burial plots are becoming scarcer and scarcer as land vanishes under shopping malls and condos, so why not start burying people vertically? Couldn't you just imagine Happy Acres Filing Cabinet Cemetery?

hee hee

Yup, Halloween is fast approaching.

Marius the Macabre

Friday, October 19, 2007

All By Myself...



Yesterday the lovely and talented Monkey put forth an interesting idea. While reassuring us that she adores her husband, she has oft times dreamt that the perfect wedded living arrangement would be to own a duplex in which each of them would occupy half the house, with frequent visits to the other side. This in no way diminishes her love for, or enjoyment of, living with her spouse, but would allow her some of the freedoms we tend to give up once we cohabit. I have many times harbored similar desires. Maybe not for an entire separate house, but I would love to have one room that was just mine to do with as I please and whose door, if closed, would be inviolate to all but the direst of emergencies...or the dinner bell. Here in Castle Marius, where we have but the two bedrooms and the one loo, if the heat generated by the friction of our daily lives grows too great, one's only recourse is to quit the premises. Oh to have a fortress, or even just a den, of solitude. I had always chalked these desires up to having gotten married so late in life, but now I wonder. Do any of you harbor such feelings?

Oh, and yesterday I discovered that the piping going into our water heater is leaking. I hope the landlords are swift in the repair.

See ya,
Marius

Thursday, October 18, 2007

And The Cast Is:



All the major players for the new Star Trek movie are cast. They are:

Kirk-Chris Pine
Spock-Zachary Quinto
McCoy-Karl Urban
Scotty-Simon Pegg
Sulu-John Cho
Uhura-Zoƫ Saldana
Chekov- Anton Yelchin
Nero(bad guy)-Eric Bana
And both William Shatner and Leonard Nimoy will appear as Kirk and Spock. Now the only part left to cast is Chris Pike. Now the only thing we don't know is what the story will be. But fear not, as soon as I hear anything I'll post it right away.

Adieu for now,
Marius

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

I Love It When You Talk Nerdy



So I was thinking this morning about something so desperately nerdilicious that I had to share it here. Who, in your opinion, was the best Klingon in any Star Trek TV show or movie? I don't want to hem you in by defining 'best', I leave that up to you. The only limitation I ask is that we stick to canon; no novel or video game references. Only characters that appeared on screen. I'll go first.

General Martok, played by J.G. Hertzler on DS9, was the archetypal Klingon warrior. Fierce, honorable, and with a laugh that would rattle the cups of blood wine half a battle cruiser away. I loved watching him knock Worf off of his 'Klingoner-than-thou' high horse almost as much as I loved Hertzler's absolute commitment to the role. While there have been many great performances by other actors, Martok was, to me, the ultimate portrayal.

In other geek news, John Cho(Harold from 'Harold and Kumar go to White Castle') has been cast as the young Sulu in J.J. Abrams' upcoming Star Trek movie, and Simon Pegg('Shaun of the Dead' and 'Hot Fuzz') will play Montgomery Scott. Kinda hard to imagine Scotty killing a zombie with a cricket bat... And Eric Bana, who is probably still trying to forget 'Hulk' will be the villain, Nero. There are many rumors flying about as to who will play Jim Kirk, but nothing is final yet.

End transmission.

Marius the Uber-Dork

A New Survival Technique


This is an actual headline from Yahoo UK: Woman beats off Great White shark

Sunday, October 14, 2007

Woot!!



Buccaneers: 13

Titans: 10


And there was much rejoicing.

FSM at MSU




The Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster is currently the second largest religious organization at Missouri State. Watch the news report here.

And for those of you new to his Noodely Goodness, go here.

Friday, October 12, 2007

New Feature


Hi, Folks,
Occasionally I will post a comic strip that I find particularly amusing in the hope that you all will find it amusing as well. So now I've posted a list of links to the various web comics and funny sites I visit daily. It's on the left below the links section. Some of them you need to go back in the archives to the beginning to follow the story, but they are worth the read. I hope you relish them as much as I.

Peace,
Marius

Tuesday, October 09, 2007

How Obscure Can You Get?



For some reason two random synapses fired in just the right way to make me think of one of the most obscure shows from my childhood: Korg 70000 BC. It was about a family of cavemen, but that is all I remember about it. Although I seem to remember that my brother liked it more than I did, and we used to argue about watching that versus whatever show I wanted to watch at that time.(yeah, we only had the one color tv at the time...this was prehistory afterall)

What's the most obscure show you can remember?

Sunday, October 07, 2007

And Now...And Elven Interlude




This is from Irregular Webcomic, an online strip I've become rather fond of. Click on the picture to enbiggen it.

Geek Speak(updated)



Let's talk about the state of Science Fiction television, shall we? There's a brand new bionic woman out there. It premiered last week, and my wife and I eagerly awaited the debut. We even watched it in real time, rather than let the DVR record it so we could zip through the commercials. If The X-Files and Battlestar Galactica had a secret love child, it would be The Bionic Woman. The new Jaime Sommers is a bartender who lives with her resentment-filled teenage sister, and is filled with insecurities and misery. Her boyfriend is a doctor who is pioneering bionics for a shadowy government agency. After the inevitable, nowadays, sibling bickering and romantic proposal Jaime is nearly killed in a car wreck, and the boyfriend 'fixes' her, without his bosses' approval, or even knowledge. Jaime wakes up, and thanks to neural implants is able to instantly use her new hardware(although they seem to be able to do extensive brain surgery without disturbing a single hair on her head) and she immediately meets her arch enemy...bionic woman mark 1.(Galactica's Katee Sackhoff) They fight, neither wins, and we leave our formerly wilting flower bartender all pissed off and filled with warrior badness.

What did I think? Meh. We have the second episode on the DVR, and I haven't had the motivation to watch it. I guess I'm already tired of the 'let's modernize something from 20 years ago' path Hollywood is taking. I loved The Six Million Dollar Man, and I remember watching The Bionic Woman, but I can't remember how I felt about it. As soon as the first episode began, and the two sisters began fighting, I thought "Ah, shit." The grunginess and angst of Galactica works for that show because it makes sense. Humanity on the run from a genocidal enemy that nearly destroyed the entire species is certainly fertile ground for everyone to be miserable. And it didn't start that way. We saw most of the cast being normal, well adjusted people before the Cylon attack. Bionic Woman went emo right out of the gate. It seems that disaffected, dysfunctional, angry women are the demo that the producers are aiming for, but I guess I don't fit that bill. I'll probably watch the second episode tonight, but I find I really don't care either way.

Another new show that has left me kind of cold is Torchwood. It's a spin-off of Doctor Who shown Saturday nights on BBC America. I love the new Doctor Who, but Torchwood has taken one of my least favorite characters from the series and made him the lead of Torchwood. John Barrowman, who plays Captain Jack Harkness, seems to benefit from being an American in England the same way some Brits get a pass over here. He's pretty, with a clear voice and sparkling eyes, but is a TERRIBLE actor. I am not the harshest critic of acting, but this guy is awful! Everyone else in the show is fine...well except the weepy suit-wearing guy...and the lead reminds me of a young English girl I dated once upon a time(hi Squee, if you are reading this)and the premise is groovy enough. Torchwood is a secret organization that monitors and mitigates alien activity on Earth. I like the characters, and the plots are ok, but I just can't stand Barrowman.

On to the good stuff. Stargate: Atlantis premiered last week. We love this show, and it has yet to disappoint. Amanda Tapping(Col. Samantha Carter of Stargate SG-1) has joined the cast, although her character has yet to officially join the crew of Atlantis. Mrs. Marius and I figured that if any of the SG-1 team would make the move to Atlantis it would be Daniel Jackson, but I guess Michael Shanks, who plays Daniel, had other things to do. But so far Carter's presence in the show has been explained quite plausibly. Right now the only thing I'm worried about is Tori Higginson, who plays Dr. Elizabeth Weir, has just had her character nearly killed, and is now a prisoner of some of the big bad guys. Normally this wouldn't be a problem, but Atlantis has a history of not being squeamish about taking out someone whose picture appears during the opening credits. It's actually kinda fun to know that we can't be certain that a major character in grave peril will make it. It keeps things fresh.

And that's the Marius take on the tube right now. Oh, I almost forgot. On November 13th Paramount is releasing the re-mastered original Star Trek episode The Menagerie in High Definition to select movie theaters around the country. I checked the list, expecting to see that the nearest one to me would be Orlando, and lo and behold it's playing about 5 miles away. I am so there!

Ok, that's really it. Peace out, y'all.

Marius

Captain's Log: Supplemental

We just watched the second episode of Bionic Woman. It was better. While it is still very serious, especially compared with the original, they lightened it up a lot. The characters actually smile, and the shadowy governmental agency that built her is becoming more 'the good guys'. I don't know. The jury's still out, but I'm now willing to give it more of a chance.

That is all.

And Now for Something Completely Different




Here's an adorable palette cleanser to prepare you for today's shiny, happy blog to come later.

Marius

Saturday, October 06, 2007

To George W. Bush on The S-Chip Veto(avert your eyes, Zo-Zo)



Dear Mr. President,
F**k you! F**ck you and the horse you rode in on! How dare you claim, after nearly seven years of the most egregious fiscal irresponsibility imaginable, that funding health care for the poorest children in this country is a bad idea! Your pathetic reasoning, that it allows for families making up to $83K a year to receive benefits, and that it takes us one step closer to socialized medicine, is patently ridiculous. The first instance requires a special waiver and specific government approval, which has yet to be given by the way, and the second is just preposterous. When we lived in Louisiana, and my wife was not working, we were able to keep our daughter on the La-Chip program, and all it did was act as any other insurance program. And thank God it was available since we could never have afforded her medication without it. The government never told us what doctor to use. Claiming that expanding S-Chip will lead to socialized medicine is as ludicrous as saying that gay marriage will lead to bestiality. I doubt you and the rest of your silver spoon sucking family have ever had to worry about whether you could afford to get your children in to see a doctor. Well here's a news flash for you, Putz! Even those of us who have jobs can't always afford the costs of health care. Have you ever had to decide between gas for the car, or your kids medication? I seriously doubt it. And while you're sticking it to the middle classes, your big business special interest cronies are lining up for your own brand of socialized, government hand jobs. Nice. As a taxpayer I would much rather see my tax dollars go toward helping a family in Louisiana keep their children healthy, then toward helping Blackwater murder civilians in Iraq, or keeping some Saudi sheik in silver plated cars.

So in summery, Mr. President. F**k you, just like you've f***ed us.

Sincerely,
Marius

Wednesday, October 03, 2007

Katz Pawz



Hai, wee iz Starbuk nd Artimus. R frends at Steel Wool , Sofeea, Purrsee, and Impy, wanted uz to rite sumthink on Mareeuses blog. Wee haf too du thees ferrry urlee soz the big peeplez wont shoo uz away. Missus Mareeus duzent let uz sow lyke Impy and Sofeea and Purrsee gets to, so wee juzt play wit her mejuring taypes. It iz ferry hard to tipe wit ur noze, so we goez slow. Sry. Wee tryed to print up sum dog jokez we fownd on the inturnetz, but the payper got stuk. Starbuk tryed to feex it, but hee iznt ferry gud at feexing theengs. I taked pikchurs of him and hee got mad and chaysed me. lol





Uh oh. Der is a weerd beeping noiz cuming from big peeplez ruum, dat meens they getting up now. We gotz to go.

K, bai.

Luff,
Starbuk and Artimus