Who'd have thunk that a little pink poop monster could teach me so much? For one thing I've learned, not surprisingly I suppose, that the only instinct humans are born with is knowing how to suck. Far too many people never let that one go. I've also learned that just like love and obscenity, disgusting is in the eye of the beholder. (and you may relax as I shall not elaborate on that) But the biggest thing I learned just the other day was something about myself. I used to be what they now call emo. My high school and college notebooks were filled with bad poetry, sappy sketches, and drippy prose about how I'd gladly march into the jaws of death for the young lady that was currently the object of my fancy. But as I've grown older, and less convinced of anything beyond this mortal coil, I find the notion of willingly grappling with the Grim Reaper anything but romantic. Then, the other day on the way home from work, I found myself wondering what I would do in a situation where I could only save Sharon by sacrificing myself, and I realized that I would do so without a moment's hesitation or regret. All those times in the past when I've told people 'I'd die for you' I only thought I meant it. I now know exactly what it feels like to truly mean it. It's a good feeling.
Something else interesting happened last night. We all have reoccurring themes in our dreams, and one of the most disconcerting to me is when some supernatural force has created an invisible barrier that immobilizes me. I know that this is an artifact of the temporary paralysis we experience in our sleep that keeps us from physically acting out our dreams, but it's very unnerving. Last night the culprits were aliens, and it was a staircase that no one could go down. Only this time they took Sharon. And last night, for the first time in my life, I broke through that barrier. Of course as soon as I did that the dream shifted to me being Superman and flying around a city, but the important part is that my feelings for my little girl penetrate into my subconscious so much that even in my dreams they give me strength. It's very cool.
Other than that things have been pretty quiet here in Castle Marius. The school year is over for me, so it's time to start doing things around the house and spending even more time with Sharon.
What's up with you?