Republican Theatre

Who says the Republicans don't support the arts? In the last couple of months we have seen a three act play, staged like a Greek comedy, enacted by two of the most powerful men in the country, and one jester. Pray attend whilst I encapsulize.

Act I: The place-Capitol Hill. The scene-The Floor of Congress. Dramatis Personae: Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist, A Chorus of Senators.

In a stunning move of bravery, selflessness, and pointless combativeness, the Senate Majority leader steps forth to valiently soliloquize that embryonic stem-cell research is, indeed, something that should be pursued. 'Tis a mighty stand, carefully planned to give the illusion of dissention, yet carrying no real political consequence. After a brief, and somewhat lack-luster performance, the chorus harrumphs a bit then breaks for lunch.

Act II, Sc. I: The place-Somewhere in Louisiana. The Scene-an 'impromptu' press conference. Dramatis Personae: Pres. Bush, Michael Brown, Numerous sycophants and toadies, The Press.

Mr. Bush almost emotes as he praises 'Brownie' for doing a 'heck of a job'. Brown looks quite convincing in his embarassment, though soon the oracle prophesies his coming doom.


Act II, Sc. II: The Place-Washington DC. The scene-Another press conference. Dramatis Personae: President Bush.

The Presidents speaks words the world has never heard pass his lips--I take full responsibility. An angry country scratches its collective heads.

Act II, Sc. III: The Place: The Blasted Heath, The scene: Yet another press conference. Dramatis Personae: Michael Chertof, Michael Brown, The Press.

We finally see just what 'I take full responsibility' means as FEMA chair, and sacrificial lamb Michael Brown is sent back to Washington.

Act III: The Place-Congress. The scene-before the investigating committee. Dramatis Personae-Brownie, Numerous Republicans, Two Democrats.

In the denoument of this epic, the embattled sacrifical lamb gets a new asshole torn before the entire country by his former collegues. The illusion of shared responsibility is shattered, and the broken man lashes out at his attackers, trying desperately to emulate his superiors and let the blame roll off of his back, but alas, the Chorus is just too strong, and 'Brownie' falls on his sword. And the president, his hands clean of the blood of the innocent once again, sleeps the sleep of the truly disconnected.

Curtain
Blackout
Finis