Let us discuss the esthetic qualities of the canine scrotum. You go first............................Anyone? No? Well then let us turn to Gregg Miller of Oak Grove, Missouri, IgNoble prize winner and inventor of Neuticles...artificial testicles for dogs. "Neuticles allow your pet to retain his natural look, self esteem and aids in the trauma associated with neutering. With Neuticles -- It's like nothing ever changed!" according to Miller's Web site at http://www.neuticles.com. I know that whenever I see a dog walking away from me my first thought is 'where are that dog's nuts?' The scary part of this story is not that Miller went deep into debt to come up with this earth-shatteringly pointless invention, but that people are buying these things in droves! Here's another quote from his website: 'To date over 100,000 pets Worldwide have been neutered with Neuticles by over 9,000 veterinarians...' Most of the vets quoted state that if it gets folks to neuter their dogs then they are all for it.
Are there really folks out there who won't neuter a dog because they want to see their pet's nutsack intact? And since when is self-esteem an issue for dogs? I'm as quick to anthropomorphise my pets as the next man, but I have never, ever in my life known a dog to give a rat's ass about whether is sack was empty or not. He'll lick it in front of whomever, whenever regardless of it's contents. With all the problems there are in the world do we really need artificial dog testicles, which by the way, come in three different sizes and
firmnesses?
The best part of this story is his explanation of why:
"We feel the removal of a God given body part - leaving a male pet looking unwhole after the traditional form of neutering is not only unethical but unnatural. With Neuticles it's like nothing ever changed."
It's nice to see that in a world afflicted with war, famine, pestilence, and a Back Street Boys reunion that someone is devoting the needed funds and time to vital projects such as this. Now if only someone would invent an artificial brain for our president.
Marius
2 comments:
Marius: Your Quote;
"I know that whenever I see a dog walking away from me my first thought is 'where are that dog's nuts?'"
It scares me how much we think alike.I just can't keep my eyes off them. It's hypnotic, really.
I do think that GWB could use with a replacement set of testies (his current ones are named Dick and Karl)
Only his weren't God given....they came from way down below.
K
Did you know that a scrotum without a penis is really sad looking?
Remind me to tell you the story about when Yari crashed on the top tube of his mountain bike...
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