Friday, November 09, 2007
Ok, you wanted to see it, and your wish is my command. I give you...the breast post.
Let me broach this tender topic by stating that, certain girlfriends past notwithstanding(shut up, Rico), I have never been that into large breasts. While physical attributes have rarely been a major starting point to any of my relationships, when I have my choice I prefer a slim woman with a smaller bustline. My wife is the perfect shape for me. I also spend a great deal of time pondering the underlying motivations behind many of my male reactions to things. I have come up with explanations for smiling, infidelity, and the ever popular 'why do guys dig lesbians' questions, but this one has me baffled. There is a young lady in one of my classes, and allow me to restate that I am teaching college now-no minors any more, who is rather gifted in the mamary department. Normally this would not phase me except that she seems to enjoy displaying her bounty by wearing spaghetti strapped tank tops to class. She also is not in the least bit shy about talking about them. So what I can't figure out is that, despite my aforementioned disinclination toward cups that runneth over, I have to constantly wrestle with my eyes to keep them north of her collar bones. It's almost as if that little lizard in my brainstem is screaming 'BOOOOOOOOOOOOOBS!!!!!!' and trying to grab the controls. It reminded me of a conversation I had with one of my squadron mates when I was in the Air Force. One of our supervisors was a woman who was in her early fifties and was, to use a generous term, plain. Actually mannish would be more apt. She was also a bit overweight, with a 'full figure'. I liked her a lot, and she was one of my favorite sargeants to work with, but I never had the slightest sexual thought about her. Then one night after she had left the room my buddy turned to me and said 'Man, whenever I see her all I can do is stare at those boobs.' I was stunned into a rare silence. He couldn't care less what the rest of her looked like, all he saw was a large pair of boobs.
One of our local radio stations has a contest every year called Jingle Jugs where they give away 12 breast augmentation surgeries, and I am stunned at the flood of entries they get. I just don't understand why bigger is better, even apparantly to my own Neanderthal pig-lizard brain. Any thoughts?