Friday, June 27, 2008
Show Your ID Card To The Border Guard Part III
I am frequently amazed at the escalating levels of stupidity in this country. In Florida, if you've lived here for more than, let's say 30 seconds, you realize that dinosaurs still walk the Earth, or I should say they still float the canals. I'm talking about alligators. Those once-endangered refugees from the linear time flow that are now fairly common in the less developed areas. If you don't live in Florida you may be envisioning some sort of Land of the Lost scenario where we must dash from car to house lest we be set upon and devoured by these fearsome creatures. Nothing could be further from the truth. The alligator is a simple animal, and being exothermic they tend to not use what energy they soak up from the sun unless they have a reasonable expectation of success. In other words the happiest gator is one that just had some hapless critter walk into it's open mouth. That's why they do that whole 'log' shtick. That's why, when you know a canal is 'infested' with alligators, you don't go for a swim at 2am. Seems obvious, right? Not to 18 year old Kasey Edwards. He decided to take a dip in a canal near Lake Okeechobee in the wee small hours of Sunday morning, and provided a tasty snack for an eleven foot long gator: his left arm. He managed to escape the creature by gouging its eyes with his right hand, and friends called 911 quickly enough that he survived. The gator, who did nothing more than what gators do, was caught and killed. Edwards's arm was recovered from the belly of the beast, but could not be reattached. Bad day for both Edwards and the gator. But wait, there's more. This tard not only admitted that he knew that there were over a hundred alligators in that canal, he then went on to blame the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission for not keeping the gator population under control! "It's a problem that needs to be dealt with," Edwards said. "The alligators -- the population needs to be brought down." I have said it on many occasions. 99% of the time that an adult human gets munched by an alligator the human was at fault. And here is a shining example of both stupidity, and a staggering lack of personal responsibility. I really hope that some scumbag lawyer convinces this moron to sue the state. Maybe hearing a judge tell him to STFU will get the message across that he's an idiot. Obviously having his arm torn off didn't do it.
Adios, mis amigos.