Friday, April 15, 2005

Star Wars Episode III: Attack Of The Marketers

Ok, I understand that George Lucas is a genius when it comes to marketing. He had the foresight to keep the marketing rights to Star Wars, a concession that 20th Century Fox later came to regret, at a time when most cinema marketing consisted of the occasional Burger King collectible tumbler set and not much else, but I'm getting really sick of seeing Darth Vader on every other page of every magazine I pick up. I expect to see a glut of toys at K-mart, and the obligatory soft drink and fast food promotions, but Chewbacca as a cell phone ring tone? What next, Mon Mothma on Tampax boxes, Emperor Palpatine for Depends, C-3P0 for WD-40? How much fucking money does Lucas need!? This is the first Star Wars movie I've been psyched about since 1983, and I'm already getting sick of it. The only way this could be any more annoying is if the Industrial Light and Magic wizards were to digitally revive the 'Where's the beef' lady and put her in a commercial with Lando Calrissian hawking tofu burgers. ENOUGH ALREADY!!!!!!

This film promises to make those of us who felt betrayed by the mediocrity of episodes 1 and 2 happy to return to that 'galaxy far, far away', but if I see Lord Vader swiffering the Death Star, or Sand People taking off their bandages to use new Nutragena, I won't be as anxious to make the jump.

Of course, if John Deer wanted to use Jar Jar Binks to demonstrate their new line of wood chippers I might not be so opposed to this marketing blitz.

May the Force Be With You.

Darth Marius


Darth Jennifer said...

I agree with you about the obnoxious amount of exposure, but at the same time they are falling right into the trap. The world will become comfortable with the dark side and over time will begin to trust us and believe in our mission. This is all a part of the evil plan.

It has begun. Still want Florida?

Anonymous said...

My own little ones, who have not yet seen any of the movies due to age restrictions (I being a responsible parent)are curious about all this hype-r-jedi crap. Upon seeing the potato chip display with yoda looking out from planet Lays, They exclaimed."This stuff is everywhere." Truth that.