Thursday, August 18, 2005

The Penis Mightier...

Before you read this edition of The Corner, go here and watch the Crazy Frog video.

Don't worry. We'll wait for you.

dum dum...dum dum du-dum dum dum...dum dum dum du-DUM dum dum...dum dah dum dee dum dee dum dum dum-dum...Ding Ding! (dammit! can't get that music out of my head)

Ok, aside from it being a fun video, with some very well done CGI, I can't get over the number of people who were bugged by the fact that the crazy frog had a little willy. This nation seems to be terrified by the penis. How strange that something so small(in the grand scheme of things, that is) can carry such power. I showed my 7 year old that video this morning, and she loved it, and I did not detect any trauma because the frog had a little winky. As far as I could tell she didn't even notice...and neither did my wife until I mentioned it. I mentioned it because there is a list of reviews of the video, and several people were bothered by the 'little pecker'. I imagine that the animator got sick of anthropomorphic animals roaming around with no clothing, or genitalia. (not that I particularly want to see Wile E. Coyote's package) but what is it about the male member that frightens people so?

There is such a double standard about nudity in this country. Mores about female nudity in entertainment have grown steadily more lax(unless you are at a football game, which we will all know epitomizes family values) over the last couple of decades, but the prohibition on the penis has remained as...pardon me but I must...rigid as ever. Women's naughty bits leap out at us from all corners on billboards, tv commercials, magazine ads, product lables. And while there is a constant background buzz from religious groups about how awful this is, you don't really hear the caterwauling until Mr. Wiggly rears his cyclopian head and puts in an on-screen appearance. Suddenly a PG-13 or R rating becomes NC-17 quicker than you can say vas deference. And if said creature should get overly interested in things along comes the dreaded X. And on stage, if a woman doffs her duds it might get a mention in the review, but if a male thespian drops trou it's all over the trade rags. Why are people so obsessed with 6"-9"(on average)chunk of wrinkly, erectile tissue? If anything, it's the overly agressive jerk who's driving the winky that should be the offensive part.

Of course, there is an esthetic consideration at work. All things being equal a well sculpted nude man is as attractive as a well sculpted nude woman, until you lose the speedo. The flaccid penis is not a thing of beauty, and if your sculpture is aroused...well that puts a whole different spin on things. Women's naughty bits are more esthetically pleasing no matter her frame of mind at the time, or the temperature. (shrinkage, people, shrinkage)

I think it has to do with fear. Men still make most of the rules, and men constantly worry that someone else has a bigger crazy frog. When The Terminator came out I heard more about the fact that Arnie's little terminator was visible for a second than I did the plot, but not from any of my female friends. Only the guys noticed enough to mention it. Personally I was not particularly affected by Arnold's mini-me, though it was as impressive as the rest of him, and it did not change my opinion of the movie. I live a healthy, relatively sane existence despite having seen a penis on screen.

Comments, anyone?



Michael Friedman said...

LOL... two weekends ago I was at the Houston Museum of Natural Science to see a Lord of the Rings movie "stuff" exhibit. It was an awesome exhibit and included a large model of a Cave Troll complete with dangling "it must be cold out" genitals.

For some reason, this got everyone's attention (especially children) and reminded me, oh yeah, our country is founded on puritanically-repressed ideals. This may be the liberal in me ranting, but COME ON. Grow the hell up... we have bodily functions and apendages that are natural, not embarrassing.

I find it ironic how many people end up being dicks about, well, dicks.

Marius said...

"I find it ironic how many people end up being dicks about, well, dicks."

Dammit! I wish I had thought of that line! ;-)