Friday, July 11, 2008

More scream in your coffee, dear?

If you thought you had the market cornered on embarrassing stories, be glad you don't live in New Castle, Indiana. The New Castle police received a 911 call from a 12 year old girl who was awakened from an afternoon nap by the sound of her mother screaming. Thinking quickly the girl summoned the local constabulary to rescue mom. As you have all probably guessed, mom neither needed, nor wanted rescuing...and neither did dad. Unfortunately, regulations being what they are, the responding officers had to file a report, so they put down, "Mom and Daddy were involved in a romantic moment and daughter mistook them as fighting."

At this point I know that at least two of you are chuckling at this story for reasons other than its obvious humor value. Many, many moons ago there existed an apartment in South Florida that came to be known as Squire Hell. It had three bedrooms, one bathroom, and paper-thin walls. The denizens of this dwelling were all male, all in their early twenties, and all squires in the SCA. There was the occasional roommate turn-over, and your humble correspondent lived there for a time. We had a neighbor who, had I known the term at the time, would be the classic MILF. She was at least in her forties, blond, buxom, gorgeous, and sweet as the day is long. She also had a beautiful little girl of nine or ten years(I think, she might have been older), and we delighted in helping the ladies out whenever we could. One of the Squires, I'll call him P, had a girlfriend at this time who was, oh how to put this delicately, very enthusiastic about P and the things they did in private. Now I say private only in the sense that they were not visible, but pretty much the entire neighborhood knew when she was having a good time. We had all spoken to P about this, and he swore that he tried to get her to be more quiet but to no avail. Then one evening our lovely neighbor came to us with a tale. That day at work she had received a frantic call from her daughter. The girl heard screaming coming from our apartment and was afraid. When asked to describe the screaming, she said, "ahh, ahh, ahh, ahh!" Struggling to keep from laughing, our neighbor assured her daughter that it was ok, and that they were just playing a game.

Ah, memories. :-)



Turtle said...

Thanks for the flood of memories...

I still recall one lazy weekend afternoon when P and Screamer were having a session, and the neighbors next door (the next duplex over, not MILF) were also "playing". I was sitting in the living room, trying to ignore the "stereo" and channel chasing, when I happened upon an old Michael J Fox movie (I think it was "Secret of my Success"). Coincidence had it that it was a scene in which his over-enthusiastic neighbors were having a go, as he lay in bed trying to drown out the noise... I was rolling on the floor.

celebhith said...

Sh*t! I can't even remember how to make all that screaming occur!