By a Whisker!

Ok, I've grown bored with my appearance, so I need your help in deciding which change, if any, is best. Prithee comment on whether you think I look best with no beard, a VanDyke, or the full beard. The moustache is non-negotiable. ;-)

Oh, and one other thing...GO BUCS!!!!!!!

Back to the Ivory Tower(or The Shoe of Damoclese)

Hearken, my children, to a tale of wonder and intrigue and abject poverty. The principal player in this little drama is none other than your devoted scribe, Marius. You may recall that last year I made a tragic, if understandable, vocational error and joined the hallowed ranks of that much beleaguered and abused canon...the high school teachers. Oh how quickly did I realize that though I had thought to have tasted the very fires of Hell here on Earth, I had not the slightest inkling of what that truly meant. I learned that not only are high school teachers underpaid and overworked, those that can actually do the job are some of the strongest humans on Earth. What followed was a tale of woe and misery that has been duly chronicled herein, and I shall not revisit it anon. Follow me, then, in your thoughts, to a time some three months ago when I learned of a job at Eckerd College, a small but lovely private school nestled up against the Gulf of Mexico in St. Petersburg. Travelled I there, where with many an interview and electronic correspondence did I enter into a pact with they who teach the ancient art of Theatre, and did we all agree that I should be the one to do that voodoo that I do with some degree of facility. Yet no great venture is begun without some anguish, and tho all to whom I spoke avowed that they were sure that my employment would begin on July 1, thereby only requiring one month's labor elsewhere, it turned out that, upon my arrival that warm Summer's day, that September 1 was to be the actual day of beginning. "Oh cruel vagaries of fate!", quoth I, and a phone call did I make to the place of uniform purveyance where I had labored that previous month, and begged I for another go. Spread they the arms of welcoming, and thus did I spend the time in the far South. Alas, though my benefactors were not niggardly with my pay, it was still only barely sufficient, and the Summer was spent in relative isolation so as to spend as little as possible. Bullets were bitten, and belts cinched, and at long last the dawn of the ninth month drew nigh. The final journey home was taken, and a joyful reunion with the denizens of Castle Marius was enjoyed.

Labor Day. A time of rest for nearly the entire country, yet 'twas the first day of work for Yours Truly. I awoke early(thanks to Starbuck) and readied myself. The drive is long, by commuting standards, but is fortunately 99% freeway, and I get to go over the Sunshine Skyway bridge(behold below) both ways, which is of itself a coolness:



Upon my arrival at the college, I beheld a campus of quiet beauty and calmness. The grounds are permeated with lagoons and copses, and many examples of the local flora and fauna. There was also a strange preponderance of yellow bicycles scattered about. I reached the theatre offices, and went in. I was greeted warmly and with much hopefulness by my colleagues, and commenced to settle in. I spent most of that first day exploring. My office, and the scene shop, were in a state of disarray, so I shall not show them to you just yet, and you have already seen the outside of the theatre, but allow me to show you the lobby and surrounding environs.



As you can see, the landscape is very much at play there. The photo below is just outside the theatre, and could easily have come from any tropical paradise movie, or maybe Gilligan's Island.




My colleagues are warm, and wonderful people, and though the students seem a bit wary, they are starting to warm up to the stranger in their midst. I am finding that my predecessor, though not disliked, was somewhat aloof to the students and other faculty. I shall endeavor to change that perception. Yesterday was our first departmental meeting, although there are no 'departments' there are collegia. The Theatre program is part of the Creative Arts collegium, and I met nearly all of them yesterday at a meeting that began with a feast of Greek yummies, and a chocolate cake that nearly sent me into a diabetic coma. It was then that I realized I was still mentally clenched, waiting for the other shoe to drop. Everyone is so nice, and the job seems to be very laid back, yet my mind kept searching the vacuum for something, anything, to rail against. Apathetic administration? Nope, they support the program. Lazy students? No, they are enthusiastic and energetic. Stand-offish colleagues? Nope, they are welcoming and thank me profusely for the smallest task accomplished. Ah! Got it! Soon they will give me my black robes for the monthly Midnight Shabbat and Baby Eating orgy. Nope. I asked. No baby eating.

So now I am starting to relax. Tomorrow is the first payday, and we can finally breath a little easier. My students and I have made great strides in cleaning up the neglect of centuries, and soon I shall post before and after shots herein.

And now the sunrise brings with it promise again, and Monday morning is no longer a cause for sadness. I am back where I belong, where I can do my job and enjoy it again, and I can dare to hope that maybe, this time, I won't be looking for another gig next year.

And there was much rejoicing.

Peace, my friends.

Marius

Placeholder

Ok, I know I promised a blog about the new job, but I had to reformat the computer this weekend, then I gave blood, and then both Miami and Tampa Bay forgot how to play football, and so I just never got it done. But here's a quick glimpse. This is the main theatre. I'll do more tonight or tomorrow. I promise.

Marius

Cripple Fight!

There's less than 9 minutes left in the Miami Dolphins/Washington Redskins game, and I must say that none of the other teams really has much to fear from these two. Miami is the underdog in this game, but that's kind of like saying that Steven Hawking would be the underdog in an arm wrestling match against Larry Flynt.

This is just sad.

Nerd Test

I haven't posted one of these in a while, so without further ado I give you, lovingly swiped from Loki, The Nerd Test.

How To Properly Pack Your TravelCat(tm)

Raindrops on Roses...

Last week I was answering one of those ubiquitous online surveys, and one of the questions was 'do you have anything unique in your room'. I looked about me and saw that I have many, many things that are, if not unique, are at least unusual. Then I thought I might share some of them with you. So here is a photo essay of the groovy stuff with which we surround ourselves here at Castle Marius. And the grooviest part of all is that each and every one of these things was given to me by some of my dearest friends. Enjoy.













And, of course:

A Laurel...and Hearty Handshake

When I first started using the intertubes waaaaaay back in 1996 or '97 the first thing I did was try to track down long lost friends. Alas, at the time the web had not become as pervasive as it is now, and I had little luck. Nowadays, however, the pendulum is swinging back the other way, and I have had several happy, if electronic, reunions. And one of the most recent, and happiest, is the return of one of my dearest friends from days past. She is a newcomer to the corner, and I would like to bid K a fond welcome. Some of you may remember back in the early '80's I took as my page(in the SCA) a skinny young waif with a fiery temperament and a predilection for sheep. She was a tender 15 at the time, and some of you gave me no small ration of poop for 'robbing the cradle', though there was never any funny business twixt K and me. My goal was always to watch out for her, and train her in the ways of the Force. Well, the lass is all growed up now, and has been both an Army ordinance disposal, uh, person?(sorry, dear. I don't know what to call that position.)and a police officer. So I don't imagine she needs much in the way of watching out for, but I am so thrilled to have her back in my life. She lives quite far away, alas, but we hope to meet in person before too long. Anyway, welcome to The Corner, K. I hope you visit often.

I will be leaving to start my new job in about an hour, so there will be a full report this evening. Stay tuned! :-)

Peace,
Marius

Mine Tragedy:Update

Ok, I was a bit hasty in my report about the two girls that fell into the mine shaft. Their father was with them, but he was riding ahead of them on a dirt bike so didn't see them fall into the hole. The search took twelve hours, but people were looking for them all night. And apparantly that area of the country is riddled with old abandoned mine shafts. I still think that he should have been behind the girls so he could keep an eye on them, but then again it's really impossible to judge the situation from this chair. It's a terrible tragedy, but it sounds like it is yet another accident that probably couldn't have been prevented.

Mea culpa.

Marius

And Now for Something Completely Different...

Good night, and sweet dreams.

Marius

You Have Got To Be Kidding Me

I just read a tragic story out of Arizona. Two girls, 13 and 10, disappeared while riding an ATV early Saturday evening, and were found in an abandoned mine shaft 12 hours later. The 10-year-old was seriously injured and the older girl was dead. Several angry thoughts leaped to my mind as I read this. First, what the hell is up with mines lately? Utah, China, Arizona? I somehow feel like we are a foreign object that the Earth is rejecting. Secondly how can a mineshaft be left open so people can fall into it? Finally, and most importantly, what sort of moron parent lets a 13-year-old and a 10-year-old ride an ATV unsupervised!? I'm thinking about getting the phrase,'If you aren't outraged,you aren't paying attention' tattooed on my forehead.

Sweet dreams, kiddies.

Geez!!
Marius

Holy Sh*t!!

Here's a story from News Of The Weird.

A fiery auto crash in July near Augusta, Ga., had killed the driver and would likely kill the passenger, too, if the fire were not immediately smothered. Firefighters were still minutes away, but passing by was a pump truck from a local plumbing company, whose quick-thinking driver extinguished the flames with 1,500 gallons of raw sewage from a septic tank-cleaning job he had just finished. [WJBF-TV (Augusta), 7-9-07]

On its own this is a pretty groovy, if bizarre tale, but I have to wonder if 'quick-thinking' is really an apt description of the driver. Imagine your job is to pump sewage out of various receptacles, drive it to a storage facility, and then dump it there. There probably isn't a lot of thinking to do once the initial 'don't put your finger in your mouth if you hit it with the pipe wrench' cogitation is done. So you're driving along with a truck full of shit day in and day out, and you start to wonder just how to put a positive spin on your life. It doesn't seem too far of a stretch to imagine that the driver pictured putting out a car fire with his load, and thus becoming a hero, at least once or twice a day. This doesn't diminish the fact that he saved some one's life, but it does give one pause.

Happy Sunday, y'all.

Marius

Home

Great googley moogely! What a long strange trip it's been. But I am finally home. First I want to say that despite all my bitching, my time at Uniform Sales,Inc. was the grooviest non-theatre job I've ever had. My coworkers are wonderful people whom I now call friends, and while I have always loved and respected R&G, I am now closer to them than ever, which is all good. And, should any of you need embroidered or silk-screened shirts, or cook wear, or scrubs just let me know and I'll put you in touch with them. They do great work, and can usually beat any other company's prices.

Now the news. Senator Craig: I honestly don't have an opinion on this one. I've read the transcript of his interview with the police that day, and while it certainly sounds suspicious, there is a he said/he said aspect to this that leaves a lot to the imagination. While I applaud any Washington official showing his true colors, and pleading guilty just so you can catch your flight is not in the least bit plausible, I don't know how to call this one. His career is over, but since I had not heard of him before this I really don't care.

Utah mine: The officials at the Crandall Canyon mine have ended their search for the six trapped miners. They drilled seven holes, lost three more men in a secondary collapse, and had to abandon a robotic camera fifty feet below ground when it got caught in mud and debris. They are saying they have done everything they could, and it is time to let it go. I truly hope that it doesn't come out that this tragedy was anything other than a terrible accident, but if there are charges to be brought let's hope it happens quickly.

And that's all I have to say right now. It is my intention to emulate the above pictured feline today and do as little as possible. I start work on Monday at Eckerd College (yeah, private schools can ignore holidays if they wish) and I have about two months worth of loafing to squeeze into two days. ;-)


Thanks to all of you for putting up with my sparcity of posts, and whininess in general.

Hugs,
Marius

Alien vs Predator: Requiem

I just watched the trailer for the movie. It's more violent than the entire AvP 1! Watch at your own risk.

Alien v Predator

Anyone Got Any Cheese?

So last Thursday I had to leave the uniform sales store after work and drive up here to Tampa so I could attend a meeting at the college on Friday. I spent the weekend at home, and at 6am Monday drove back to the store. Then, Tuesday night after work I drove back up here for an all day meeting today. Tomorrow morning I drive back to the store to work Thursday and Friday, and then I drive back up here after work so Mrs. Marius can work a double on Saturday at the sports bar-and-grill where she has finally begun working. Then I start at the college Monday morning. Summer vacation my ass!

I know, bitch, bitch, bitch.

Marius the Venting

And Another One Gone, And Another One Gone...

You know, if that idiot president would just appoint people qualified to do the jobs he puts them in, these things just wouldn't happen. Attorney General Alberto Gonzales resigned today. I suppose one could find something to admire in how long he held on, but then again there are animals that, once latched on to an enemy, must be killed to get them to release. So, tenacity does not necessarily equal courage. So long, Alberto. Don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out.

And now, to cleanse the pallette, I give you some unbearably cute hedgehog babies.





If you want to read the story of how these babies are treating a cleaning brush like their mother, go here.

Idiot II: Darwin's Revenge

Now if only we could get our president to take his cell phone for a walk.

From KSAT, San Antonio.

Texting Man Avoids One Train, Struck By Another

CINCINNATI -- A man sending a text message avoided being hit by a train going in one direction only to be struck by another train, reported WLWT-TV in Cincinnati.

Witnesses told police the man was looking down at his cell phone as he crossed some railroad tracks around 9 a.m. in Elmwood Place.

Witnesses said the man waited for a southbound train to pass, put his head down and started walking across the tracks. The man apparently did not see or hear a northbound train as it approached, witnesses said.

"It's one of those things, you kind of see it coming, but you don't think it's going to happen like that, and the way he was walking and stuff, and I saw that train closing in, I honestly thought he had made it," said witness Mike Billups.

The victim, whose name has not been released, was taken to University Hospital with undisclosed injuries.

Have Another 'Brownie', Mr. President?

Will no one impeach this moron president before he kills more people? For the last two weeks I've been sympathizing with both the victims and the owners of the Crandall Canyon Mine tragedy. I thought that the officials in charge knew what they were doing, and were doing everything they could, and that the whole thing was just a terrible, unfortunate, unpreventable accident. Now, it seems, the ghost of FEMA past is raising its ugly head again. There is a position in the federal government called the Mine and Health Safety Administrator, and the person in that position is Richard Stickler. Richard Stickler had twice been refused the position by Congress, even during the Republican lead years, due to his record as a mining exec. His safety record is riddled with fatalities and "...an incident rate that was often twice the national average." So, rather than search for someone who could actually do the job right, The Shrub Prince slipped Stickler into the job as a recess appointment. You might remember that little presidential loophole when Congress told Bush no to John Bolton as UN Ambassador, then Bush appointed him anyway while Congress was on vacation. And that went just swimmingly, didn't it?

So, even though federal law requires the mine administration to handle all communication in such cases, the feds sat on their hands for two days while Bob Murray held numerous press conferences where he spewed vitriol at scientists, bile at the press, and false hopes at the families of the victims.

Heckuva job, Bobby...and you too, Mr. President.

Marius

It's Alive!!!!

My cell phone lives...and there was much rejoicing.


Marius the Greatly Relieved

Imadoofus!

So last night, after a rather nasty encounter with some canine created 'debris' I needed to rinse off the shorts I was wearing. So I tossed them in the shower, turned on the water, and let them get good and wet. I picked them up, and began to scrub out the offending material when I felt, with a sickening realization, the unmistakeable shape of my cell phone in the pocket. I did what I was supposed to, and removed the battery and left it open all night. Alas, it was not working this morning, so I must to Radio Shack to find the tiniest of screwdrivers so I can more fully open the thing to let it dry out. So if you can't get in touch with me this weekend, I'm not being standoffish, my phone is on the clothesline.

D'oh!

Marius the Dumbass

Ahhh, that's better.

Good morning, Dr. Floyd. I'm feeling much better now.

;-)

Pity Party

I'm homesick. I miss my wife. I miss my cats. I miss my bed, and my stuff, and doing theatre, and I'm just generally bummed and depressed.

Just fyi.

Kisses,
Marius the Wallowing

Exit: The Emperor

Scene: On the bridge of the Imperial Star Destroyer The Decider. A nervous communications officer approaches the dark clad figure gazing out at the stars.

"M-my Lord?"

"What is it, Private?"

"Um, it's Ensign, sir. This is a naval vessel."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever. Whadya want?"

"It's the Emperor, sir. He commands you to contact him."

"Uh, right now?"

"Yes, sir."

"Shoot, I was just fixin to start my next vacation! Well, steer the ship outta this asterisk shower so's I can get a good signal."

"Um..."

"Is there a problem, Lieutenant?"

"Uh...that's...um, I mean no sir, no problem."

The great ship rises gracefully out of the asteroid field and levels off. In the Dark Lord's inner sanctum we find him outside the looming meditation pod/communications center/playstation.

"Now," he thinks out loud, "how do I get this darned thing open? Uh, Open Sesame! No, um, Abra Cadabra! Shoot! Oh, wait, now I rember." With that, he claps his hands twice and the massive top half of the chamber lifts off, exposing the faux leather Easy Boy that is the Dark Lord's sanctuary. He climbs into the chair, and punches the buttons on his dark remote.

"Herro, Fong's Take Out! E'ryting ready in fi-teen minute or it free. What you want?"

"Dang!" he severs the connection, and dials again. The pasty face and sunken eyes of The Emperor appear on the plasma screen before him. He grins. It only took two tries this time. He bows as low as he can while still reclining, and speaks.

"What is thy building, my mustard?"

The Emperor rolls his eyes. "I thought I told you to knock off the fancy talk. You suck at it!"

"Yes, my mas...um, I mean yeah, ok. Whaddya want?"

"Darth Goofus, you have served me adequately for the last 6 years. Your triumphs have been my triumphs, and your failures have been...your failures. But now the time has come for you to govern on your own."

"But Master, you know I'm not ready for that. How will I know what to say? Or when to say it? Or even how to make it be said rightly?

"You will still have the attack droid, Cheney, and the Dark Jedi, Gonzales."

"But Cheney scares the bejeezus out of me, and Darth Alberto's amnesia gets worse every day."

"These are, to coin a phrase, thy problems now. Work it out, Idiot Apprentice."

"Well, there is always Princess Condi. She'll stick by me."

Suddenly a burst of static obscures the screen. Darth Goofus bangs the remote uselessly on the padded arm of his chair, when just as suddenly the image resolves. The Emperor now appears bedecked in what appears to be sports attire, with a baseball cap reversed on his head. Around his neck hangs a large golden medallion depicting the Death Star, and next to him with her arm around his waist and wearing a metal bikini is Princess Condi. The Emperor speaks.

"Yeah, about Condi. She's going with me."

"But...but...but..."

"Nice motorboat impression, foo!"

"But, will I ever see you again?"

"True, dat, Homey. But me and the Condi Ho gots to get moving."

"Where will you go, my Master?"

"Where ever I wants. And don't call me that no more. From now on you call me...MC Rove, bitch!"

As the screen darkens, a plaintive wail echoes in the metal corridors of The Decider, and none who hear it can repress a giggle.

Fade to black.

Blue Oyster Cult

If you know who BOC are, you'll dig this. If you don't, then watch this and you'll understand why I've been a fan since 1981.

This About Sums It Up

You Say You Want a Revolution...

A few years ago I had a debate with my friend Jenn over what it would take to revolutionize the world. What sort of paradigm shift would be necessary to completely rework the fabric of human interaction. Being an MBA she argued along economic lines, whereas I went for a more fundamental approach. It seems to me that the primary driving force of nearly all human endeavors involves the production, distribution, and use of energy. Aside from artificial markets like diamonds or greeting cards, the most lucrative fields involve the procurement and production of energy, ie electrical and locomotive forces. This had been long percolating in the back of my mind as a somewhat different thought experiment as I tried to figure out what one factor of the Star Trek universe was fundamentally different from our own world. Then it dawned on me. It wasn't the technology, it was the readily available terawatts of power that everyone in the Star Trek universe could access. On a very basic level most of the technology in Star Trek is feasible, but most require more energy than can be reasonably generated. (although that nasty little Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle makes transporters highly unlikely) So it seems to me that a clean, renewable, and readily available energy source would completely re-weave the fabric of human existence. Once the quest for control over energy was moot, what loftier ideals could be pursued with equal vigor?

Of course, I don't have any idea what that source might be, but this is just a thought experiment, not a model for reality. Tell me what you think. What ways do you imagine the world could be changed for the better?

Hasta,
Marius

Whaddya Think?

Ok, I have finally decided to try to get out into the higher reaches of the blogosphere with a more topical blog. I have a video blog idea that someday I'll start, but hardware is the problem with that, but until then I am trying to choose between two themes. One is to be called something like 'Moderate Majority' or something along those lines, and it would be a political blog attempting to motivate those of us who populate the vast, ignored ideological areas between the cacophony of the left and right extremists. The other idea, whose title eludes me for the nonce, would be somewhat akin to Mythbusters, wherein I would assail 'common wisdom' and attempt to debunk the plethora of 'they say' misinformation out there.

So, whaddya think? Good idea? Bad idea? Which sounds the most interesting to you? And do you have a better idea for a title? I won't be shutting down The Corner, but I'd like to see if I can get the elephant to hear me.

Grammatical Hypocrisy

During my brief tenure as a high school teacher I tried to instill some modicum of empathy in my students, with varying degrees of disastrous failure, by insisting that they not use two popular words in a pejorative manner. Those words were 'Gay' and 'Retarded'. We went around and around about this, with some of them trying to find loopholes and others just refusing to comply, but some of them actually seemed to understand why it is wrong to use those words as blanket descriptors of that which is undesirable. Especially the day we had a guest lighting designer who is a rather butch lesbian, and one of my little geniuses said something was gay in front of her, and a chill fell over the room as she gave him a look that told him he was tap dancing in a mine field. She very quietly said, 'I beg your pardon?' He wisely backpedalled, and she let it go, but I felt vindicated that one of my kids, at least, might finally have gotten the message, even if it was at the risk of his physical well being.

Now here's the reason for my little confessional here. I think one of the funniest insults is 'retard', and it's lesser used diminutive 'tard'. There is a wonderful show on the Cartoon Network's Adult Swim called Robot Chicken, and the other day I was watching an episode where they were lampooning nature documentaries. It was a three part segment, titled 1. The Mongoose: Nature's Assassin. 2. They Hyena: Nature's A##hole. And 3. The Lemming: Nature's Retard. Last night, as I was trying to go to sleep I kept thinking about the voice-over to the third one, done by a very serious sounding, movie-trailer type bass voice, and I couldn't help but laugh again. Bless me, father.

What about you? Are there any words that you publicly decry, but secretly love?

And yes, it is ungodly early in the morning, so if this post makes little to know sense, mea culpa.

Marius the Undercaffeinated.

The Definition of Sunday

Harry Potter--No Spoilers, I Promise

I just finished Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. I loved it! I'll not dicuss it until all who are reading, or will read it have cleared me to do so, but I will say that it is a very satisfying end to the series. So, if you are in the midst, or about to start, let me know when you are done so I can give my full opinion.

Marius

The End Of The World is Nigh!

Better check those seven seals and watch the sky for angels with bowls, Dick Cheney admitted yesterday that he was wrong about the Iraqi insurgency. In an interview with known hard-baller Larry King, Cheney said he thought that the capture of Saddam and the holding of elections would cripple the insurgency. "That clearly didn't happen," Cheney admitted. "I think the insurgency turned out to be more robust." Ya think?!

What I want to know now is, has anyone checked the White House lawn for pods?

Coolest Movie that Never Was

This poster is all that ever became of this movie from the Hammer studios. They brought us such screen gems as Dracula Has Risen From the Grave, and When Dinosaurs Ruled The Earth, and put Christopher Lee and Peter Cushing on the map. What a shame it was never realized.

Harry Potter

I'm just over half way through the book. I'll be back as soon as I've finished it.