What is it in humans that drives us to seek validation? Since I discovered blogs, and video blogs, I have noticed a very disturbing tendency in myself to become elated if a comment I made brings forth a response from the blogger, and conversely to become despondent when another comment goes ignored. I would even get a rosy glow if another commenter made a comment about my comment. Two prime examples were Amanda Congdon and Ze Frank. When I first began watching their blogs I commented fiercely, though rarely with anything new or insightful. Usually they amounted to me standing in a crowd, waving my arms and yelling 'Hey, over here! I agree with you!' Then, on one occasion, I recommended a story to Amanda during her Rocketboom days, and she used it, and even thanked me in the list of topics below the picture. You'd have thought I won a prize or something. But then the next day she used a story from another viewer and actually thanked that one verbally. I was crushed. Why didn't I get any real validation from this person whom I had never met? Fortunately, after years of metaphorical wake-up calls equivalent to a wrecking ball to the grundies, this little tap on the cheek was enough to make me realize how silly I was becoming about this whole thing. Now I still enjoy the video blogs, but my comments are limited to when I can bring something new to the table, and if no one notices it's no big deal.
So what, you might ask. I noticed yesterday that my post about the upcoming Firefly mmorpg generated more responses from you, my dear friends, than any I've done in a long time. And I noticed that I got that same warm fuzzy inside that I used to get from the strangers I had chosen to idolize. But the difference is that you guys matter to me in reality, and not just in some strange little narcissistic corner of my psyche. So I guess what I'm trying to say is thank you for coming by The Corner, and thanks even more for leaving your comments. It makes my day when you do, and in a way that I don't have to feel guilty or neurotic about.
Love all y'all,
Marius
4 comments:
I don't often leave comments because I don't have much to add that seems (to me) to be of much value. But I do read your blog regularly, and I love it when people comment on mine too.... we're a narcissistic bunch, aren't we?
perhaps you should blog more often. Let me tell you the disappointment WE feel when we click on your blog and there is nothing new. Spend more time blogging and less time "gardening".
I blog, so I understand a need to communicate...to shout out...to be heard!
When one of our readers takes the time to comment, well, you KNOW you've been heard.....but understood may be another thing.
Here we are with the famous people thing again, Marius.
Famous people are "people".
But when THEY say things....lots of people listen....but are they UNDERSTOOD by the masses???...
OR are the masses just thrilled that they are one degree away from a "NAME".
If they know yor name I guess that's nice, fun, cool, etc....
But do they "know" or "understand" Marius????
I suspect not.
But Turtle does.
Celebhith does.
R.A. Sheep does.
(and many more...)
We tune in because we are interested in Marius'life and Marius' opinions and Marius' quirks...
not to see "who" you are wearing, or how much you spend on champagne or how you got out of a DUI because you weren't wearing panties.
Maybe you were famous in another life and are craving the feeling in this life (ask Celebhith???)
I think I'm not way off by saying we who visit "the corner" think what you have to say and the distinct way you have of saying it, is much more entertaining, much more interesting and fills us like no Paris Hilton, Ze Frank,or even Jon Stewart can do.
Be your own star Marius.
I made myself Queen????
one who tunes in...
Pikaresque
I THOUGHT R.A. Sheep looked awfully familiar! And yes, I guess we are fairly narcissistic, but that's not always a bad thing. Just as vaniaty and "me first" are not necessarily bad unless they're excessive.
I love it when people respond to my blog too, be they friends or strangers. Of course, y'all's comments mean more to me, but it's kinda nice to know that someone outh there that I don't know is taking the time to get to know me.
I post on Jeff Brady's Blog (It's Always the Quiet Ones - linked on my own blog) because he seems like a really nice guy and he's going thru some crap now. Sometimes he even answers. I don't get a super thrill out of it, and yet it's nice to know he's actually reading my comments and perhaps giving them some thought. As far as I know, he has yet to view my blog, but that's okay.
I guess what I'm trying to say is I love coming to your little corner and you ARE a star in our little universe and that's exactly as it should be. You can be the Star, Pikaresque is the Queen. . . I guess I'll just be Mom? Has a nice ring to it, no?
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