An Open Letter to Tourists Everywhere

Dear Visitors,
Welcome to Florida. We are glad you are here. We like you. We need you. But please, I beg of you, if you must be on the roads between 7 and 9 am, or between 4 and 6 pm, remember that most of the people in the cars around you are trying to get to work. You know, that thing you have left behind for a week or so? Don't sightsee, dawdle, creep, or otherwise get in the way. Once rush hour is over take all the time you want, but while we are trying to keep the economy that you love to visit going, please get out of our way.

Sincerely,
Marius


ps
To my dear, middle-aged, male European brothers, nobody wants to see your acres of pasty skin clad only in a neon green banana hammock. Seriously, nobody.

Really.