Loch Ness Monster Explained...Finally

This pic shows what Scottish scientists Michael Gary Scott and Angus MacGyver claim to be the actual Loch Ness Monster. It is a Civil War era submarine, believed to have been built around 1859 with the intention of selling it to the highest bidders across the pond. Unfortunately the next year the Confederate sub The Hunley began sinking Union ships without any help from the Scots, and the sub, lovingly called Wee Cuiteog, or worm, was abandoned and set adrift in the loch. "It is unclear who the builder(s) were, but we have a pretty good idea that it was Laird Seosaidh of Inverness that funded the project." says MacGyver. The two men have been pursuing their sub theory for several years, despite threats of law suits and even bodily harm from the multi-million pound industry that has been built upon the humped back of "Nessie". Their big break came when the boat washed ashore last Thursday. When asked how he felt about his theory being proven, Scott said, "It would have been nice to have been wrong, but at least now we know. And the best part is we get to keep the boat."

The two now plan to move on to the American Midwest, where they hope to prove that Bigfoot is really just an abandoned Algonquin battle yurt.