Friday, May 13, 2005

Heil Joe

Greetings, Friends, and welcome back,
Well, it’s been a few days since last we met. I have been slowly wrapping up my affairs at dear old LC, and getting more and more frustrated as I go. The Board of Trustees, and their meat-puppet Joe Aguillard, has decided that it is not in the best interests of the school to replace me. At first I thought this was simple bean counting, but it has become painfully obvious that the motivation is much more insidious. Most totalitarian regimes want to keep a tight reign on free speech, and the arts are usually the first place to feel the squeeze. The Board has essentially created a hit list of departments that can expect to experience severe budget cuts over the next year. Communication Arts, Fine Arts, and Music are all close to the top of the list. They have also put all faculty and staff on notice that due to budgetary concerns, their contracts might be subject to non-renewal at any time, and with little to no warning. So I'm thinking that by leaving now I am going to miss the upcoming purge. I predict that after the Fall semester, when students are most reluctant to change schools, the 'financial crisis' will become so extreme that many positions in the arts, social work, and education departments will just not be fiscally supportable. There is a silver lining, however. The football team’s equipment, being all of 5 years old, is obsolete, so they are getting all new gear. Praise Jesus!
To my colleagues and students I say thank you for three of the most professionally fulfilling years of my life. It has been an honor and pleasure to work with you, and I earnestly wish you all the best of luck in the future. And to The Board, and Gollum…I mean Joe, may you all get that wish you claim to so dearly want…Jesus’ return. Although I have a feeling that He’s not going to be as happy with your actions as you might imagine. From what Moses said, He gets a bit testy when people misuse His name.

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