Friday, January 09, 2009

Philosophical Mutant?


I hate basketball. To be truthful I am apathetic toward most organized sports, but I quite actively hate basketball. I enjoy pro football, although I have serious professional objections to the amount of focus, both financial and emotional, placed on college football, but if forced to watch a college game I can still enjoy it. But I would rather slide naked down a fifty-foot razor blade into a vat of salt water than watch five minutes of basketball. When I turned twenty-something my grandmother sent me a Shaquille O'neil birthday card. When questioned about it she said that she thought he was someone famous that I would like. Most people would have laughed it off, but I was actually offended. This is not normal. Granted I don't usually sweat 'normal', but I have no idea where my antipathy toward this sport originates. I have never watched a basketball game. Nor have I been forced to participate against my will. I have been forced to attend a wrestling match, and play lacrosse and football by over-enthusiastic PE coaches, but I don't loathe any of those sports. Only basketball earns my hatred. I don't get it.

There are other things that guys are supposed to be into that I don't get. Cars, guns, wrestling with each other, baseball stats, competitive farting. Somewhere there must be a 'guy gene' that is recessive in me. That's not to say I'm totally pansified and give a damn about window treatments. I spent a great deal of time in my young adulthood wearing forty pounds of steel and leather and hitting people with sticks. After which we would laugh manfully and drink copious amounts of whatever alcoholic beverages we could get our hands on. I miss those days, and if I can get past all my excuses, most significant of which is dropping at least fifteen pounds, I intend to fight another day.

But I still hate basketball.

8 comments:

flurrious said...

I hate basketball too, but I'm a girl, so it's allowed. I think it's the sound of the game that bothers me. Squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak KA-THONG! Squeak squeak squeak ...

Monkey said...

What is this steel and alcohol sport you reference here?

Marius said...

Monkey: Full contact medieval tournament combat.

Stinkypaw said...

I pretty much dislike watching any sport, except for karate. I did play basket in high-school, broke both wrists and started karate after... since, don't care that much for it.

But hitting people with a stick, sounds like a good idea!

Funny, my word verification was "marche" which is basically the only physical thing I'm doing lately...

Robert said...

Team Sports or any sport has never appealed to me, if I want to get fit I go out and run. It doesn't get anymore simple.

I respect the social aspect of sports but am not able to mingle with most sports fans in a sports environment without becoming under the weather , almost depressed . I should probably work on this.

Turtle said...

I truly like organized sports. There's something almost... gladiatorial in them. I found that as I age, I tend to prefer college sports to pro, though I'm not really sure why. Maybe it is the fact that the kids *want* to be pros, so they try harder... Maybe living in a college town has a lot to do with it?

Odd. Loathing B-Ball? I can see not caring for it, but loathing? Did Uncle Julius Irving touch you in uncomfortable places as a child? I don't know... Again, having a college team local helps to spurt the appreciation, especially when they're doing well...

I, personally, don't much care for baseball. They lost me back during their last big strike and I never really looked back. Still, I don't loathe it.

At any rate, speaking of sports - GO GATORS!! Timmah!!

celebhith said...

While, in general, I hate all sports, especially televised (forcryingoutloud, if you're gonna make me watch it, at least take me to the game!), basketball and baseball are two I will watch (in person - see above). I think it's because it's easy to understand. . . football, on the other hand. . . I think I'd have an easier time understanding Greek.

On t.v., what I WILL watch, and God only knows why, is ice skating/gymastics/tennis. . . none of which I do or have done or ever will do. Go figure.

weathereye said...

I'm with you on the cars, guns and farts, but I do enjoy shooting some B-ball outside of the school.