Monday, June 04, 2007

Love Slayer

Greetings from sunny(read: hotter than Satan's sauna)South Florida. Fear not, dear ones, I shall continue to blog with my usual atomic-clock-like frequency though I be far, far away. Well, ok, who am I trying to kid. I'll probably be as hit or miss as ever, but at least I will try to be more consistent. Is that ok?

I don't know if other areas of the country get to experience this phenomenon, but the drive down left my car at least twice as heavy due to the inches thick layer of dead love bugs coating the entire forward surface of my vehicle. Love Bugs(Plecia nearctica) spend much of the year as larvae, but usually around April-May they take to the air, couple up, and fly about dancing butt-to-butt in huge, harmless, but very gooshy clouds all over the place, and especially along the freeways. I suppose if I had to choose a way to go, in flagrante delecto would be my first choice, but it sure would be nice if these carnal critters would take their enjoyment indoors, or at least away from the roads.

And if you have heard the urban legend that says love bugs were the result of genetic experiments at the University of Florida, and that they were accidentally released into the wild, rest easy. They are natives of Central America who most likely stowed away on cargo ships putting into Louisiana in the '20s, and have discovered what thousands of Spring Breakers already know: our sun-drenched shores a lovely place to indulge in completely unabashed, totally uninterrupted, absolutely anonymous fornication. But the bugs don't waste time with wet carapace contests, or jello shots first.

Now I'm going to make with the scraping.

Marius the Out-Grossed


Anonymous said...

This is a version of my hell. Not the big sex- I say- go for it folks! But the cloud of bug- I just could not do it. I have long hated FL, in large part to how super-buggy it is. I boast that I would never go to Florida as it is for children and retirees and has giant cockroachs, indoor lizards, etc. But now with the Harry Potter park opening I may just have to ear crow- so only clouds of insects a few months each year? Promise?
The Off!-coated Monkey

Tink said...

I have recently realized that Kansas does not have love-bugs. I noticed the other day that I hadn't seen any around and asked Chelsea and Jerod if they had. They looked very confused and asked what "love-bugs" were. I was shocked. But I guess I'm not complaining.