Saturday, September 30, 2006

Trojan Man: boon to the boudoir, or filthy liar?

Great leaping tadpoles of destiny! I just found out that nonoxynol-9, the primary ingredient in the spermicidally lubricated condom, is actually not all that good at killing the little devils. And not only that, it can cause microscopic lesions in living tissue that atually increase the likelyhood of contracting STD's! I have never been a fan of condoms(what man is?) but rarely complained due to the even greater dislike of unwanted progeny. But one of the more unpleasant effects N-9 had on me was that it caused the first pee after sex to be extremely painful. And now I find out that the sensation of fire shooting from my artillery was all for naught? And what's even better about this is that the World Health Organization released this information back in 2001, yet I just found out about it this morning! Here is an excerpt from the WHO report:

There is no published scientific evidence that N-9-lubricated condoms provide any additional protection against pregnancy or STIs compared with condoms lubricated with other products. Since adverse effects due to the addition of N-9 to condoms cannot be excluded, such condoms should no longer be promoted. However, it is better to use N-9-lubricated condoms than no condoms.

This does raise an interesting thought, however. Since the fruitless pregnancy of a few months ago, Wifey and I have been trying quite actively to make another go of it, so far with no success. I am now wondering if the problem lies with my little swimmers, since there have been a total of 2 pregnancy scares in nearly 25 years of illicit activities. It makes one ponder...

So, anyway, if you are still relying on the lauded N-9 to keep you child-free, think again.

This has been a public service announcement from Dr. Marius.



Anonymous said...

Hang in there. .. .and I'm really sorry about your "artillery". . . ouch!

Anonymous said...

Marius possibly giving up condoms? Livestock from across Florida rejoice!

keith said...

doug, the sheep in texas don't find that funny