Wednesday, September 06, 2006

Thumpthumpthumpthump

anx‧i‧e‧ty 
–noun, plural -ties. 1. distress or uneasiness of mind caused by fear of danger or misfortune

It is also a powerful and irrational master. I try to sleep, but unfocused thoughts pour acid into my guts and turn my heart into a metronomic M-16 on full auto. The people from the 'good' high school called and think they can get me back. The college responded with a 'Let me get back to you.' Which option is the best for me, and the family? Am I even looking in the right direction? Is there some other field I could go into, yet not have to start at the bottom? Then again, what I have been making for the last 5 years or so is starting pay for most 'real' careers. The only other thing I've ever really wanted to do was marine biology, but that kinda requires a whole lot more schooling. I'm a lousy salesman, and retail is out of the question. So, what can a married forty-something with a kid do? My stress level, and thus my asshole-at-home quotient has skyrocketed since I started the new job, but we can't afford for me to be unemployed either. I'm feeling tired, and trapped, and more unsure of myself than ever. If only I could find a nice, cozy shop where I didn't have to be the boss, but could make a livable wage. And as long as I'm dreaming, I'd like a pony, too.

Thanks for listening to me bitch. You guys are the greatest.

Marius

4 comments:

Rosebuckle said...

For that last wish, have you considered Orlando?

Monkey said...

HAng in there. This, like everything will pass. If you stay in a high school this year- it is just for a few more months. A good friend once told me that anything can be endured for a few months. And she was right. Again, if you need lessons let me know.
Thinking good thoughts for you!

Anonymous said...

what about seaworld?? I'm sure they could use a person who has a theatre background and loves animals (the proper way, not in the Biblical sense). Imagine doing tech work for a bunch of doped you whales. How much different could this be from working with kids on Ritalin? This advice I am giving is super-cool. I am thinking about a career in career-counseling! Shine Jesus Shine! Doug

celebhith said...

Nothing for me to add at all - the advice here is everything I'd have said anyway. Just remember, nothing last forever and you WILL get through this. I promise.