Tuesday, June 13, 2006


Oh what bliss to be on line again. I find it odd that I am a Luddite, but I do tend to be one of the last to partake of technological innovations. I was sure that records would never die until Pikaresque gave me a CD player, then I wondered just what the hell was wrong with me. It was the same with the internet. For years I had heard of it, but had no real desire to own a computer...until that fateful day when I finally got one. Actually, my infatuation with the internet began quite a while before I owned my own machine. It came from babysitting Celebhith's computer once while she was on vacation. I spent hours surfing the web, even though I had little to no idea what I was doing. Then came that blissful day when I had my own machine. Sure it was dial-up, but in 1998 that was the shizzle. And compared to the old Commodore 64, where it could take half an hour and 4 ten-inch floppy discs to load frikken Zork, dial-up was a dream. Then there was last years epiphany of DSL. How ever did I endure waiting upwards of THREE MINUTES to log on? Oh the rapture of 'always on' internet. Information coursed through my brain at the speed of light. Never again would we struggle to know 'what did that actor do before? he looks so familiar', or 'just what is all the fuss about high fructose corn syrup?' All the collected knowledge of humans great and small was there like golden apples on a low slung branch.

Until...dum dum DUUUUUUMMMMMMMMM!!!! We moved.

I have already related the tale of incompetance and idiocy that lead to nearly two weeks without internet, but my digital exile is finally over. I...surf...agaaaaaaaain!(rewatch Army of Darkness for the correct cadence of that last comment)

Of course, during my internet black-out I have thought of, and forgotten, many topics for this here blog, but be just and fear not! Now I can immediately spew forth at will the mental debris left over after the real thinking ends.(real thinking? shh. he's rolling) Yes, as the Flying Spaghetti Monster is my witness, I shall never read newspapers again. Henceforth I'll be first in line for upgrades and new hard, firm, and software. Bring on the wireless mice! Let there be Bluetooth and Firewire. And when the day comes that I can have a neural interface implanted in my corpus collosum, then I say I ALREADY SHAVE MY HEAD!!!!! Come on, Mr. Gates, make me your bitch and never let me go so long without my data fix again!!!!!

Well, maybe not quite that, but it is good to be on line again. :-)

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

For the record, Clay fans LOVE it firm and hard. . . Ah'm just sayin'.