Grrrrr!

I angry at several things right now, and most of them should piss you off, too. First of all, the numbskulls that run Verizon down here have screwed us up again. Many of you remember when the Marius clan relocated to this lovely little frying pan called Tampa that we sent out a phone number that never worked. We were told that it was a 'temporary' phone number. WTF?! So it took a while for all of our friends and family to finally get our correct digits. Well, we just moved again, into nicer digs, and all was going smoothly until yesterday morning when I got the computer set up...only to find that the DSL which should have been switched Friday along with the phone service wasn't. And, of course this is Memorial Day weekend, so no one will be in the call center until TUESDAY!!!!! I don't know about you, but I can't go three days with no internet. So here I am, alone in the theatre, being angry for your amusement. ;-) And, to borrow a much overused phrase, I pity the fool who gets my call on Tuesday morning.

Ok, let's get global. The winner of the 'you have got to be fucking kidding me' award is Cheyenne County Nebraska District Judge Kristine Cecava who sentenced convicted child rapist Richard W. Thompson to ten years PROBATION for the multiple rapes of a 12-year-old girl because at 5'-1" tall he would be at risk in prison. She says that at his height he would be threatened by other inmates. Well, first of all the warden of the prison this dickhead should go to says they have many inmates who are under 5' tall and they get by just fine. And secondly SO WHAT!!!? He raped a 12 year old girl! He should be some huge, hairy murderer's bitch. Fortunately the DA is appealing the ruling. If I hear anything else I'll let y'all know.

And I save the best for last. You know how the idiot squad in the White House keeps complaining that the press never reports the good stuff in Iraq? Well check this out. Apparently on November 19th, yes more than six months ago, a Marine convoy was hit by a bomb outside the Iraqi city of Haditha, and one of them was killed. The rest of the convoy then proceeded to massacre as many as TWO DOZEN unarmed Iraqi civilians. That's horrific enough, but wait, there's more. This 'event' has been hushed up and is only just coming to light because of Representative John Murtha , D-Pa. The military is only saying that an investigation is ongoing, and will not comment. Murtha is pursuing this doggedly, but what has me floored is that what little commentary there has been about this seems to all be focused on the Public Relations angle, and how this will hurt our efforts in Iraq. Fuck the PR, people! American troops committed a fucking war crime!!! What the hell is going on with us? The UN is calling us out on human rights violations, our troops are shooting up innocents, the President seems to think he's some fucking Ceasar who can do whatever he wants with impunity. It's like I went to sleep in the normal world and woke up in Bizarro world. But at least Angelina Jolie gave birth to a healthy baby girl yesterday, so I guess there is some hope for humanity.

Ok, dear ones, I have some more crap to move. Take care, enjoy your Memorial Day, and remember just because Bacardi 151 WILL burn, doing your Gene Simmons impression in the back yard after your fifth drink is not a good idea.

Peace out.
Marius

Clerks II Trailer

Brain Droppings

Ok, here's a little game I'd like to play with y'all. Pick some random memory of some stupid tv moment from your childhood that still percolates in your brain and relate it here. I'm really hoping that I'm not the only one dealing with this sort of mental debris. Allow me to start.

There was a Gilligan's Island episode, well, one of many, where Gilligan had to perform some sort of native ritual. I don't really remember the situation, but I do remember the chant:


(Chief)Oh hoo ninny poo
(Warriors) Oh hoo ninny poo
(Chief) Oh hoo ha-ha hoo!
(Warriors)Oh hoo ha-ha hoo!

I will sometimes wake up with this nonesense running over and over in my head. Or the one where Gilligan was believed to be the reincarnation of a native chief and had to say the words Poolu see bagumba at the appropriate time, which of course he screwed up. Why do I remember this stupid stuff, yet forget to do my Louisiana taxes?

Please tell me I'm not alone in this.

Would Ya Watch?

Howdy folks. I have a question for y'all. I'm getting a hankering to try this video blogging, or v-logging, thing. It would involve a modest investment in a web camera, microphone, and time, and I don't really know if it would be entertaining or not, but I kinda want to give it a whirl. Opinions?

Coming Soon To a Confessional Near You!

Cultural Guilt: An Epiphany

For most of my life I have been ashamed of being a white, middle class American. My people, and my ancestors, murdered, cheated, enslaved and stole their way to domination of this country. I have wrestled with feelings of guilt over things I did not do, and remorse over actions I did not take. I have felt sympathy for all the races of this planet, and ambiguity for my own. I have ridiculed 'my people' for all of their cultural goofiness and banality, and feared to dare think that it was ok to be a white guy. To think that would make me intolerant, a supremacist, a hood-wearing cross burner. I was wrong.
Today I was in a predominantly white neighborhood, and went into a grocery store where the majority of the people were white, and I was comfortable. I noticed that comfort, and immediately began to clang the doors of shame upon it...but then I stopped. I thought about it, about why it was 'wrong', and then I realized that it wasn't wrong. No one faults a black man or woman for taking pride in their heritage and culture. No one faults a Puerto Rican for keeping San Juan in his heart, or a Jamaican for listening to Reggae. Yet we, your average Euro-mutt white folks don't dare enjoy our whiteness for fear of seeming intolerant. And we do this to ourselves. We feel that if we embrace our whiteness, as African-Americans embraced their blackness back in the 70's, then we must, by default, be decrying all other races. And that's just not so.
My epiphany today had nothing to do with disliking my neighbors of color. It had everything to do with my desire to live amongst people with similar likes, dislikes, desires, and lifestyles as my own. I realized that I don't like living in a mostly black neighborhood not because they are black, but because I am white. It would be totally naive to say that there are no cultural differences between the black and white communities, and what I have been calling inconsiderate and selfish behavior is merely my frustration that I don't fit in around here. My neighbors don't seem to be bothered by loud rap music, or noisy conversations under their windows at night, or children out at all hours. They socialize, and party on their stairs, and laugh like they'll never get the chance again. And yes, they swear, and drink, and occasionally fight, but for the most part they are enjoying life. I have been the Ebeneezer to their Bob Cratchett, hiding behind my windows and vowing to call the cops if the party doesn't quiet down promptly by 11. And all this time I never realized that the frustration was not with them, but with myself. I am the square peg here.
I don't think I would be happy moving to some overly white place where the only time you see anyone of color is when someone comes to work on the yard, but I would like to live in a place where I am not quite so much the minority. And yes, that last statement is firing my reflexive 'now you see how they feel' neurons, but I can't help that. But neither will I be ruled by that. Black is beautiful, and so is white. And brown, and red, and yellow, and while I had always assumed that places like Little Havana and China Town existed as fortresses against the majority, I'm beginning to see that it's human nature to want to be with your own kind. No, I am not giving my inner Archie free reign here, what I mean by 'own kind' is just what I said at the beginning; people with similar likes, dislikes, desires, language, etc. Diversity is great, but sometimes familiarity is very comforting, and I don't think that there is anything wrong with that. Or at least I'm trying not to.

Marius

You Have Got To Be Kidding!

A friend of mine, who is in the midst of the final countdown to his own escape launch, sent me this letter sent to the Alexandria, Louisiana Town Talk newspaper. It's nice to see that in this world of pain, suffering, starvation, war, disease, and strife, good Christians are focusing their energies in appropriate ways. Pray, attend:

Calling all Christians

Those who are willing are invited to come and stand outside the Grand Theatre on opening day of the blasphemous movie, “The Da Vinci Code” from noon until dark on Friday, May 19. We will be having a PPP – peaceful, prayerful protest. Come join us who will be there to honor our Lord and savior, Jesus Christ and to console him and make reparation for insults to his sacredness. We invite all, both young and old.

The movie industry has taken our god, who is a divine person and made him human just like the rest of us, married and having a child. The movie is filled with calumnies, offenses, and historical and theological errors. It is truly a grievous matter.

We have sent many letters of protest to the manager of the Grand but he claims that all decisions about what movies are put on the screen, comes from corporate headquarters (whoever that is). Some people may attend the movie out of curiosity but we would not give one nickel to Sony, Columbia Pictures or Ron Howard. We do not want them to get rich from this mockery of Jesus Christ.


Mary .B. Lachney, Dr. James McNulty , Tinsley Ducote, Cataline White -- Alexandria






Originally published May 15, 2006

Cute but Wierd III

 

Behold Starbuck: the CbW poster varmint! 

Cute but Wierd II

 


It's a sad thing when a squirrel drinks too much. 

Bree Sharp

  


A few years ago Bree Sharp had a big hit with the novelty song called David Duchovny, and then just as quickly disappeared from the Nation's radar. This is a huge shame, and I am now trying to rectify that. While David Duchovny is a fun song, her other works are very notable and fun. Check her out here, I promise you won't be disappointed.

Marius

Clever Lad

 


Here's a tale of a lad who grew weary of redundancy and did something about it. Read the whole tale here. 

Generation Landslide 2006

I found this on YouTube, and it's brilliant!



Here's what the creator says about it:
Added on April 08, 2006, 04:51 PM
by scotbot
This is a video I made by carefully editing about a dozen vintage toy commercials and military propaganda clips to match Alice Cooper's classic song, Generation This is a video I made by carefully editing about a dozen vintage toy commercials and military propaganda clips to match Alice Cooper's classic song, Generation Landslide.

Bang the drum loudly!

I know that the horse I'm about to whup up on is terminal, but this message must get out. The Republican party is in a tailspin, and the Democrats are still clueless. The the era of useless,partisan bickering could be brought to an end this November. Too many people ignore the mid-term elections, and focus solely on the Presidential campaigns. Yet we all know that the Electoral College effectively negates the 'one man, one vote' tenet. Not so for Congressional elections. State and local elections are the ones where your vote does count. And Congress is where the real power lies. Sure the President can push things through, but only if Congress allows it. Sure the President can veto bills he disapproves of, but Congress can negate that veto...if they work together. Our representatives should be just that...our representatives. This President has shown us one thing very clearly; that no President, once elected, needs to care one iota about what the people say or think. But Congresspersons, on the other hand, could be easily brought to task if enough Americans take off their blinders, get up off their couches, and vote!! And stop with the internet petitions. No one in Washington, or Tallahassee, or any state capitol, pays attention to the internet. It's just too easy to fake an internet personality. Sit down at your computer, or typewriter if you are that retro, and write actual ink and paper letters to your representatives and let them know how you think. They work for us, and it's high time they were reminded of that. Do your homework, research the local candidates, and vote based on issues, and not which animal is on their lapel pin. There is a statistic being bandied about lately, often accompanied by the wry chuckle of a morning show DJ, that says more Americans vote for American Idol then for President. I don't think that's funny. I think that's pathetic. This country is going to Hell in a handbasket, and it's the people who don't vote for Congress that are weaving it.

Please, vote. Encourage others to vote. Sure it takes a little bit of time out of your day, but if this is going to be a truly representative government, which it hasn't been for quite some time, we need to represent. We need to vote.

C'mon, Nelly, let's get some ice for those bruises.

Marius

Cute but Wierd

 


Many yarins ago, when I still had a full head of hair and knees that actually bent all the way, a young lady friend branded me with the appellation 'cute but wierd'. I don't know why that memory surfaced today, but it shall henceforth be the title of a recurring segment here at The Corner wherein I will share with you adorable, yet bizarre creatures from our wierd and wonderful planet. And so, without further ado, I give you...the pygmy marmoset. 

Ladies and Gentlemen, Miss Portman.

Get this video and more at MySpace.com

Well?

  

Meet the Meat

This is a really groovy little film based on a Science Fiction short story. Enjoy.
Marius

Just a little taste of Colbert

The other day I raved about Stephen Colbert's speech at the White House Press Corp's dinner on Saturday last. Not only did he tear the president a new one right to his face, he also reamed the press for its collusion with the administration. Well, only four days later the press is finally saying something. Essentially they are saying 'We didn't report on this 'cause it wasn't funny.' Ha! And I say again, HA!!
Stephen Colbert is, without a doubt, the ballsiest man in the entertainment industry, and my hat's off to him. Here's just a little bit from the transcript of his speech:

I'm with the president, let history decide what did or did not happen. The greatest thing about this man is he's steady. You know where he stands. He believes the same thing Wednesday, that he believed on Monday, no matter what happened Tuesday. Events can change, this man's beliefs never will. And as excited as I am to be here with the president, I am appalled to be surrounded by the liberal media that is destroying America, with the exception of Fox News.
Fox News gives you both sides of every story, the President's side and the Vice President's side.
But the rest of you, what are you thinking, reporting on N.S.A. wiretapping or secret prisons in Eastern Europe? Those things are secret for a very important reason, they're superdepressing.
And if that's your goal, well, misery accomplished. Over the last five years you people were so good over tax cuts, W.M.D. intelligence, the affect of global warming. We Americans didn't want to know, and you had the courtesy not to try to find out. Those were good times, as far as we knew. But, listen, let's review the rules. Here's how it works. The President makes decisions, he's the decider. The Press Secretary announces those decisions, and you people of the press type those decisions down. Make, announce, type. Put them through a spell check and go home. Get to know your family again. Make love to your wife. Write that novel you got kicking around in your head. You know, the one about the intrepid Washington reporter with the courage to stand up to the administration. You know, fiction.

Jon Stewart may still be the big daddy, but little Stephen scored a major touchdown.

And there was much rejoicing.

Marius

May Day! May Day!

Red alert! Arm all phasers, load forward torpedo bays! Shields up, we're going in!!!

Hee hee, I just love saying that.

On to some of the more ridiculous things I've heard lately. First and foremost, The Vatican is calling for a boycott of The DaVinci Code which opens on May 19th. They have been bitching about this story ever since the book was a big hit a couple of years ago, but here's the silly part. IT'S A NOVEL!! The book's author, Dan Brown, has made no attempt to deny that it is a work of fiction, but the Church(tm) keeps insisting that the claims that Jesus and Mary Magdalene were married and had children, and that the Church(tm), along with the fanatical sect Opus Dei covered up the fact, are slanderous and false. Hmm, to paraphrase the Bard, the clergy doth protest too much, me thinks. Interestingly enough, Opus Dei has actually figured out that the more noise you make about a movie, the more people will want to see it, and has therefore remained silent.

In other news, Stephen Colbert hosted the White House Press Corp. dinner this weekend. In his guise as an ultra-conservative Bush supporter he tore the administration a new one right to their faces. It was brilliant! You can see it here. Stephen Colbert Speech

And finally, South Korea has pulled into the lead in the crucial robotic dog market, filling the void left when Sony discontinued the impressively irrelevant Aibo with a new dogbot called Genibo. This barkdroid can recognize voice commands, and has a camera in its nose that allows it to act as a surveillance unit. Finally, a droid with Seoul.

hee hee

Love ya's,
Marius