Theory vs Reality

Here's how today was supposed to go: Wake up at 3:45am to drive Mrs. Marius to work. Come home, crash for a bit, then go to the airport at 10:45. Drop off the car, hide the key inside, and text the location to the Mrs. (who works at the airport), then go pick up the rental car I'd reserved for this weekend's festivities. *Begin Flashback* My friend Sam is getting married this weekend, and I was planning to attend. The nuptials are taking place in South Florida, and we decided it would be worth the $60-70 to rent a car for two days rather than put that much extra wear and tear on my 15 year old Hyperion. *End Flashback* Then take the rental back home for a leisurely couple of hours to pack an overnight bag, give myself a haircut, shave, shower, and then drive 3.5 hours to party like it's 1999.

Here's what actually happened. My wife woke me up on time, and I drove her to work. So far so good. I got a bit more sleep on the couch before Starbuck started meowing in my face, and Artemis decided to play with my toes.(she is NOT declawed) So I got up, fed them, made coffee, and settled in to read email, chat with Australia, and wake up. Then, about 9:30, my wife calls. She's feeling like crap, due to the ever growing creature in her innards, and they're sending her home. So, I go get her, drive her home, and then turn around and go back to get my rental. Hertz, apparently oblivious to it being Memorial Day weekend, didn't have enough people cleaning cars to have anything resembling a quick turnaround, so it took nearly 90 minutes to get my car. No worries, I still had a comfortable 45 minutes to get ready. Tight, but doable. So I begin my ablutions, cut my hair, shower, shave, and as I step out of the shower I hear my wife downstairs cry out, "The toilet overflowed again!" Back in December we had a similar incident when doing laundry. The washer started draining, and it all come out of the downstairs toilet. We eventually had to call a plumber, and it turned out to be roots in the pipes. He used a root cutting tool to clear them out, and after a pricey call to our landpeople all was well. We have been putting root killer down the loo ever since, but I guess it wasn't working very well. Fortunately the water that was bubbling up out of the bog was my shower water, so it was not gross, but it was everywhere. We used every towel in the house, and got the flow under control. I manned the plunger, hoping it was just a normal toilet clog, but the gaping hole in my palm is a mute, if painful testimony to the vanity of that wish. So I called the plumbers who did the deed previous, and was told that as soon as they spoke with our landpersons they'd send someone out. Well, this is a big SCA weekend, and our dear friends/landpeople are out in the woods working their asses off making sure lots of medievally bedecked folks are having the time of their lives, and thus are very far from both cell phones, and reception. So I realized I wasn't going anywhere, and took the rental car back. Hertz, being true to their name and mascot (anyone remember OJ hawking Hertz?) charged me a full day for the honor of having their car for 2 hours. While I took the car back my wife called Roto Rooter, a company who's babies I want to have, and they were here in no time. The pipes were cleared, the plumber was friendly and quick, and we have running water again. But my weekend is well and truly fucked, and the bank account is a home for moths again.

Yeah, first world problems, but annoying nonetheless. I hope your Memorial Day weekend is going better.

Marius the Grumpy