Thursday, April 07, 2011

30 Day Film Challenge Day 2: My Least Favorite Film

Wow, this one is another toughie because, again, it depends on my mood. There are also so many totally shit movies out there it's kinda hard to pick just one. So to narrow the field I'm going to restrict myself to big-budget, big studio crapfests, and in this cinematic sewage treatment plant of Armageddons and Independence Days one turd sinks to the bottom to take the lowest place in my Pantheon of Putrescence...The Core. This film is so awful it can't even reside in the 'so bad it's good' category for me as the basic premise is so ludicrously preposterous, and the depiction of almost everything that happens in the film so unbelievably implausible that my willing suspension of disbelief muscles completely shut down after the first five minutes of the movie. The basic story is that something the military did has caused the Earth's core to stop spinning, thus depriving us of our magnetic field, and wreaking havoc on the planet. So a stalwart team of appropriately self-sacrificing scientists get in a homemade tunneling machine built out of 'unobtanium' that gets stronger the more it gets squished, or some such bullshit, and dig down to detonate some nukes and restart the core. Adventure ensues. And by adventure I mean 90 minutes of mind-numbingly stilted dialogue, brain-twisting ridiculousness, and the most improbable happy ending since Nicholson and Hunt got together at the end of As Good As It Gets. I cannot decry this film enough, and I urge you not to see it. Even if you get it free you will have lost nearly two hours of your precious and finite time on this Earth, and you will regret it.

2 comments:

Sarah said...

I remember when they first announced that Hilary Swank would be in it. It was her next film after her Oscar win and this movie was really supposed to seal the deal on her fabulous acting skills....

I am pretty partial to Aaron Eckhart though...

Syr Turtle said...

C'mon... Unobtainium? Worth the price of admission right there!

It's been the ongoing joke for a while that Atlantean's armor is made of the stuff...