Monday, April 27, 2009

Netiquette Quandary


The digital age has brought with it some interesting questions of propriety, and I am faced with a few such dilemmas right now. Among the lesser posers are just how long does one keep the email addresses and blog links of someone who is deceased? It is a bittersweet moment when scrolling through bookmarks or contact lists only to come across such ephemeral mementos. But ultimately that is a personal decision, and not really apropos of this discussion. No, the real conundrum has to do with friends of those passed on. My mom was a religious Conservative, and we often had 'spirited' debates over the merits of the various peccadilloes of the Republican party, so much so that it ceased to be fun to bait her on such issues. She actually thought George W. Bush was a good president. She was also a member of an online prayer circle, but a couple of years ago her computer broke and she asked me to contact one of her online friends to pass along information. I didn't mind, but this woman has kept me in her email list and has, of late, started to send out right-wing propaganda. Today it was Newt Gingrich's newsletter. I started to send a 'please remove me from your list' email, then I wondered if that would be rude. Should I just ignore such mails? Should I ask her to stop? Should I start sending her editorials by Jeneane Garofolo and Al Franken? She seems like a nice person, and I'd hate to offend, but I really am not her target audience. What do you all think?

6 comments:

rosebuckle said...

I think your first impulse was correct. Just send a "remove me from your list". If you feel the need for further clarification you could say something like: while I loved my mother very much our political & philosophical values were very different.
Don't play games. If you get them after that, add them to your spam list.

Turtle said...

Rose pretty much hit the nail on the head. The only rudeness involved would lie in her inability (should it exist) to cease sending such content.

weathereye said...

I tend to err on the side of not offending people, so I would just adjust my settings so her emails are classified as spam. She's none the wiser, and you aren't bothered anymore.

cohnee said...

I agree with wethereye, just filter her e-mails. If you just tell her to (politely) get lost, it could get back your mum and that could lead to an unnecessary arguement. For me at least, I only pick the battles that need to to be picked.

If your using gmail, it's possible to setup up specific filters that will block certain phrases/words in e-mails, from certain people.

You never know when you might need to contact your mums friend.

Marius said...

I like the spam filter idea. It has been implemented, and now we'll see what happens. Thanks all for your input. :-)

celebhith said...

It's certainly not rude to ask to be removed from her mailing list, especially as you only wound up there because you helped out your mom, who is no longer. You might add that you appreciate her friendship with you mom and reiterate that you would rather not recieve the e-mails she is sending.