Word Soup

I don't quite know what this post will be about, other than it will certainly contain consonants, vowels, and maybe even a preposition or two. I may go crazy and insert a parenthetical phrase(just because I can), and if I get to feeling really froggy I may just dangle a participle at you.

But enough with vocabutacular vacuity, on with the show. I'm trying to think of a witty observation, or perhaps a shocking anecdote, or hell even a half-way decent fart joke, but alas my mental Old Mother Hubbard has forgotten to go to Wal-Mart again, and thus...unclothed synaptic cabinetry. Did I tell you all that I dreampt that I was to play Tony Stark in the next Iron Man movie? No? Good, don't want to frighten the faint of heart. Fortunately, on this planet anyway, there is a very low, but granted higher than zero, chance that I will ever be confused with Robert Downey, Jr. Morton Downey, maybe.(and if you remember him, we're having tapioca after Bingo tonight) But it was cool to fly around my dreamscape in the Iron Man suit.

Meerkats!!


So I have yet to hear from anyone who has ever seen a wild squirrel take a crap, therefore using the Creationist Method I must deduce that squirrels simply eat, and eat, and eat, and then eventually explode.

Are you still there? For the pete of sake, why?! Well, actually I am kinda grateful that you guys keep coming back. No, strike that, I'm extremely grateful that y'all keep coming back. I'm still planning to post daily in Blogtober, although if this is any foreshadowing of things to come, you may just want to set up a tent in flurrious's neck of the woods.

Have I mentioned how wonderful Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog is? Did you know they won an Emmy? Well it is, and they did. Nyah!



I'm really hoping that this new Zombieland movie will suck so badly that the zombie thing finally dies down a little. It used to be you could have civil conversations about Romero's movies, and the pretenders that followed, but now you say 'zombie' and people go nuts!Everyone has a plan for the Zombie Apocalypse(tm), their favorite weapons picked out, vehicles and stores scouted. And, of course, the eternally boring debate between fast/smart zombies and slow/stupid zombies. That conversation always makes me yearn for the Star Trek vs. Star Wars civility and mutual respect.(engage the sarcasmotron)

So as I await the Ambien I took to shut my brain down one deck at a time until I start singing Bicycle Built for Two ever more slowly, I'm going to wrap this up now. If you are still here you are indeed an intrepid, brave, or just foolishy stubborn soul, and so I will steal an idea from flurrious.(she's too far away to hit me...I think) For getting this far you deserve an award. I'll admit my shop-fu is weak, but I'll come up with something. So tell me an award you think you deserve, and I'll make it so.

And so, for now, and later, and maybe even last week, ta-ta.

suiraM

Yay, Awards!

The most wonderful and clever flurrious, being as I intimated a few syllables ago wonderful and clever, has given out awards to those who frequent her little bit of the intertubez. The trick was that we were supposed to ask for an award. I did not, so therefore I got one, and it is totally surreal and awesome. Behold:


In her own words: "The next award is just plain odd. It’s for Marius, and … I just don’t know. I don’t understand, yet I am consumed with envy. He’s certainly deserving; I’m just concerned about the hairball situation."

It's nice to be an enigma, although the award itself reveals a level of understanding that belies the enigmatic nature of me, so I'll just smile quietly and accept this award in the spirit of humility and weirdness in which it was bestowed.

:-)
Meowrius.

Suzie Plakson Interview

The interview with Suzie Plakson is now online here. You can also find out more about Suzie here.

Cute, but Weird

It's been a while since I've done a CbW segment, but over the last few days Starbuck, our resident felitard, has been in rare form. Here are a couple of shots of the sleeping doofus.

Lately he has decided that my mixer is the comfiest place to sleep, so I had to fashion a cover(the orange plastic thing)for it. Starbuck seemed insulted at first, but learned to adapt thus:



And last night, after the interview, as I went to shut down the house for slumber, I beheld this sight on the couch:



I have to wonder if the ancient Egyptians would have had a hard time worshiping this one. ;-)

Marius

Celebrity Coolness

In my life I've met many celebrities. Because of where I've worked most of them were on the tail end of their careers, but there were still varying degrees of coolness and uncoolness. One of the first was Burt Reynolds, and while I know a couple of you out there had different experiences with the man, he always struck me as a total prick. But Robert Goulet was the picture of detached professionalism. Charles Nelson Reilly was very nice, as was William Christopher, and Joyce DeWitt was a complete sweetheart. And I hope to have half as much energy when I reach 60 as Tito Puente and Joel Gray did and do in their 80s. But in my travels it's always been the 'second string' celebs that impressed me the most. Those people whom you may know when you hear their names, but then when shown a picture you go, "Oh, them!" Kathy Griffin was very funny, if a bit scary up close(too much makeup) The Reduced Shakespeare Company were some of the coolest, funniest guys around, and Paul Zaloom, whom you may know as Beakman from the children's science show Beakman's World, was just a fun guy to spend a day with. But last night I had my coolest celebrity encounter yet.

A couple of weeks ago I got a bee in my bonnet to ask Felicia Day, star of both Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog and The Guild if she would appear on Starbase 66. I was politely told 'no thanks'. For some reason it was like finally getting up the courage to ask the hot girl at the end of the bar to dance and having her laughingly say no, and for most of the next day I moped. Finally the moping went from self-pity to angry. What the hell was my problem?! So in a flurry of 'getting back on the horse' I started scouring the internet for the agent's of the stars. First I found Gates McFadden's agent and fired off an email, which has yet to garner any response. Then I Googled Suzie Plakson, who played K'Ehleyr on Star Trek:The Next Generation. If you know Trek, but don't recognize the name, she was Worf's girlfriend, and the mother of his son, but was killed after only 2 episodes. She later appeared on both Voyager and Enterprise, as well as several sit-coms, movies, and TV shows. I have always admired her work, and she was one of the first stars I thought of when we started the Starbase and began to contemplate interviewing Science Fiction stars. So I found her website here and used the contact form to ask if she'd like to join us on the show. The next day I got a response from 'her people'...well, a dude named James...and he said that she thought it sounded like fun and asked for more details. Emails flew back and forth across the country, and ultimately a date and time was decided. Finally Suzie herself emailed me and we set the parameters of the inteview. She sent a bunch of questions that she gets all the time, most of which I would never have asked(I already know how tall she is, and how long getting into Klingon makeup takes) but it did help set the course of the interview. We corresponded several more times, and she just seemed to get cooler and cooler. My co-hosts were just as excited, and as the hour approached I grew more and more nervous. Then, early last night, she scared the pee out of me. She asked what station we were on, and should she have folks tune in at the time the interview was to start. "Shit!" I thought. She thinks this is a radio show. So I emailed back and explained what a podcast was, and apologized for assuming she already knew. I was terrified that once she realized what the show was, she'd say 'Oh, hell no.' But she didn't, and last night just before 9pm she called in and for nearly ninety minutes we basked in the incredible energy, humor, grace, and all-around grooviness that is Suzie. She was such a joy to talk with, and her enthusiasm for life is infectious. Even Kennedy, the hardened journalist, was giddy afterward. It was one of the most amazing, funny, and joyful conversations I've ever had the privilege to be a part of. And the best part is that you all will be able to hear it soon. I just need to do a bit of editing and it'll be available for download before the end of the week.

See y'all later.
Marius

Bittersweet

First of all my congratulations and thanks to Duke. I don't know if he did this intentionally, but he ensured that my neuroses would not prevent the tale I am about to recall to you. Back in June, as I related here Patrick Schrantz, aka Lord Parlan left this world. This weekend past, at an SCA event primarily held to crown the new king and queen, a memorial was planned for Parlan. Just over a week ago Duke contacted me and gave me the task of taking the audio from two of Pat's favorite old cassettes and making them into a CD to play at the memorial. This I did gladly, if with no small degree of sadness. The files were very rough, and it took enough time to clean them up that it was too late for me to back out and email them when my inner demons started trying to convince me not to make the trip. They always do this. I start thinking about all the people I won't know, or the gas and/or wear and tear the car will incur, or even what the restroom facilities will be like. Anything to talk myself out of leaving the house and interacting with 'real' people. But, since the only way to get the music there was to deliver it personally I was cornered. And I'm glad I was.

The event was two hours away, and the drive was uneventful. I went alone as my wife is trying to get time off for the end of the month for the 30th anniversary of our home SCA group. I brought our small tent, and just after setting it up under a tree out of the way I was found by my brother Rurik who insisted I camp with his household. An offer I gladly took. The rest of the afternoon was spent in pleasant conversation with friends old and new, and then finally finding Duke. One of the ways to spot older SCA folks is that if they have nothing to do in court(when the king and queen hear the populace, give out awards, etc.) they don't go. And this was no exception. Duke gathered his friend Kurn, his daughter, and me and we went to a nice little sports bar and grill for dinner, conversation, and to watch the Gators steamroll over some other team who's name is irrelevant. After dinner, and many Dr. Horrible songs, we returned to the campground to prepare for the memorial. Duke had set up a pavilion with a very nice display of pictures and artifacts from Pat's life, and there was a book to sign for his wife. I must say that Seannach, his wife, was the picture of poise that night...a night that had to be hardest on her. And while she did let the tears flow a few times, for the most part she wore a brave smile.

Duke had brought a keg of Newcastle Brown Ale, and insisted that no one could go home til it floated.(or, at one point in the evening, that it couldn't float until he went to bed, but I don't think the keg was listening) So being nothing if not obedient we all made many trips to the tap. Eventually Seannach requested that we all gather around the fire pit. It was a large circle of at least twenty people, but as folks kept coming and going the numbers are a bit vague. Seannach stood and held up a bottle of Glen Fiddich with about three fingers left in it. This was Pat's favorite tipple, and we were to take the bottle, tell a tale, toast our fallen friend, and pass it along til it was empty. This we did. Many people did. We all spoke of our friend, our companion, our helper. Everyone talked of his omnipresent smile, and his unmatched gentleness and chivalry. There were songs, and laughter, and many tears. That bottle lasted at least two hours, with people who had met him only once every bit as moved as those of us that had known him for most of our lives. A lot of drinking happened that night, but despite so many people being so drunk, it never got out of hand. The level of respect for Pat was such that even those that were stumbling drunk stayed civil and quiet. As I said to Duke at one point, it was a great party, it's just too bad the guest of honor couldn't be there. Eventually the keg obliged us by floating, and following a final round of hugs and tears we staggered to our beds.

A couple of hours later the sun rose, as did I, and I quietly snuck out of the cabin Duke had graciously allowed me to share, packed up my stuff, and headed home as the child was unattended and I hoped to get back before she woke. As I drove, quaffing gas station coffee and eating pre-packaged pastries, I realized that as much as I dreaded going to this event, I am so glad that I did. If there is, indeed, something beyond the veil, and we are privy to the actions of those we leave behind, then Pat must surely have been basking in the warmth of the love and joy he fostered, and the togetherness that those who loved him felt in the memory of that love. Surely there can be no finer legacy for any man than that.

Fare thee well, my friend. May we meet again and share the tales of our travels.

The Guild

Not too long ago I told you about Dr. Horrible's Sing Along Blog. Well the leading lady from that film, Felicia Day, has a wonderful web based show called The Guild. There are two seasons available on line so far, with a third on the way. Each season consists of twelve three to five minute long episodes, and it's brilliant. If you have ever played video games, especially online games, or know anyone who is obsessed with gaming you'll enjoy this show. Plus Felicia Day has moved to the top of my Celebrity Crush list. :-) And just to give you a taste of this fun show, here is a music video they just released. Enjoy.


Marius

You Say It's Your Birthday

Happy Birthday, Monkey!!!

And finally:

Jewelry Design - Jewelers no longer have to worry about inhaling dangerous asbestos fibers from the blocks they use as soldering bases. space shuttle heat shield tiles offer jewelers a safer soldering base with temperature resistance far beyond the 1,400 degrees Fahrenheit generated by the jeweler's torch.



Land Mine Removal Device - The same rocket fuel that helps launch the space shuttle is now being used to save lives— by destroying land mines. A flare device, using leftover fuel donated by NASA, is placed next to the uncovered land mine and is ignited from a safe distance using a battery-triggered electric match. The explosive burns away, disabling the mine and rendering it harmless.



Lifesaving Light - Special lighting technology developed for plant growth experiments on space shuttle missions is being studied to treat brain tumors in children. Doctors at the Medical College of Wisconsin in Milwaukee are working with light emitting diodes in a treatment called photodynamic therapy, a form of chemotherapy, to kill cancerous tumors.



Prosthesis Material - Responding to a request from the orthopedic appliance industry, NASA recommended that the foam insulation used to protect the shuttle's external tank replace the heavy, fragile plaster used to produce master molds for prosthetics. The new material is light, virtually indestructible and easy to ship and store.



Rescue Tool - Rescue squads have a new extrication tool to help remove accident victims from wrecked vehicles. The hand-held device requires no auxiliary power systems or cumbersome hoses and is 70 percent cheaper than previous rescue equipment. The cutter uses a miniature version of the explosive charges that separate devices on the shuttle.



Vehicle Tracking System - Tracking information originally used onboard Space Shuttle missions now helps track vehicles on Earth. This commercial spinoff allows vehicles to transmit a signal back to a home base. Municipalities today use the software to track and reassign emergency and public works vehicles. It also is used by vehicle fleet operations, such as taxis, armored cars and vehicles carrying hazardous cargo.



Video Stabilization Software - Image-processing technology used to analyze Space Shuttle launch video and to study meteorological images also helps law enforcement agencies improve crime-solving video. The technology removes defects due to image jitter, image rotation and image zoom in video sequences. The technology also may be useful for medical imaging, scientific applications and home video.

And these are just some of the 'spin-offs' that came from the space program. I am not saying that these advancements would never have happened were it not for NASA, but the fact is that the space program eats a very minor portion of the national budget, yet returns far more than just pretty pictures from space. Can anyone say that about the wars in Iraq and Iran?

Thanks for tuning in.
Marius

What Has NASA Done For You, Part 3

And the list just keeps going.

Automotive Insulation- Materials from the space shuttle thermal protection system are used on NASCAR racing cars to protect drivers from the extreme heat generated by the engines.



Balance Evaluation Systems - Devices built to measure the equilibrium of space shuttle astronauts when they return from space are widely used by major medical centers to diagnose and treat patients suffering head injury, stroke, chronic dizziness and central nervous system disorders.



Bioreactor - Developed for space shuttle medical research, this rotating cell culture apparatus simulates some aspects of the space environment, or microgravity, on the ground. Tissue samples grown in the bioreactor are being used to design therapeutic drugs and antibodies. Some scientists believe the bioreactor will routinely produce human tissue for research and transplantation.



Diagnostic Instrument - NASA technology was used to create a compact laboratory instrument for hospitals and doctor offices that more quickly analyzes blood, accomplishing in 30 seconds what once took 20 minutes.



Gas Detector - A gas leak detection system, originally developed to monitor the shuttle's hydrogen propulsion system, is being used by the Ford Motor Company in the production of a natural gas-powered car.



Infrared Camera - A sensitive infrared hand-held camera that observes the blazing plumes from the Shuttle also is capable of scanning for fires. During the brush fires that ravaged Malibu, CA in 1996, the camera was used to point out hot spots for firefighters.



Infrared Thermometer - Infrared sensors developed to remotely measure the temperature of distant stars and planets, led to the development of the hand-held optical sensor thermometer. Placed inside the ear canal, the thermometer provides an accurate reading in two seconds or less.

Tomorrow, the exciting conclusion. :-)
Marius

What Has NASA Done For You, Part 2

Here are some more of life's improvements that came from the space program.

Apollo-era Circuitry Preserves Freshness for Large-Scale Service

A hospital food service system employs a NASA cook/chill concept for serving food. The system allows staff to prepare food well in advance, maintain heat, visual appeal, and nutritional value while reducing operating costs.



Measurement Techniques Safely Monitor Hazardous Gasses

A hollow retroreflector, a mirror-like instrument that reflects light and other radiation back to the source, is used as a sensor to detect the presence of hazardous gases in oil fields, refineries, offshore platforms, chemical plants, waste storage sites, and other locations where gases could be released into the environment.



Lubricant Process Finds Myriad Applications

A process for bonding dry lubricant to space metals led to the development of surface enhancement, or synergistic, coatings, which are used in applications from pizza making to laser manufacturing. Each coating is designed to protect a specific metal group or group of metals to solve problems encountered under operating conditions, such as resistance to corrosion and wear.



Green Buildings Employ Space Suit Textiles

The same fabric used in Apollo-era space suits has been spun off into a cost-effective, environmentally-friendly building material. Used on structures around the world, the Teflon-coated fiberglass strands create a permanent, tent-like roof. Less expensive than conventional roofing materials, the durable white fabric allows natural light to shine through, saving a significant amount of energy.



Insulation Protects Alaskan Pipeline

Metal-bonded polyurethane foam insulation developed for protecting Apollo-era spacecraft was also applied to the Alaskan pipeline, where its temperature controlling properties were in high demand. In order to maintain its fluidity, the oil needs to be kept at relatively high temperatures (180 °F), a tall order in the Arctic. The NASA-derived insulation solved this problem.



Flame-Resistant Textiles Safeguard Firefighters, Soldiers

After a fire on the Apollo launch pad which resulted in the death of three astronauts, NASA worked with private industry to develop a line of fire-resistant textiles for use in space suits and vehicles. These materials are now used in numerous firefighting, military, motor sports, and other applications.



Artificial Heart - The technology used in space shuttle fuel pumps led to the development of a miniaturized ventricular assist pump by NASA and renowned heart surgeon Dr. Michael DeBakey. The tiny pump -- 2-inches long, 1-inch in diameter and weighing less than four ounces -- is currently undergoing European clinical trials where it has been successfully implanted into more than 20 people.


More tomorrow. :-)
Marius

What Has NASA Done For You, Part 1

It seems that most conversations about the manned space program these days eventually come around to the cost. Even though the budget for NASA is approximately one half of one percent of the national budget, people tend to think that all NASA does is waste money launching scientists into space. Fortunately for you, my wonderful readers, we have an Unkk on our side. He sent me a lengthy list of things that affect our daily lives that are a direct result of the manned space program. There are a lot of them, so I'll break this up over several posts, but the next time some yob mouths off about how the money could be better spent building a sport stadium, or other such nonsense, here is some ammo to use.

Cooling Suits Provide Comfort

Cool suits, which kept Apollo astronauts comfortable during moon walks, are today worn by race car drivers, nuclear reactor technicians, shipyard workers, people with multiple sclerosis and children with a congenital disorder known as hypohidrotic ectodermal dysplasia, which restricts the body’s ability to cool itself.



Recycling Fluids for Space Missions Simplifies Kidney Dialysis

Special kidney dialysis machines were created as a result of a NASA-developed chemical process that removes toxic waste from used dialysis fluid. The process saves electricity and eliminates the need for a continuous water supply, granting the patient greater freedom.



Astronaut Conditioning Equipment Keeps People Fit

A cardiovascular conditioner developed for astronauts in space led to the invention of a physical therapy and athletic development machine used by football teams, sports clinics, and medical rehabilitation centers.



Space Suit Technology Modernizes Athletic Shoes

Athletic shoe design and manufacturing also benefited from Apollo. Space suit technology is incorporated into a shoe's external shell, and a stress-free "blow molding" process adapted from NASA space suit design is used in the shoe's fabrication.



Reflective Materials Insulate Homes

Insulating barriers made of metalized foil laid over a core of propylene or mylar, which protected astronauts and their spacecraft's delicate instruments from radiation and heat, are now found in common home insulation. Vacuum metalizing techniques also led to an extensive line of commercial products, from insulated outer garments to packaging for foods, from wall coverings to window shades, from life rafts to candy wrappings, and from reflective safety blankets to photographic reflectors.



Apollo Life Support Systems Filter Water

Water purification technology used on the Apollo spacecraft is now employed in several spinoff applications to kill bacteria, viruses and algae in community water supply systems and cooling towers. Filters mounted on faucets reduce lead in water supplies.



Freeze-Dried Foods Preserve Nutrients, Increase Shelf Life

Freeze-dried food solved the problem of what to feed an astronaut on the long-duration Apollo missions. Freeze drying foods preserves nutritional value and taste, while also reducing weight and increasing shelf life.

So there's your first batch. Tune in tomorrow for more of What has NASA done for you?

Marius

Blogtober!

Catchy title, eh? Sure beats all that annoying Rocktober bullshit we'll soon be expected to chuckle at whenever the lame-ass morning DJ's spew it forth. Man, I hate morning radio!

Wait, sorry, this was supposed to be a happy occasion. Let's not bicker and argue about 'who killed who'. Let's start over.

Ok, Marius, just wtf are you getting at with this stupid title? Well, Rick, I'm glad you asked. I've been an unbelievable slacker with this here little corner of the intertubez since I started pod-casting, and I intend to make it up to you. You precious few that have stuck around during the dry spells and still find the time in your busy lives to waste some of the finite seconds of a rapidly diminishing existence in coming here. Therefore, and without further circumlocutions(or whatever the written equivalent might be, circumscribtions, maybe?) I pledge that I will post daily in October. September is just too busy to make that promise, and you deserve better than that Namblapomojo crap in November. So I declare that this year October is Blogtober here at the corner. So let it be posted...so let it be done!

Who'd have thUNKK?

So let me tell you about yesterday. Well, actually we have to go back a little over a year to when I was privileged to go to the Kennedy Space Center to watch a shuttle launch from 4 miles away due to the generosity of Unkk, internet and SCA friend and all around groovy dude. Well Unkk kinda dropped off of the internet radar for a while, but a few weeks ago he resurfaced to tell us of a new massively multiplayer online role playing game(MMORPG) called Champions. Like City of Heroes it is a superhero game, but much more customizable. Unfortunately the system requirements blow my ancient devices out of the water so I had to politely decline the invite to join him in the fight against crime. I was, however, thrilled to 'see' him again since, as he is a NASA employee, I have been dying to interview him for Starbase 66. I asked, and he quickly agreed. Then I got the thought that it would be even cooler to interview him at work, and again he agreed. So yesterday I drove across the state and met Unkk for a totally nerdgasmic day.

Our first stop in the park was lunch and we chatted and caught up a bit, then we went to the Rocket Garden. Unkk is a veritable font of information about the space program and its history. Even though I pride myself on my knowledge of such things, he taught me more in twenty minutes about the development of manned rocketry than I learned in twenty years.(and yes, that's me on the actual Apollo gantry)




We wandered the center some more and Unkk regaled me with tales of astronauts, and computers, and the wonders that the space program has brought to the world. Every now and then we'd stop and I'd record some audio for the podcast, and then we'd move on. We tried to watch an IMAX film, but the 3D part was broken, so we decided to skip it and get on the bus. As we rode about Unkk was telling me more about stuff than the drivers were with their memorized routines, for example I knew that the VAB(vehicle assembly building) is 500+ feet tall, but the pilings for it extend 400+ feet down into the ground!

This is the Pegasus, the barge that is used to transport the enormous external fuel tanks for the shuttle.


Our next stop was the area closest to the shuttle launch pads. Here you can see pad A being refurbished for the upcoming Ares program:


And here on pad B is the Discovery awaiting it's August 24th launch date.



Also on display at the launch pad viewing gantry is an actual shuttle main engine.



We then moved on to the main attraction...the mighty Saturn V. The most amazing, and complicated machine ever built by the hand of man. And this rocket is no mock-up. Unkk informed me that this was ready to either be Apollo 21, or a rescue rocket should one of the earlier missions go bad. It sat outside for years before a private company took over the Visitor Center and refurbished it, which included putting this monster in a beautiful, air-conditioned building. The only drawback is that it is impossible to get a good picture of the whole rocket, but it's still impressive as hell.






There is also an actual Lunar Module there:



And the actual Apollo 14 capsule(with a special guest star)


Unfortunately it wasn't all happy times and physics talk. There is an unpleasant, yet beautiful part of the center where the US astronauts that have given their lives in the line of duty are memorialized. Apollo 1:


Challenger and Columbia:



And for all:


Then we went back to the Unkk house where Unkkwife and the two Unkklings graciously treated me to an amazing dinner, and then Unkk bestowed upon me a totally incredible computer that he had been tinkering with so that I might join him in the new game. We finished up the interview, and then I drove home. It was an amazing day, spent with one of the hoopiest froods ever to walk the planet. The interviews will be compiled into a podcast that will go out in a couple of weeks, but I just want to thank Daniel(Unkk's real name) and his family for their incredibly warm hospitality and friendship, not to mention the deliciousness that is Irish Lasagna. This was a day that will definitely go on the highlight reel of my life.

Unkk rocks! :-)
Marius

Too Cool!

Fear

Emotion: Agitation or disturbance of mind. A vehement or excited mental state.

Quotes from the Rocky Horror Picture Show notwithstanding, emotions can be a real pain in the ass. Today I'd like to talk about fear. As children we all learn that the most obvious way we can exert some manner of control over those around us is to lie in wait until they walk by, and then jump at them with a loud 'BOO!' When they scream, yell, jump, whatever, we giggle like crazed monkeys and wait for the next chance to try again. And when that same trick was pulled on us, some of us liked it. I, however, never liked it. And I still don't. Fear, to some, is like a drug, and they can't get enough. To me it's like a stab in the entrails. Fight or flight is not a pleasant sensation which is why I don't care for roller coasters, most amusement park rides, and most relevant to today's post, scary movies.

I have told you all of my 'imaginary' friends from the Simply Syndicated forums, and of the recent challenge that got me to watch The Godfather. I didn't particularly want to watch The Godfather, but I knew that, at worst, I'd be bored for a couple of hours. It turned out I wasn't, and the result of the challenge was that the lad who challenged me is now as big a Star Trek fan as any I've met, and I didn't want the two hours of my life back, so it was all good. The other day, however, the gauntlet was picked up by another forum member who challenged me to watch El Orfanato(The Orphanage). This is a ghost movie, and a rather scary one. I had heard reviews of the film, and listened to spoilers since I had no intention of ever watching it, so I tried to beg off the challenge. He promised to watch both The Blair Witch Project and The Exorcist if I watched El Orfanato. I countered that I hated Blair Witch, and had no need to further the cause of The Exorcist. He then recontered with 2001 and Planet of the Apes. Now the hook was set. I asked my wife is she wanted to see this film, as she is a fan of the horror genre. "I already have," quoth she, "it's really good." Shit! She was weaned on Freddy Kruger and Jason Voorhees, so if she thought it was good I was doomed to be a gibbering mess by the end credits. "But," she continued, "this movie shouldn't mess with your head." Hmmm, she knows what a wuss I am when it comes to scary movies, and I have heard nothing but rave reviews of El Orfanato, and I know how it ends. Ok, I'll man up and watch the damned thing.

So I sallied forth without so much as a tweet as to my intentions and rented the DVD. It was broad daylight when I started the movie, and might I say it is an excellent film. It is not so much scary as creepy, and I really wish I had watched it without the benefit of knowing the truth about what was going on, as the uncertainty is the main strength of the film, but everything about this movie is beautiful. The sets are gorgeous in their Gothic creepiness, the acting is superb, and the pacing is the perfect slow ramp-up to the horrific conclusion. It is a Spanish film, so if subtitles are a problem you might want to give this one a miss, but if you don't mind reading your movie it is an excellent experience. Plus, armed with my foreknowledge of the story, it didn't scare me...or so I thought.

Later, after the sun went down and my wife went to bed, I found myself in my usual place here at the computer, with very few lights on, listening to a podcast. Then the creepy scenes from the movie, especially the kid with the scarecrow mask, started tickling the back of my brain, and not in a good way. Not too long after that one of the cats decided to knock something over in the COA's bedroom. I managed not to jump too high, or emit any sort of girly scream, but just barely. Then the A/C kicked on, and when that happens the filter is pulled up against the duct with a sound that is not really noticeable when there is activity in the house, but in the quiet of the night, when I am listening to muted voices in my headphones and am already on edge, it is enough to make me want to jump out of my skin. I really don't understand why people like that feeling, but it just makes me angry. I don't like to be scared. Finally I decided the best course of action was to take an Ambien and go to bed. Fortunately such scares rarely attack me in my sleep, and my worst dream last night involved Warner Brothers sending me a cease and desist letter about something I put in a podcast, and today I feel fine. I usually only need twenty-four hours or so for the scare to wear off, but I won't know for sure until tonight.

I think maybe I'll watch Airplane again just to be safe.


Marius the Spooked

Starbuck Plays Fetch(but who is playing whom?)

On Summer Travels, or Lack Thereof

Home is an interesting word. I have always called West Palm Beach, Florida home. No matter where I lived, or how long I lived there, whenever I said I was going home it meant to WPB. Then I got married and we moved to Louisiana. My wife asked me not to call WPB home so that our daughter could more readily adjust to our new family unit, and I agreed since it made sense that wherever the three of us were should be home. But I still slipped from time to time. Since we've returned to the Sunshine State, and since my job allows me a couple of months off each summer, I've gone home for a week or so each year. Then, as most of you know, in December my mom died rather suddenly. Christmas is another time when I get way too much time off, so I would go home for the holidays, or at least some of them. This year was no exception, except that I was surprised to find that I couldn't bear to be home, and left after only a couple of days. In talking to my friends it would seem that I was the only one surprised by this. To borrow an old phrase from Robin Williams, come inside my mind and I'll attempt to explain why I was so surprised.

For most of my adult life I have been a little too self aware. Truly spontaneous emotional responses are somewhat rare, and even on the occasion that I find myself out of control, say when something actually makes me cry, there is a part of my mind sitting back bemused at the tears. In fact anger seems to be the only emotion that takes me unawares these days, and I hate that. But when my mom died...the moment when the hospice nurse said, "she has passed" I burst into tears. I know this is to be expected, but I didn't expect it. During the next week I was so busy with funeral arrangements, obituaries, etc. that I didn't do much mourning, but I did cry at the service. Then we all went home. A couple of weeks later was when I made my abortive attempt to go back home.

Now it's summer again, and I've been free from the shackles of a daily grind for nearly two months, and I have yet to make it home. Granted we did have our week long journey to New England not too long ago, but I have had plenty of time to head south, yet haven't. My air conditioner in my car died several months ago, and it would cost more than the car is worth to fix, and I have been convincing myself that this is the reason I don't want to make the four hour drive. But I have come to realize that I don't think I'm ready to go back yet, and that is even more puzzling to me. My mom and I were on good terms, and I definitely loved her, but we weren't overly close. We all know people whose parents are not just parents, but close friends. You may even be one of those lucky few. I am not. When I did get home I'd see my folks a couple of times, fix some stuff, wash the dog, and that was about it. We'd talk on the phone once a month or so, and email from time to time, and that was normal for us. My mom was never one to wear her emotions on her sleeve, except when she was angry(yeah, I see the pattern too)but we got along fine. So it's not like a trip home would involve being aware of all the time we're not spending together. I just don't understand, but I do know that it would be a mistake to force myself to do something I'm not ready for, so I hope all of you down there understand that, and for once this is the absolute truth, it's not you, it's me. I can't say when I'll be home again, but I know I'll get over this eventually. Please be patient with me and know that I love you all, and I will come home eventually...I just can't say when yet.

Greatest...Pic...EVAR!!

Unexpected Visitors

One of the groovy things about living in Florida is all the cool wildlife. We have big, beautiful birds, weird giant insects, and reptiles that will annoy, bemuse, and given half a chance, eat you. But the other day this trio wandered through our neighborhood, quite oblivious to the odd sight they made.