...And We're Baaaaaaack!

Hiya, Folks, and welcome to the first all new, no-bitching, non-video edition of The Corner for quite some time. It's Saturday, and I got more sleep last night than usual, and for once the day is going well. I just finished a huge bowl of chocolate pudding and I'm a ready for some bloggin'!

In science news, the International Astronomical Union has finally nailed down a definition of what constitutes a planet. In their words, a planet is: " a celestial body with sufficient mass to assume a nearly spherical shape that orbits a star without being another star or a satellite of another planet." So what, you might ask, but if you have kids this will affect you more than you might guess. Remember our carefree youth, when we only had to memorize 9 planets? Mercury, Venus, Earth, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune, and Pluto. Well, your kids will now have to recall 12 heavenly bodies: Mercury, Venus, Earth, Mars, Ceres, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune, Pluto-Charon (now classified as a double planet) and the newly discovered and officially unnamed 2003 UB313(aka Xena). Plus they are considering a new classification for objects that, like Pluto, take more than 200 years to orbit Sol and have eccentric orbits, i.e. not in the same direction as the other planets, or moving outside the plane of the ecliptic. These trapped wanderers will be known as Plutons. Personally I don't know if I like this or not. Ultimately I guess it doesn't really matter, but I would like to reserve planetary status for the big boys, but that's just me. What this does portend, however, is that like Baltic cartographers, astronomers will have to change their charts every time a better telescope comes on-line.

Ok, it's Sunday now. My mom called in the midst of the last paragraph, and I am just now getting back to the old keyboard. I imagine that everyone knows that they have apprehended a suspect in the 10-year-old murder of Jon-Benet Ramsey. This guy makes Jeffrey Dahmer seem well adjusted, and I don't really want to go into all the details of this creep here, but I will say this. I have serious doubts that he did it. I have a feeling in my gut that this clown, while a pedophile and child pornography patron, is merely looking for his fifteen minutes while living out his sick fantasy that he actually had anything to do with this horrific crime. If I'm wrong I'll gladly recant, and if he's convicted I'll volunteer to pull the switch on the chair, but I just don't think he's the guy.

Snakes on a Plane. I didn't really have any desire to see this movie until I saw Samuel L. Jackson on The Daily Show this week. There are a few celebs that are obviously friends with Stewart and it is so much fun to watch them on the show, and Jackson is one of them. Seeing him talk about how much fun he had making this movie is infectious, and the way he and Jon get along is so much fun. It reminds me of the old days of Letterman when Charles Grodin would come on, and they'd spend 15 minutes insulting each other. There's a feeling of being a fly on the wall of the interviewer's living room that makes it all the more enjoyable. When it hits video I imagine we'll rent it and have a good laugh.

And finally, in the Incredibly Pointless Science Projects category, Dutch zookeepers are looking to allow their orangutans to 'date' via the internet with Indonesian orangs. Via the connection they'll be able to push a button that gives their paramours a food treat. The intention is to see if there is compatibility, and hopefully future mating. What's the catch? Well, the cost of transporting the apes is prohibitive, so ultimately the exercise is all for naught. But, if it improves the morale of captive orangs I say just create a CD based program that simulates the process. If Dr. Zaius pushes a button that says he wants to give his digital hottie a pellet, who is to know if the swinger on the screen is real or simulated. It saves the expense of real time communication, and the technology goes back to the first CD based arcade game Dragonslayer. Hey, we're all primates at heart, and if we can let our captive distant cousins get a bit of virtual orangu-tang, why not.

Ok, true believers, this is your friendly neighborhood Marius signing off for now. And let me just say that Sake is, quite possibly, the greatest contribution the Japanese have made to the world. :-)

Namaste, my friends.