When it comes to helping people, Richard Smoker is your man. Dick Smoker is a compassionate, fiscal conservative who once stayed in the same city as Ronald Regan and even wrote a letter to our greatest president.
Heywood Jablowme, on the other hand, has never voted against the over six-hundred tax raises enacted since the tax act of 1874! Jablowme regularly strangles puppies in his den and uses them to polish the skulls of the orphan nuns he murdered in 1975.
Dick Smoker opposes all forms of taxation, and wants to deport every homosexual and illegal alien in the state. Dick Smoker is endorsed by the NRA, PTA, IRA, ROTF, LMAO, and The Lord God Almighty Himself. If elected governer Dick Smoker will give every man, woman, and child their very own jar of rescued embryos to raise in a good, Christian way.
Heywood Jablowme worships the devil, and if elected will kill and eat every first born male child in the state. Jablowme hates the United States, and often plays Scrabble with Osama Bin Laden while burning flags and P.O.W. bracelets.
Who would you rather have in the capitol? Dick Smoker, a decorated veteran and close personal friend of Jesus, or Heywood Jablowme, a vile, blood-drinking ghoul who despises you and your entire familY?
The choice is obvious.
I'm Dick Smoker, and God and I approved this message.