Wednesday, August 30, 2006

And Now a Paid Political Message

When it comes to helping people, Richard Smoker is your man. Dick Smoker is a compassionate, fiscal conservative who once stayed in the same city as Ronald Regan and even wrote a letter to our greatest president.

Heywood Jablowme, on the other hand, has never voted against the over six-hundred tax raises enacted since the tax act of 1874! Jablowme regularly strangles puppies in his den and uses them to polish the skulls of the orphan nuns he murdered in 1975.

Dick Smoker opposes all forms of taxation, and wants to deport every homosexual and illegal alien in the state. Dick Smoker is endorsed by the NRA, PTA, IRA, ROTF, LMAO, and The Lord God Almighty Himself. If elected governer Dick Smoker will give every man, woman, and child their very own jar of rescued embryos to raise in a good, Christian way.

Heywood Jablowme worships the devil, and if elected will kill and eat every first born male child in the state. Jablowme hates the United States, and often plays Scrabble with Osama Bin Laden while burning flags and P.O.W. bracelets.

Who would you rather have in the capitol? Dick Smoker, a decorated veteran and close personal friend of Jesus, or Heywood Jablowme, a vile, blood-drinking ghoul who despises you and your entire familY?

The choice is obvious.

I'm Dick Smoker, and God and I approved this message.


pikaresque said...

Oh, Marius....
are you too getting too
many messages left on your
answering machine asking/begging
for your vote this fall???
We are...and you've at least
found a temporary relief from
the giant deludge of

God Bless You Heywood Jablowme
and all your multiple personalities!


ps: Vote early and often

Anonymous said...

I don't know about anyone else, but I'm voting for YOU! You have at least as good a shot as the other assholes they keep offering up to us. And God knows, you'd do a far better job. And if you didn't, at least we'd be laughing!

Monkey said...

Political action getting a bit heated down South?
Just a few more weeks- then they will all go back to ignoring us when they are not flipping us off while stuffing their gullets with tax-payer bought caviar and champange purchased from widow's pensions