Tuesday, December 06, 2005

What Happens If You Drop a Superball Into a Pachinko Game?

Grab a mushroom and get comfy, young'ns, and Uncle Marius will open the drain pan of his cerebrum and dump some thought juice at ya. The she-beast that rules my life, and sucks at the very marrow of my sleep patterns--the Theatre--has released me for a brief time after keeping me buried in her ample bosom for a couple of weeks. But the show hath opened, and slumbers til Friday, so now I must merely deal with recitals and concerts...annoying, yet infinately easier. So what shall we talk about?

Revenge of the scrote, part III. You have seen pictures, and read beaming commentary about the newest members of the Marius compound...the momma cat, Artemis and her darling baby, Starbuck. We have been laboring under the belief that Starbuck was a little girl kitten, but last night I noticed, as 'she' was running down the hall, that there were some decidedly not-feminine bulges below 'her' tail. "Honey," quoth I in summons to Mrs. Marius, "me thinks Starbuck is not quite the little girl we took her to be." "Oh,yeah, I noticed that yesternight." was the matter-of-fact reply. This explains much, for 'tis the male of the feline species that is oft the snuggliest, and this critter is definately of that ilk. His mother, on the other hand, is currently whoring around the neighborhood in a most immodest way, seeking to bestow upon us many more hungry mouths. But fear not, gentle readers. Unbeknownst to the fuzzy harlot, she has a date with a goodly doctor in a scant 13 days, who shall from her gently take all that kitten making stuff. And then shall we draw up our plans to remove the newly found nardlings from Starbuck, hopefully before he discovers his sprayer. Hmm, I wonder if they make neuticles for cats...

At his trial today, Saddam Hussein complained that his quarters were uncomfortable, and that he was being tortured because he couldn't exercise or smoke. Let us all have a brief moment of pity for the poor wretch. (is it possible to experience an emotion for less than a nanosecond?)

The white suit John Lennon wore on the Abbey Road album cover recently sold for $118,000 at an auction in Las Vegas. Dead guys get all the breaks.

Well, it would seem that the brain-pan runs shallow this day. Thanks for dropping by, drive safely, and watch out for the penguins.


1 comment:

pikaresque said...

I believe you are being vexed by some "Scrote from the past" that you have personally wronged.
All of these "Scrote Hauntings" are no coincidence, my friend.
I wouldn't be in your shoes for all the teeth in Julia Roberts' mouth!
It's clear you must summon the spirit of said "Scrote" and implore it, or even worse "them" to bannish their "hanging around" your life. (hanging around.....)
You may even have to offer up some sort of "appeasement" to said "Scrote", but I can't even imagine what would appease a pissed off "Bye-Gone Scrote-of-Death".
Good Luck, Sonny.

P.S. I find it furthur NO coincidence that my friends Bar is named "The Smuggled Plum"
and that our pretend band that we haven't started yet is called..."Bannana Hammock".
P :-)