Friday, May 14, 2010
A Message From Mars
A few years back someone handed me Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus, and I read it. Most of it was common sense stuff and touchy-feely New Age pop-psychology, but there was one nugget of truth that actually was useful. In a nutshell it said that when men discuss a problem, they are trying to work out a solution. When women discuss a problem, they just want a sympathetic ear and are not necessarily looking for suggestions on how to solve said problem. The problem is that we genuinely need to try to solve these problems eventually. Especially me. It's what I do for a living. So if you've got a problem, say with your significant other, and you want to talk to me about it, I'll do my best to simply listen, commiserate, and only if asked offer advice. But, if the situation continues, and your guy, hypothetically, continues to treat you like shit, and you refuse to do anything about it my need to fix will outweigh your need to just be listened to. And the longer this goes on, the more frustrated I will get until eventually we'll run the risk of damaging our own friendship. So what I'm saying is that guys should learn to listen to their female friends/lovers/spouses, but ladies need to learn that if you're in a lousy situation that you have the power to change, but won't, we can only be a sympathetic ear for so long before we start telling you how to fix it, or go away...or both.