I had no idea. No idea at all just how all-consuming being a parent is. I mean I've been a step-parent for nearly a decade now, but this is so very different. The CoA is a relatively self-sufficient creature, able to be left alone for increasingly longer periods, and aside from a damnable angsty attitude is fairly autonomous. But the baby...the baby. Don't get me wrong, I adore her and would fight a Balrog wearing only a Saran Wrap thong and wielding a celery stick to protect her if need be, but by Grabthar's hammer I miss me. Every morning is spent desperately trying to get my coffee down and my email checked before those familiar little noises coming from the monitor turn into the full-throated wails of the now awake and hungry Sharon. The rest of the morning is a game of 'let's see how long daddy can sneak away to wash dishes, or get big sister out of bed, or Heaven forbid eat some breakfast before baby starts crying'. Then it's bottles, play, carry, change, play, bottle, rock, sleep, rinse, repeat. Then after work it's the balancing act between mommy and daddy to make sure neither of us gets unfairly put upon, although my lack of functioning mammary glands does make that somewhat difficult, but since I do most of the non-lactation related food prep I consider that an even balance. Finally, anywhere between 7-8:30 the baby falls asleep for the night...well, at least until around midnight-2am when she'll wake up and want more to eat. Then Mrs. Marius turns in, and I have the house to myself. I have so many things I want to do. Blog, edit my podcast, play Oblivion, but as soon as I sit down at the computer my eyelids become two lead sheets, and I'm usually in bed by 9:30 having accomplished nothing. Then it all starts again, though sometimes I'm up as early as 4:30 because the little one makes a lot of noise in her sleep, and sometimes it's hard to tell the difference between a sleep cry and an awake cry. So, as you might imagine, I'm a tad frazzled of late.
Also, a week ago last Thursday, my wife was in a car wreck. Fortunately is a was a low speed collision where no one got hurt, and was not her fault, but we are now dealing with getting her car fixed and worrying about them fixing all the damage vs just totaling the car and giving us a fraction of what we'd need to buy something else, so that's an extra frazzlation. At least they've paid for a rental so we're not down a vehicle. Plus my car is on its last legs, having given me sixteen years and 270,000 miles, but our tax return should cover a down payment on a newer car, but I hate buying a car.
So, in a nutshell that's why I've been terribly absent. I hope that if any of you are still reading this that all is well with you, and rest assured I still read your stuff. Now if you'll excuse me I have to go wash something.
Oh, and that picture is Sharon this weekend. We went to a very nice park with this great raised boardwalk/nature trail. Sharon, when surrounded by the bounteous beauty of nature, wanted only to look at the boards of the boardwalk while being carried, and to chew on her stroller when being wheeled about. I love her, but she's weird.
Marius
