As The Arachnid Turns

Spiderman, Spiderman, does whatever a half-transexual, lesbian clone pretending to be a wealthy business person, but is really an international jewel thief can...


Now I like good character development as much as the next person, but the soap opera at the center of Spiderman 3 takes things a bit too far. The action in the new flick is great, and they have made great strides in making the CGI portions of the film look more lifelike, but there is this huge section in the middle that is all about love, and doubt, and responsibility, and self-sacrifice, and putting your loved one before yourself, and...zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. Talk, talk, talk, weep, scowl, talk, blah, pout, cry some more, etc.

When the film isn't being boring it's awesome, but the slow pace almost makes me long for Ang Lee to get involved. As in the previous two there is a great cameo by Bruce Campbell, and Topher Grace pulls off 'scumbag' really well, but there is this emotional tug-of-war with Mary Jane that I just don't get. Sure Kirsten Dunst is attractive(not my cup of tea, but I understand why folks dig her) but the character doesn't do much other than act as a convenient hostage and angst generator.

Anyway, I won't suggest you don't go see it, since I'm pretty sure you all want to, and it's not horrible, just a bit dull at points. Maybe the director's cut will break the mold and be 20 minutes shorter. That would improve the film immensely.

Your friendly, neighborhood Marius.

Show Your ID Card To The Border Guard Part II

Dateline Nashville, Tennessee. It's December,2006, and an American Airlines flight makes an emergency landing after passengers and crew smell smoke in the cabin. The plane lands safely, and the source of the burning smell is uncovered. A female passenger, embarrassed by her continuous flatulence, has been lighting matches to cover the smell.


I love this country!!

Marius

Muchas Gracias!

Thank you to all of you wonderful folks who have posted such a plethora of congratulations on my new gig. I love you all!

Marius the Blessed

45 Nights in Paris

Fully realizing the irony of my complaining here about Paris Hilton's so called ubiquity on the news, I'm going to do so again, although with a bit of gloating thrown in just because I can. Just in case you have missed the recent events, our beloved heiress, whose only talent I can fathom is a total lack of a gag reflex, is going to jail.


You know what, in trying to research this story so I can use pertinent details and accurate commentary I just threw up a little. I can't stand her so much that I can't even tolerate reading about her going to jail. I'll just pray that we get a 45 day reprieve from her, and can go on about our business.

Marius

Oh, Targon...

click on the picture to enlarge.




Weregeek.com

And There Was Much Rejoicing...

Approximately 30 minutes ago I got a call from the Dean of Faculty at Eckerd College. He had spoken with the Theatre faculty, and was pleased to offer me the position of Technical Theatre Coordinator beginning in July.

Free at last!
Free at last!

Thank God Almighty, I'm free at last!!!!!!!!!!!!


Ivory tower, here I come. :-)

Marius the Collegiate

Boycott? Girlcott?

The ever erudite and suave Herr Meeresschildkröte (it's German) pointed out after I opined about the Imus flap that corporations seem to be above Constitutional law when punishing employees for what they say in public. He proposed boycotting institutions that employ such tactics. I agree with both statements, but that brings to mind a further quandary. Do boycotts work? Has any company ever capitulated because a certain group decided to cease to patronize said company? I am reminded of the famous Disney boycott by Southern Baptists a few years back. The wonderfully tolerant Christians called for a boycott of Disney because they offered benefits to the partners of gay employees. Last year they called off the boycott. Not because Disney ceased to be so liberal with the bennies, but because the boycott had all the effect of a flea trying to eat an elephant. And then there is the perennial 'don't buy gas on 'X' day' emails that circulate once or twice a year. I'm still paying $3 a gallon.

I don't argue that boycotts can't be effective. On a local level I'm sure they can be quite powerful. But trying to get a majority of the country to stop doing something they like/need/want to do is nigh impossible. I even see it in myself. Every time I walk into a Wal-Mart I think "This evil corporation has displaced hundreds of Mom and Pop shops, abused it's employees, bought stuff from Asian sweat shops, and...oh look, $10 jeans!"

It seems to me to be an interesting phenomenon. The Internet has increased our awareness of all the evils of the world, yet seems to have decreased our involvement. If it takes more than a quick click to register our outrage it's just too much work. Then again, many people probably take the same view I do, which is that keeping my own family above water is so much work that I don't have the energy to 'do' anything about the thousand natural shocks that human flesh is heir to. Leave that to the young and single. The problem is that today's youth is even more apathetic than we were. And with good reason. When millions protested against invading Iraq, the Shrub Prince continued to spout the lies that the country was behind him. How can anyone get behind 'A Noble Cause' when they know that it is, ultimately, pointless. Corporations do run the world, and we happily let them. Profit margins and bottom lines are the true lawgivers now, and while that makes them highly vulnerable to whims in the market, there aren't enough Harolds in the flock to try to teach the other sheep how to fly. So long as we get our digital cable, our high-speed Internet, and can lose inches of ugly fat while we sleep, we remain passive and controlled. And when someone like Imus ruffles the wrong feathers, they get swept away by the prescribed tide of artificial outrage generated by the spin doctors who decide which transgressions are unforgivable this year.

This tirade may sound like conspiracy theory of the highest fertilizer grade, but I assure you that I don't for a minute believe there is any conspiracy. In fact I believe just the opposite. The only thing that keeps us from a full-on Blade Runner/Brave New World life is that the only thing more important to the corporations than keeping us in line, is hosing the other corps. They are stroking us with one hand, and stabbing them with the other, so it evens out a bit.

IMHO, of course. :-)

TTFN

Please Enjoy This While Your Party is Being Reached

You are The Magician

Skill, wisdom, adaptation. Craft, cunning, depending on dignity.

Eleoquent and charismatic both verbally and in writing,
you are clever, witty, inventive and persuasive.

The Magician is the male power of creation, creation by willpower and desire. In that ancient sense, it is the ability to make things so just by speaking them aloud. Reflecting this is the fact that the Magician is represented by Mercury. He represents the gift of tongues, a smooth talker, a salesman. Also clever with the slight of hand and a medicine man - either a real doctor or someone trying to sell you snake oil.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

Free Speech Isn't Totally Free

Bill of Rights
Amendment I
Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the government for a redress of grievances.

I am a big fan of the above words. They are the fundamental backbone of what you are reading right now. The government is forbidden, except in very specific circumstances, from punishing people for what they say in public. Unfortunately too many people take this to mean that freedom of speech equals freedom from responsibility for what they say. And therein lies the misunderstanding. I know this is somewhat stale news, but I would like to address the Imus flap in this context. For those of you who don't know, talk show host Don Imus referred to the female basketball players from Rutgers as 'nappy headed ho's' on his radio show a few weeks ago. Of course this touched off a firestorm of racial indignation, and ultimately lead to Imus being fired. Some would like to see his ouster as a violation of the First Amendment, but I strongly disagree. The Constitution only applies to the Government. Imus has not been prosecuted. He does not face legal action. He got fired because his comments, which were probably no worse than any number of other comments he has made in his many decades as a 'shock jock', angered enough people that his advertisers removed their support. T'was booty killed this beast. For all its protestations of art for art's sake, and freedom of the airwaves, money is the true lifeblood of broadcasting. And that money comes from advertisers who want you and me to buy their stuff. Who can blame companies for not wanting to be associated with someone who, in this obnoxiously PC time in which we live in, appears to be an insensitive racist? I don't agree with it. I don't think it's fair. But it is the reality of the world. In a country where a single moment of unrestrained exuberance can derail an entire presidential campaign, why should we be surprised when an aging loudmouth gets canned for being a pig?

Anyway, just my two cents. Ok, show's over, go on about your business.

Marius

happy birthday to me...woo...hoo.

And yet another birthday dominated by work...although this one was slightly different because on this birthday I actually got to bleed. Just a word of advice, folks. When using an angle grinder, the hand guard is not just a decoration.

Anywhoo, my lovely wife got me a groovy Blue Oyster Cult album/dvd, and my friend Mayi sent me the original King Kong(dvd, not the monkey), so I'm quite happy. My day began with Starbuck standing on my tummy at 4am, and then going to work at 8, and then the aforementioned bloodletting, but I guess it hasn't been a total wash since the work day ended around 3:30.

Yesterday was kinda weird, since I had to go to work as well, but as I passed the University of Tampa I saw Darth Vader and a TIE fighter pilot standing on the sidewalk. Not really a usual sight round these parts. No Star Destroyers in the sky, so I guess we are safe from the Empire for a little while. Now if only I could find a used Tauntaun store...

Eckerd college emailed me asking for supplemental materials, so that's a good sign I hope.

And that's about it for today. How was your weekend?

Love ya's,
Marius the Old

Turtle Asks...

Here's how it works: Leave me a comment saying "interview me!"- I will respond by e-mailing you five questions. I get to pick them, and you have to answer them all.- You will update your blog with the answers to the questions.- You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post - When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them 5 questions.

Preguntas de Senior Tortuga:


1. If you could be someone else for a day, who would it be?

Hmm, anyone? Janeane Garofalo. She is brilliant, lovely, and really cool. Plus I think it would benefit most men to spend at least one day as a woman.

2. Name one thing that you know now that you wish you knew 20 years ago.
That the seemingly smallest, most insignificant actions can have huge consequences.

3. Name the one thing that you own (talking material possessions here), that you adore above all others, and why? I have a chess table that my father made that I use as a night stand. It has been either next to my bed, or somewhere in my room for as long as I can remember. It's nothing fancy, but it is one of the few things of my dad's that we got.

4. What has blogging done for you? Blogging has made me a part of a large, and growing community. I was one of the last people to 'get' the Internet, and I had heard about blogs, but never thought much about them. Then I started this blog mainly with the intention of chronicling my move from Louisiana back to Florida, but suddenly I found myself putting far more here than just 'today we boxed up more books'. And before I knew it I was looking at things not just from an experiential perspective, but from a 'I should blog about this' perspective. Then I started reading other people's blogs, and before long I had pen pals in different states, and even different countries. There is even one young lady who I found on a video blog she used to be associated with, and is now blogging for a major news organization, who knows 'Marius' as one of her more frequent commenters. I enjoy putting my thoughts and opinions out there, and I enjoy even more when folks read and comment. I especially like it when someone disagrees with me. I like to grapple, verbally. And it has helped me stay in touch with some of the folks, amphibious and otherwise, that mean the most to me.

5. What three words do you say most often?
Lately, God damn it!! (and I know that I really shouldn't use that particular one, but it just sort of slips out.)

Let's Just Take a Deep Breath

The news has been relentlessly bleak and horrific lately, and I scoured my sources for something uplifting, funny, or even less than tragic to bring you today, but I couldn't find anything. Even the wierd stuff was depressing. So, without further ado, I give you cute critters.

LOTR, Muppet Style

Thanks to Turtle for this one.

Brief Update

Wednesday evening I had a very nice interview with the Theatre faculty at Eckerd College in St. Pete. They are some of the nicest, most relaxed folks I've met in quite some time. I was there for nearly two hours, and the time flew by. We began with the usual round table 'tell us who you are and why we want you' Q&A, then they took me on a tour of the facilities. The place is old, and needs lots of TLC, but it is one of the most original layouts I've ever seen, and has that wonderful 'old theatre' smell that, unless you've experienced it, it's impossible to describe. The Lake Worth Playhouse has that smell. The only drawbacks are a 40 mile commute(which just means I can catch up on book tapes), and the fact that the interviewers don't know what the pay is. But I got a wonderful vibe from the place, and I think I could be quite happy there.

As for USF, HCC, and the theatre in Coral Springs, so far nothing new.

Ok, time to be a teacher. See ya!!

Love and kisses,
Marius

George Bush Loves Gay People

WhatWhatWHAT?! You heard me. George Bush, and the entire RNC for that matter, loves gay people. And abortionists, too. Here's my reasoning. Every election Democrats try to campaign on important issues: health care, campaign finance reform, tax reform, etc. And each year(except the most recent one) they get stomped like a Narc at Bike Week because even though people realize that these are the truly important issues, they are more complicated than Kim Jong Il's psyche chart. The Republicans, on the other hand, know how to jerk the knees of thier constituents. If gays are allowed to marry, can human sacrifice be far behind? Blastocysts are babies too, albeit microscopic bundles of less than 1oo cells, but babies nonetheless, and it is far more dignified for the hundreds of unused embryos in in vitro clinics to go into the garbage than it is for them to go into stem cell labs. I'm sure the Shrub Prince gives prayers of thanks to his God for the boon of issues that affect a very few, yet piss off so very many.

Ok, I'm done for the night. TTFN.

Marius

The Triangle Abides

The Grim Reaper's unholy triumverate is complete. Don Ho, famous Hawaiian lounge singer and maker of the miniscule aquatic air pockets, has gone to the great luau in the sky. I can't say I was a huge fan, but when I was but a pup we used to frequent a Polynesian lounge/restaurant in Connecticut called the HuKi Lau(I think that's the right spelling). It was cool for my brother and me because it was all spooky tribal masks and colored lights. There were the ladies in the grass skirts, and the guys swinging bolos and dancing with flaming spears. And there was the Kahuna Nui of the Connecticut Lounge Lizards, Duke Galai. I honestly can't say if he was talented or not, since I had to be all of 8 or 9 the last time we were there, but I am sure he owed more than a little of his success to Mr. Ho. Oh, and the best part of that place, for us kids anyway, was the Pu-Pu Platter. If you don't know what it is, it's an appetizer plate with various finger foods, and in the center of the thing is a tiny hibachi. Yeah, they would give my brother and me a little fire to play with. And it was called Pu-Pu. It just doesn't get any better than that for a little boy.

Oh, yeah, rest in peace Don.

Mope

I want my nights, my first name, and my life back.

A Crappy Question

Why is it that if someone says that their dog crapped in the living we just think, 'well, that's mildly annoying.', but if there is a news report that includes the term 'human feces' we get totally grossed out? Is it because human offal is considered to be worse than animal leavings, or is it because there is the implication that one or more of our supposedly enlightened species took the time to excrete in an inappropriate place?


Yes, be glad you do not have to live with these thoughts 24/7. I envy you.

Marius

Curses!

My wife and I had hoped to go to our first SCA event in five years later this month. Then, of course, the little thing going on in my theatre that weekend that I thought didn't need my presence grew to a giant show that I cannot avoid. So, no St. Val's for Lord Wihtgar.



Shit.

Johnny Hart, Dead Too.

I can't believe I missed this one. Johnny Hart, creator of B.C. and The Wizard of Id died on April 7th. When I was a kid there were two comic(as in newspaper comics, not superhero) books I used to collect. B.C. and Garfield. I loved B.C. In fact there are some lines from those books that my brother and I still quote to this day. (Scudzo! The mouthwash that really scrolls your nurd!) Harts humor then was silly, clever, and accessible to all ages. Granted in recent years he became more preachy and religious in his comics, but he never stopped being amusing. I often forget how much I used to enjoy B.C., and The Wizard of Id to a lesser extent, but there will always be a place in my fondest memories of those comics, and I truly hope that Hart has gone on to that Heaven he so strongly believed in.

R.I.P. Johnny.

Marius

Kurt Vonnegut, Dead.

Kurt Vonnegut passed away yesterday at the age of 84. He fell a few weeks ago, suffering brain damage, and finally succumbed to his injuries. I am a huge fan of his work. I read Slaughterhouse 5 when I was in high school, but I was way too young to appreciate it. It was many years later that I picked up The Sirens of Titan and realized what a sardonic genius Vonnegut was. My favorite book of his, by far, is Timequake. In it there is a ripple in time in which everyone on Earth is forced to relive a twenty year period, fully aware that they are reliving it, but totally helpless to change anything. I highly recommend it.

Many of my favorite quotes come from Vonnegut, including one I used for years as my signature line for my emails. "If you really want to hurt your parents, and you haven't the nerve to be a homosexual, the least you can do is go into the arts." Brilliant!

If you haven't read any of his work, please do so. If you have, pause a moment to remember a great writer.

Rest in peace, Kurt. You've earned it.

Marius

Scott Adams for President

Please read this latest from the creator of Dilbert. I wish I had written it.

Dilbert Blog.

Gay Marriage+ Mickey Mouse

I know many people that have worked for Disney, and the company is notorious for draconian treatment of employees, but on the civil rights front Disney is coming out(heh heh) as a front runner for tolerance. They have been taking flak for years by religious conservatives, mostly Southern Baptists, for having 'Gay Day' at the parks, and for extending employees' benefits to same sex partners, but Disney knows something that the Southern Baptist Convention hasn't figured out yet. There are a lot more gay men and women who want to get married at Disneyland/world than there are Baptists who don't. And while happiness is mandatory at Walt's parks, it's the almighty dollar that truly makes Mickey's eyes light up. While the parks on both coasts allowed same sex couples to book vow renewal ceremonies, the actual wedding package (which includes arrival in Cinderella's coach, heralds trumpeting the arrival, and formally garbed Minnie and Mickey in attendance) required a valid marriage licence; something neither state currently grant to gay couples. After some inquiries by prospective couples, and some online criticism from AfterElton.com, Disney has announced that the $8,000 wedding package is now available for 'commitment ceremonies'. Disney spokesman Donn Walker said. "This is consistent with our policy of creating a welcoming, respectful and inclusive environment for all of our guests...We are not in the business of making judgments about the lifestyle of our guests. We are in the hospitality business and our parks and resorts are open to everyone."

Sounds Greek to Me

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

This is an interesting article from

Live Science.com.

Mystery of Greek Amphitheater's Amazing Sound Finally Solved
By Tom ChaoLiveScience Staff Writerposted: 05 April 20071:30 pm ET

Cut the chatter! The ancient mystery surrounding the great acoustics of the theater at Epidaurus in Greece has been solved.
The theatre, dating to the 4th century B.C. and arranged in 55 semi-circular rows, remains the great masterwork of Polykleitos the Younger. Audiences of up to an estimated 14,000 have long been able to hear actors and musicians—unamplified—from even the back row of the architectural masterpiece.
How this sonic quality was achieved has been the source of academic and amateur speculation, with some theories suggesting that prevailing winds carried sounds or masks amplified voices.
It's in the seats
Now, researchers at the Georgia Institute of Technology have discovered that the limestone material of the seats provide a filtering effect, suppressing low frequencies of voices, thus minimizing background crowd noise. Further, the rows of limestone seats reflect high-frequencies back towards the audience, enhancing the effect.
Researcher Nico Declercq, a mechanical engineer, initially suspected that the slope of the theater had something to do with the effect.
“When I first tackled this problem, I thought that the effect of the splendid acoustics was due to surface waves climbing the theater with almost no damping,” Declercq said. “While the voices of the performers were being carried, I didn’t anticipate that the low frequencies of speech were also filtered out to some extent.”
However, experiments with ultrasonic waves and numerical models indicated that frequencies up to 500 hertz (cycles per second) were lowered, and frequencies higher than 500 hertz went undiminished, he said.
Acoustic traps
The corrugations on the surface of the seats act as natural acoustic traps. Though this effect would seem to also remove the low frequencies from the actors' voices, listeners actually fill in the missing portion of the audio spectrum through a phenomenon known as virtual pitch. The human brain reconstructs the missing frequencies, producing the virtual pitch phenomenon, as in listening to someone speaking on a telephone with no low end.
The findings are detailed in the April issue of the Journal of the Acoustics Society of America.
Amazingly, the Greek builders of the theater did not themselves understand the principles that led to the exceptional audibility of sound from the stage.
Attempts to recreate the Epidaurus design never quite matched the original. Later seating arrangements featured other materials, such as wood for the benches, an approach which may have ultimately derailed the design duplication effort.

Job Interviews and Synaptic Meltdowns

First the 'big' news. I had a phone interview with the faculty of the University of South Florida theatre department today. I think it went well, but then it is rather difficult to gauge such things over the phone. I answered their questions as best I could, and they did not sound displeased with my responses, so the bottom line is...we'll see. Prithee keep those extremities intersected. And if, by some chance any of the faculty are here visiting my little corner of the intertubes, welcome. :-)

*

On to some weirdness. Song lyrics. I stumbled across a video of Barnes & Barnes' Fish Heads a few minutes ago, and it got me thinking about bizarre song lyrics. I mean, it's really hard to beat 'Roly poly fish heads are never seen drinking cappuccino in Italian restaurants with oriental women...yeah.', but it can be done. Here's just one example that leaps to mind. It's from They Might Be Giants' song Mr. Horrible, and it goes, "Would it be ok with you if we wrote a reminder of things we'd forget to do today otherwise, using a green magic marker, if it's ok, on the back of your head?" Your turn. What are some of the weirdest, most obscure lyrics you can think of. And just to keep things interesting, no John Lennon or Jim Morrison.

*

From the fiery furnace of feline affection department, Starbuck(registered Kitty-o-the-Apocalypse tm) has gone from being an unbearably adorable kitten, to an aloof adolescent, to a house wrecking teenager, and is now becoming a five pound Lummox-O-Luv. Up until a week ago the very thought of sleeping in the same bed with us was unthinkable, but ever since that pic I put up a few posts ago he has chosen to sleep either just above my head, or as in the other night, snuggled right up against me. Cute, right? Sure, except it has grown warm again, and I awoke in the middle of the night to find myself constrained to a 12" strip of bed with a sleeping wife to the right of me, and a c-shaped, fuzzy heating element to the left. The a/c was still set for the cooler nights, and I was stewing in my own juices. I eventually gave up the fight to remain asleep and got up to turn down the air. The cat barely had the decency to wake up.

*

Finally there is a band called Saliva, who's music has always resided in the 'meh' aisle in my mental record store, but they have a new song called Ladies and Gentlemen that, imho, rocks. Check it out. And PIKARESQUE, if you listen to the musical bridge about two thirds through the song, Rap Cat puts in a cameo.

Ok, enough drivel for one night. May the Great Bird of the Galaxy watch over you all.

Peace,

Marius

Loch Ness Monster Explained...Finally

This pic shows what Scottish scientists Michael Gary Scott and Angus MacGyver claim to be the actual Loch Ness Monster. It is a Civil War era submarine, believed to have been built around 1859 with the intention of selling it to the highest bidders across the pond. Unfortunately the next year the Confederate sub The Hunley began sinking Union ships without any help from the Scots, and the sub, lovingly called Wee Cuiteog, or worm, was abandoned and set adrift in the loch. "It is unclear who the builder(s) were, but we have a pretty good idea that it was Laird Seosaidh of Inverness that funded the project." says MacGyver. The two men have been pursuing their sub theory for several years, despite threats of law suits and even bodily harm from the multi-million pound industry that has been built upon the humped back of "Nessie". Their big break came when the boat washed ashore last Thursday. When asked how he felt about his theory being proven, Scott said, "It would have been nice to have been wrong, but at least now we know. And the best part is we get to keep the boat."

The two now plan to move on to the American Midwest, where they hope to prove that Bigfoot is really just an abandoned Algonquin battle yurt.

Oh My God!

Palpatine raps?

Sweet!

If this doesn't make you go 'awwwww' then you need to check yourself into a funeral home.

Marius

It's Finger Crossing Time...Again

The University of South Florida, which is paradoxically in Tampa, called me this afternoon. They want to interview me for the Technical Director position I applied for there a few weeks ago. Please cross whatever extremities you wish, light some candles, sacrifice a newt, or whatever for me. To quote a well known musical, 'Oh, God, I need this job!'

Peace out, y'all.
Marius

The Sacrifice of a Loving Cat

Seeing that I had fallen asleep while reading, Starbuck valiently threw himself upon my book, lest I lose my place. (Mrs. Marius snapped this shot of the men of the house enjoying a lazy Sunday afternoon)(and yes, we are apparantly holding hands...paws...er...whatever)

300...and then some.

Hi Folks, and welcome to The Corner. Sorry about the paucity of posts of late, but the fam and I were in sunny South Florida all week, and I was trying to rest. But, we did get to the movies, and here is what we saw.

300 kicks ass! If you like gladiator movies, or just like seeing a grown man naked, this is the movie for you. There are more six packs in this flick than in a walk-in cooler at a NASCAR marathon. But fret not, oh heterosexual men, there is plenty of female nudity here as well, though some of it is surrounded by such libido-crushing creepiness that your mind virtually has a tug of war with your pig-brain over whether to be turned on, or just grossed out. The movie is based on the graphic novel(we can't call them comic books anymore) by Frank Miller, and it tells the tale of King Leonidas of Sparta taking on the Persian army of King Xerxes at Thermopylae. The catch is that Leonidas has 300 men, and Xerxes has thousands. There is a kind of fuzzy, ill defined sub plot regarding the political machinations that prevent the entire Spartan army from waging war, but what's important is that 300 chiseled, leather speedo clad warriors held off an army for 3 days. The action is non-stop, and the battles are bloody, and believable. There is just enough weirdness thrown in to paint a thin glaze of the supernatural over the events, but not so much that we have to throw our willing suspension of disbelief into over drive. And if you ever wondered what it looks like when an elephant falls over a cliff, this is your film. The battle tactics are pretty solid, although most of Xerxes' warriors have all the prowess of Imperial Stormtroopers, and the CGI is used with a deft, and fairly light touch. All in all it is well worth seeing on the big screen.


Peace out, y'all.
Marius

Selfishness, It's Not Just For Dinner Anymore

Today I drove from Tampa to Wellington, Florida. Along the way I stopped at one of those great monuments to urinary relief and consumer excess: the Turnpike Rest Stop. It was raining, and as usual I was enjoying watching people act as if hydrochloric acid were falling from the sky. I put on my jacket and hat and sallied forth into the downpour, anxious to create a downpour of my own, when I witnessed an act so unbelievably asinine as to set me to thinking. A young, healthy man in a car with Virginia plates parked in the handicapped spot closest the doors, leapt out of his still running car, and ran inside; acting for all the world as if tiny razor blades were falling instead of raindrops. I stopped, making sure that my assumptions were founded, for there were no tags or stickers announcing his right to park there. This is a particular pet peeve of mine. And while visions of tire slashing, or paint-job keying played across the movie screen of my mind, I had an epiphany. RFID's.

Radio Frequency Identification tags are a boon to store security managers, and a bane to privacy advocates, but these innocuous little devices could finally bring down the massive horde of handicapped parking spot invaders. An RFID is a tiny device that, when put close to the proper transciever, emits radio signals containing whatever information is needed. In an ideal world, you could fill your shopping cart with RFID equipped groceries, walk through a special scanner tunnel, and have your amount tallied and deducted from your account without ever having to wait for a check-out person to call for a bag boy to find out how much your jar of Vasline and extra strength Trojans cost. And they can be very tiny. There is even talk of putting them in passports to speed up the customs process. (not a good idea, in my opinion, but that's a story for another day) So here's my proposal. All handicapped parking spaces would be equipped with a mechanism that tags any vehicle that parks there with an RFID that tells the time, date, and location of the parking event. Police officers would routinely scan vehicles to see if they had any of these tags on them. If they did, and they had not the right to use said space, voila! Ticket. Not quite as satisfying as doing major damage to the asshole's car, but justice would be served.

Thank you.

Marius the Semi-Drugged

Sacrifice?

Lovingly swiped from PIKARESQUE.

Sue

Wierd Al strikes again!

This Time I Really, Really, REALLY Mean it.

Kate Blanchette is in talks to play Indy's love interest in the soon to begin filming fourth Indiana Jones film. I'm guessing it will be called Raiders of the Lost Dentures. Or maybe Indiana Jones and the Temple of Viagra. Or Indiana Jones and the Last Hip Replacement.

I bet you all can do better than those weak jokes...or can you?

"Throw me the idol, I'll throw you the truss."

"Male nurse with sponge...very dangerous. You go first."

"Jello. Why'd it have to be Jello?"


Muahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!

...And One More Thing.

Why is it that Easter, the Eed Plebnista (only you really hard core Trek fans will get that one), the holiest of holies in the Christian calendar, has the most garish decorations and accouterments? How do chicks and ducks and geese in hues so horrifically bright and garish as to make the brain squirm of its own accord commemorate one of the most horrible, and wonderful events in all creation? I just got back from Wally World, and the panoply of pastel putrescence is just breath taking. I think the wavelengths reflected off of those plush atrocities have permanently scarred my retinas. It makes me long for a crowd of Emo/Goth kids on their way to a funeral at midnight just to sooth mine eyes.

Ok, now I really, really am done for the day.

Peace out, y'all.

Marius

A Preponderance of Ponderances

Yeah, yeah, I know I said I was done for the day, but I just got back from a 5 or 6 mile bike ride(Home Depot seems a lot closer by car) and something crossed my mind while I was waiting for that runner's high I hear so much about.(I'm inclined to think it feels an awful lot like angina, but I'm just guessing) Anyway, if I might parse from that wholly remarkable book, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy,

"I refuse to prove that I exist," says God, "for proof denies faith, and without faith I am nothing." "But," says Man, "the Babel fish is a dead giveaway isn't it? It could not have evolved by chance. It proves that you exist, and so therefore, by your own arguments, you don't. Q.E.D."
"Oh dear," says God, "I hadn't thought of that," and promptly vanishes in a puff of logic."

My question is this: does proof deny faith? And if so, why? Is it written somewhere that if God were to give unambiguous proof of his existence that man would cease to believe? That seems rather counter intuitive to me. It seems more likely that it is a rationalization by the faithful to make those of us who require a bit more than the words of superstitious nomads who lived 2-6 thousand years ago shut up. I want to believe, and if an angel were to show up here in my living room right now and show me unquestionable evidence that there is a God I'd be the first one in line at the communion plate next Sunday. Now don't get me wrong, I speak not to disprove what anyone else has spoke, yet I am here to speak what I don't know. Any opinions?

Secondly, and lastly for today, can anyone explain why Starbuck, the Kitten of the Apocalypse, rushes into the bathroom every time I get out of the shower meowing and purring as if to say, 'Thank Bast you're ok! I thought I lost you that time!"?

Ok, here endeth the lesson. You are now free to roam about the firmament.

Marius the Puzzled

Good Day, and Welcome to Sunday, eh.

Yea, verily we find ourselves at another Sunday, so what shall we talk about? I'm enjoying a rare bit of solitude this weekend since Mrs. Marius and the COTA have gone down to WPB. I'll be following tomorrow for some much, much needed R&R, with special emphasis on the first R. I need to recharge my batteries, so I won't be doing my usual running around trying to see everyone I know and not getting any rest, but you dear readers will, of course, be the exceptions. Deb, Mayi, Elf, Puddy let me know when would be a good time to get together. I'll be there til Friday. And should there be anyone out there lurking in the wings that I did not mention, pray drop me a line. I want to see everyone, but this job of mine is so draining that I am forcing myself to relax...not something I do easily. And since I'll be staying in Wellington, if anyone can meet me a little farther West that would be greatly appreciated too. :-)

There really isn't much going on in the world that has me outraged right now. I'm enjoying the continued implosion of the Bush administration. It seems that the next person who will soon be getting a 'fall on your sword' memo will be our lovely Field Marshall...um, sorry, Attorney General Alberto Gonzales. I kinda liked the guy when he was confirmed. But then again, compared to John Ashcroft Freddy Kruger would have been a good choice. But Gonzales' constant boot-licking and disregard for the most basic of civil rights has proven that he is more interested in being a Bush toady than in being the ultimate law enforcement officer. I have been trying to capsulize this US Attorney scandal for you, but I must confess the intricacies of it have eluded me. The best I can tell is that, while what was done was not illegal, it was certainly unethical. The President has the right to replace US Attorneys at will, but the mass firing of 8 of them is highly unusual, and smacks of political reprisal rather than performance based removal. Gonzales claims that there was no political angle, but all but two of the attorneys had just received good performance reviews, and there has been growing evidence that they were let go because they were pursuing investigations that the Bush administration did not want to have concluded. And finally, finally people are making Bush's cronies take responsibility for what they say on the record. For the last 7 years the talking heads in Washington have looked at a blue sky, and told us it's red, and expected us to just say 'yes, of course it's red.' You're doing a heck of a job, Gonzie.

As for the Democratic proposal to set hard dates for troop withdrawal, when I hear the conservative pundits and politicos calling it 'defeat' I just want to puke. We have accomplished our objectives over there. We deposed Hussein, and 'liberated' Iraq. The Iraqis are the ones destroying it now, and that should no longer be our concern. From a strategic point of view it is bad policy to advertise the withdrawal date, but there is nothing wrong with setting secret deadlines. I know that there are people who will yell about transparency if that were to occur, but this is war, and wars require some secrets. While things like the goings on in Guantanamo and Abu Graib should be transparent, battle plans need to be kept as secret as possible. As for considering a withdrawal a defeat, if it saves American lives then I can handle defeat. And if conservatives are so ego-deflated that the idea of retreat rankles them so, let's let them go fight. Give every soldier, airman, seaman, and marine a free pass home if they don't mind admitting defeat, and let the 'true warriors' stay. I'm willing to bet that only those who don't have to fight will remain.

I wonder if there is a flak jacket big enough to fit Rush Limbaugh.

Ok, that's enough thinking for now. I'm going to spend the rest of the day killing digital monsters, and defeating super-villains.

Excelsior!!

Marius

Follicles Unite!!

This is a wake-up call to all subdivided hair. Rise up and challenge the blow!!!

Daylight Sucking Time

Ok, I was planning to hop in the Wayback Machine(tm) and kick Ben Franklin in the nads for inflicting us with the annoying Daylight Saving Time crap, but being a slave to accuracy I had to research just when he invented it. It turns out that he mentioned it in a humerous essay in 1784, but it was ignored until 1907 when William Willett suggested it to the British Parliament. Willett proposed advancing 80 minutes in four moves of 20 minutes spread out through the Summer months, but Parliament said no thanks. Then, in 1918 they created British Summer Time, and even though we had cast off most things English by then, we followed suit. So now I am going to laud Guy Fawkes as a failed genius. Maybe if he had succeeded in blowing up Parliament in 1605 I might have been able to sleep a bit later today.

Marius the Tired and Grumpy

Fight Smarter, Not Harder.

It's just crazy enough to work!

Happy Sunday :-)
Marius

Insular Conectivity

I just read an article in Discover magazine in which the author was lamenting the increasingly automated nature of the automobile. He waxed nostalgic about the days when driving a car was something of a challenge, a badge of masculine honor. But as things like power steering, and cruise control increased to the point that some high end cars can even park themselves, he posited that it is a symptom of our society's growing impersonality. The iPod, the portable DVD player, the cell phone, they all serve to cut us off from our fellow humans...in a face to face sense anyway. And I don't argue that point, but in a way I think he is missing the bigger picture. I have never been one to spontaneously visit my neighbors, and I have lost touch with many dear friends over the years because I totally suck at letter writing, but thanks to the cyber world I have managed to keep in touch with folks I would have long ago lost, and have rekindled old friendships via this marvelous medium. I won't deny that, were it an option, I would probably spend most of my life in an underground lair, communicating via holograms and email, but I convey more by those media than in most phone conversations. I like talking less and less as I grow older(ironic given my vocation) but I feel more connected to the world than ever. The Internet is the most revolutionary human achievement since a couple of bicycle repairmen got bored with wheels and though about wings, and if the 'real world' seems to be fading a bit, the 'unreal world' grows more tangible every day.

So what do you think?

Cyber-Marius

Justice, If there is such a thing.

I know I've commented about this before, but now it's a reality. John Evander Couey, the subhuman piece of filth that kidnapped, raped, and buried 9-year-old Jessica Lunsford alive two years ago has been found guilty on all counts. I would have been incensed by this anyway, but as the step-father of a 9-year-old I cannot help but imagine my little girl in that situation. Sure, she drives me crazy on a daily basis, but what this...this, creature(not even an animal would treat another animal this way) did to that girl...

I'm sorry, I know it may seem melodramatic, but I am actually trying to relate to you exactly what my thoughts are right now, and they are filled with pauses while I try to restrain the rage I feel whenever I think of this disgusting act. I don't know if the English language, or any language for that matter, has the right words to describe the depths of abhorrance that this man, and I only use the word in the sense of his species, encompasses. I am an admitted liberal, bordering on Libertarian, but I would gladly make an exception in my general disapproval of capitol punishment in this case. I have read accounts of Medieval excecutions by torture that seem well suited to this wretched waste of DNA. It is only by the most extreme act of will that I don't describe, in exquisite detail, just what I would like to do to him, but suffice it to say that I can think of stuff the Inquisition would have deemed over the top. I don't want a humane execution, with pain killers and last meals. I want this bastard to suffer far more than any human has suffered, and then I want him to suffer some more. I want him to think on the victims of the Third Reich with envy. And when it's all over, I want to be able to resurrect him and do it all over again.

I'm sorry this isn't funny today, but the rage and disgust in me just won't let go. I can only imagine what her family is going through. If prayer is something you do, then please pray for them that they find some peace in all this.

Marius

And The Loser Is...

I was just pondering the replacement of 'and the winner is' with 'and the Oscar goes to'. I can't recall exactly when that happened, but I do recall noticing, and thinking it unnecessarily PC. So I was just letting that thought percolate through my newly awakened synapses when I wondered what it must be like to be the sort of person who gets offended at stupid stuff like that. How malformed an ego must one have to object to an implied slight, for I'm sure the logic, if I might call it that, of the change had to do with the fact that calling one person a winner implies that the other 4 or so are losers. This is the same mentality that has us white folks wondering just what the hell we are supposed to call people of color this year, or if someone in a wheelchair will try to run us down if we don't use the current euphemism for their particular condition. I have no doubt that the vast majority of people who fall into these categories couldn't give two bowel movements about the issue, and that it is a very vocal minority that get all up in arms when Tiger Woods isn't referred to as a Poly-Ancesterous-Golfing-American or some other outrageously non-threatening epithet, but what is it like to go through life offended at every unimportant adjective? Is it overblown self-importance, an underdeveloped sense of self-worth, or are they just plain assholes? I know that I get a bit miffed when someone calls me a Trekkie...everyone should know by now that all rational Trek fans prefer the moniker Trekker, but I don't write letters to TV stations every time that particularly unforgivable misnomer makes its way onto the nightly news.

Anyway, what do you think? Do you know anyone like this? Can you offer any insight into the sad existence of these people who must daily suffer the slings and arrows of words hurled from talking heads that they'll never meet? This is one Follicle-Challenged, Temporally-Advanced, European-American who wants to know.

TTFN, Kiddies.
Marius

Chriiiistiannnns! Come out and plaAAaayaaay!

So what happens when Jesus returns, and rather than smite the unbelievers, he forgives and loves them?

Just askin'.

Marius the Damned

And the Oscar goes to...zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Is it just me, or has this country's obsession with not ruffling the feathers of the ultra-conservative right lead to two of the most boring events in recent memory? The Superbowl was a yawn-fest, and now the Oscars were about as exciting as watching a Bingo tournament on CSPAN. Sure, it was a classy evening, and the stars were all bedecked and beautiful(although I guess Ben Affleck couldn't find a tux), and Ellen Degeneres did a nice job as host. But that word 'nice' just sort of sums up the whole affair. To paraphrase George Carlin, nice is such a flabby word. I was looking forward to Ellen's turn at the podium, and she was pleasant, inoffensive, and...well...nice. She was funny, but not in a 'laugh til it hurts' funny. More like 'quietly grin when she gets Spielberg to take a picture of her with Clint Eastwood for her MySpace page' funny. Admittedly I have seen very few of the nominated films this year, but that's never stopped me from enjoying the show before. This year's show, however, was lacking in any of the over-the-top stunts and political posing we are used to seeing from our American royalty. The most controversial comment all night was when she pointed out that America didn't vote for the woman from Dream Girls on American Idol, but did vote for Al Gore. It was a sedate, refined, dignified, and thoroughly boring night of television. And for the second year in a row they did not do a memorial to the stars who died in the past year. I always look forward to that, not in a ghoulish way, but as a chance to remember those who had worked hard in their lives to entertain us. I guess the stirring up of any sort of real emotion is forbidden these days.

I realize that this is a couple of days late, but around 11ish I could not stay awake any longer, and so recorded the last half-hour of the broadcast, which I only got around to watching last night. Unfortunately the dvr shut off before the end of the show, and it is a testament to my lack of being entertained that contrary to being upset that I had not set the controls properly, I was relieved that I didn't have to watch any more.

So, did Forrest Whittaker win?

Marius

Net Neutrality

If you value not having to pay extra just to view different websites, then you need to watch this, and then pass it along.

Scrote IV: The Return

Last year I ranted over the proponderance of fake testes adorning the trailer hitches of many a pick-up on the roads these days, but bothered though I may be I left it at that...a rant. But Maryland Delegate LeRoy E. Myers Jr. wants to take it farther. He wants to pass legislation that would ban the automotive display of "anything resembling or depicting "anatomically correct" or "less than completely and opaquely covered" human or animal genitals, human buttocks or female breasts." Apparantly one of his constituents was offended by the danglers and made a call. It is quite refreshing to see that despite such pressing issues as Iraq, Global Warming, health care, unemployment, and the heartbreak of psoriosis we have people in the government willing to focus on the truly important and universal.

God bless America!!

Sitting on the Coroner Watching All The Ghouls Go By

Why are a dead crack whore and a washed up mega-stripper news? Why do so-called respected news organizations such as CNN and Fox continue to bombard us with the train wreck that is Anna Nicole Smith, or the comic tragedy that is Brittney Spears? When Chris Farley died, even though I was never a fan, I understood why the nation mourned; he was a talented comic who brought joy to millions. When Robert Downey Jr. couldn't keep his demons at bay I understood the media attention; he is a gifted actor with a loyal following. But what was Anna Nicole Smith's talent? Anyone with a few grand can buy huge knockers. And it's no great feat for an attractive, voluptuous skank to woo and marry an octogenarian. So what about her life was so wonderful that we, as a nation, can't take our sick, sad eyes off of that stainless steel morgue door for thirty seconds? I certainly couldn't care less where they bury her heroin riddled, silicone filled Barbie-bones.

And as for the national pity party for poor little Brit, fuck that! Sure she was hot, but then again so are most of the women you can see for $4 in any mag behind the counter at Apu's Gas-n-Spank. When the musical giants of the late 20th century are counted, I rather doubt Ms. Spears will appear in that list, so who gives a shit if she 'couldn't handle her fame' and had a melt down. I am so sick of celebrities being treated like Faberge eggs when the excesses for which they ultimately become famous catch up to them. I shaved my head years ago, and have enough baggage in my addled pate to keep a squadron of therapists in caviar for years, but since I don't have a cute ass that I'll show off on MTV I have to deal with my issues by myself...which is exactly how it should be. If someone has a true talent, like Phil Hartman or River Phoenix, then let us mourn and sympathize. But when some freakazoid B-lister who is better suited for a carnival midway than Letterman's couch implodes, put it in the crawl at the bottom of the screen and then forget about it. That way I can too.

Grumpily yours,
Marius

The Helmsman Strikes Back

Last week retired NBA star Tim Hardaway got in trouble for a ridiculous on-air rant about how he hates gay people, and how they shouldn't be allowed in the NBA, or the country. He has gotten in a lot of trouble for his comments, and though he apologized for saying them publicly, one prominent member of the gay community has come forth to try to help.

As The Bathroom Purrs

Ok, a quick relation of a surreal occurrence. This morning, around 3am, I awoke to answer the call of nature. It was dark, but all was limned in the faint green of the 'indiglow' type night light, and I expected an uneventful completion of my task. Then something odd pervaded my sleep befuzzed consciousness. Purring. Now, as you know, we share our home with the Two Kitties of the Apocalypse(tm), so a nocturnal feline encounter is not uncommon. But search as I might, and limited as I was by the activity at hand, I could spy no critter. The purring grew louder, and louder, and finally grew loud enough to become directional. Looking up my gaze met the self-satisfied visage of Starbuck happily perched atop the shelves over the commode and watching me from the comfort of the towels. This actually tops last night's surreality, a dream in which Soledad O'Brien moved in to become my second wife(no, I have no idea where that one came from), because it actually happened.

To paraphrase a much overused bumper sticker: weirdness happens.

Have a bizarre week, y'all!

Marius

No Wonder...dammit!

In further Joss Whedon news, he just announced that he will no longer be making a Wonder Woman movie. There go my last hopes that the long awaited film won't suck. Details are very sketchy, but rumors are that Warner Brothers is looking at a WW script from a couple of unknowns.

Sigh.

Anyone seen Ghostrider yet? Opinion?

A Sunday Funny

Click on the strip to enlarge.

A Palette Cleanser

It's always good to heal the dryness of the place.

Warm Fuzzy

What is it in humans that drives us to seek validation? Since I discovered blogs, and video blogs, I have noticed a very disturbing tendency in myself to become elated if a comment I made brings forth a response from the blogger, and conversely to become despondent when another comment goes ignored. I would even get a rosy glow if another commenter made a comment about my comment. Two prime examples were Amanda Congdon and Ze Frank. When I first began watching their blogs I commented fiercely, though rarely with anything new or insightful. Usually they amounted to me standing in a crowd, waving my arms and yelling 'Hey, over here! I agree with you!' Then, on one occasion, I recommended a story to Amanda during her Rocketboom days, and she used it, and even thanked me in the list of topics below the picture. You'd have thought I won a prize or something. But then the next day she used a story from another viewer and actually thanked that one verbally. I was crushed. Why didn't I get any real validation from this person whom I had never met? Fortunately, after years of metaphorical wake-up calls equivalent to a wrecking ball to the grundies, this little tap on the cheek was enough to make me realize how silly I was becoming about this whole thing. Now I still enjoy the video blogs, but my comments are limited to when I can bring something new to the table, and if no one notices it's no big deal.

So what, you might ask. I noticed yesterday that my post about the upcoming Firefly mmorpg generated more responses from you, my dear friends, than any I've done in a long time. And I noticed that I got that same warm fuzzy inside that I used to get from the strangers I had chosen to idolize. But the difference is that you guys matter to me in reality, and not just in some strange little narcissistic corner of my psyche. So I guess what I'm trying to say is thank you for coming by The Corner, and thanks even more for leaving your comments. It makes my day when you do, and in a way that I don't have to feel guilty or neurotic about.

Love all y'all,
Marius

I Wanna Be Jayne!

I wanted to blog this morning, since I've been sick and out of it for a while, but alas nothing inspired. But then, suddenly(as things in print are oft wont to happen) one of the online comics I read dedicated a strip to a soon to be MMORPG based on Firefly. Firefly is something of a phenomenon in the Science Fiction Television world. It was a very short lived series created by Buffy and Angel scribe Joss Whedon and was half Western, 1/4 Starship Troopers, and 1/4 Star Trek. I never saw it when it originally ran, and it only got one season before getting the axe. Then the SciFi Channel reran the series in preparation for the big screen film Serenity. We watched the first episode and were not impressed, and since we already knew the series was doomed we didn't see the need to watch any further. But then several of my friends, and you know who you are, beat me verbally about the head and shoulders for not partaking of this televisory gem. So I was strapped into a recliner, ala Malcolm McDowell in A Clockwork Orange, and forced to watch several episodes of this stellar(hee hee) series. It takes a few eps to grow on you. For me the hardest part was reconciling all the frontier talk with blasters and starships, but once you're hooked, you're hooked. The characters and relationships are somewhat reminiscent of Angel, but once you accept that and forget it the show soars. I can understand, with ever growing disgust, why it got canned. It is all things anathema to demographers and studio execs: intelligent, thought provoking, well scripted, well acted, and thoroughly non-prurient. Fans clamored, to no avail, upon it's death nell, and Whedon managed to get a movie made, but that was, for all intents and purposes, the end of the good ship Serenity. Or was it?
A company called Multiverse has reached an agreement with Fox to turn the show into a massively multiplayer online role playing game in the same vein as World of Warcraft or City of Heroes. They acknowledge that they have a tough road ahead, as Firefly fans are even more rabid and picky than us Trek nerds, but then they only have 14 episodes and one movie to memorize. It should be interesting, although I can find no mention of what Mr. Whedon has to say about it. They hope to release it sometime in 2008.

And now, more coffee.

Adios, Partners!
Marius

Turtle, J'acuse!!!!!

Here's a Giggle for You

See more Dork Tower here.

Super...yawn...bowl XLI

Well, what started with a magnificent bang has ended with a snore. The Bears set a new Superbowl record by running the opening kickoff back for a touchdown, but that was the only real excitement in the game. The Colts played well, and consistently through the game, while the Bears started strong, then slowly dissolved over the next three quarters. And the commercials this year were pretty weak as well. Only the Snickers ad, where two bubbas share an intimate, if uninteded, moment was remotely amusing. Ah well, another football season has come and gone. Time to stop caring about sports again for another year.

Marius the bored.

Art...a deliberate act.

So the next show we are doing at school is called 'Museum', which takes place on the last day of a certain exhibit at an art museum. Interestingly enough I was in this show twenty-something years ago as a young college actor, and now I am going to build it for a lot of young high school actors. To that end, as we did oh those many years ago, I took my most advanced students to visit a local art museum. It was intriguing to me to observe that they had much the same reaction I did at the time to some of the art. To summarize their comments, and to echo the ancient me, 'That's art?! Hell, I could do that!' What was different to me this time, however, was a realization that has eluded me for years. Yes, I could have done some of what is termed 'art', but I didn't. Art has nothing to do with level of difficulty. If it did then museums would be filled with cars and computers and other things that are hard as hell to build or create. Instead art is about the deliberate act of doing something no one else thought of. Sure I could take a suit, sew some plastic fringe on it, and do a performance piece at a used car lot, but I didn't think of that. The Art Guys did. Yes, aesthetics are important in art, as is a subjective desire on the part of the observer to accept what they are seeing as art, but in the great debate over what is, or isn't art, the deliberate act must, in my opinion, be given as much, if not more, importance than aesthetic 'beauty', whatever the hell that might be.

Just an observation.

Blessed be.
Marius

Give These People A Hand

This is a groovy video of the final battle from Star Wars done only with hands. Ya gotta love the Japanese. :-)

I Slack, Therefore I Might Be

Ok, ok, I've been a lazy SOB lately. I'm sorry, dear readers. I could lie and pretend that I was just waiting for the President's State-O-The-Union(tm) speech tonight, but you deserve better than that. The truth is that teaching high school is draining my will to live, let alone blog. While I have a few...very few...students whom I love dearly and hope to follow their careers as long as possible, the vast majority of them are spoiled, rude, undiciplined, vulgar little brats. And this is a magnet school for the arts, for cripes sake! I spend more time telling them to STFU each day than I do teaching. And when I'm not fed up with the kids, the administration is telling me that we have to get more kids in if we're to keep our jobs! I have twenty-five kids in my Stagecraft 1 class, and they are constantly bitching that I don't let them into the shop enough, yet they can't pay attention for more than 5 minutes(and I'm being very generous here) to any sort of lecture on how to keep from lopping off limbs and digits. Oh, sure, they love the day I tell them about my little hand-holding incident with a table saw, but then they also laughed at a news report about some guy who killed and ate his wife. I am seriously considering looking into a nice, cushy 9-5 civil service gig and hanging up the whole Theatre thing once and for all. The idea of dealing with nothing more annoying than a file cabinet is very appealing to me right now. I don't even find the idea of having to buy more than two ties repugnant at this time, and that scares the bejeezus out of me.

So, in a nutshell the above rant is why I've been a bit silent. But, I will do my best to post more often, and be more entertaining. If I can manage to stay awake long enough, I'm sure I'll get plenty of material from the Shrub Prince's tap dance tonight.

Love and kisses,
Marius

Why Can't Marius Work...

Good News/Bad News

Ah, the holidays. Time of togetherness, joy, and enough cash and gift cards to get this device a new brain...well, part of one anyway. Let me explain...no, there is too much. Let me sum up. Last year about this time the old gang, henceforth refered to as the Ubers, gathered in an online city called Paragon, each donning the appearance of a superhero, and ran/flew about doing good and generally rekindling long lost friendships. It was a glorious, halcyon time only occasionally punctuated by the off stage cries of "Jesus, Honey! Are you playing that damned game again?!" All was grand, made all the grander by the generosity of the Ubers in getting my computer the needed graphics card to allow me to join in. Then, tragedy struck. The new card was...dum dum DUM!!! Defective. Then other brain problems, probably unrelated, rendered my computer less than super. So finally after a reformat(not that easy on XP, dammit!) and a new card, I'm back in the game. Whee!!!!!

In national news, the new Iraqi government went ahead and said 'blow me' once again to their beloved 'liberators' and executed two of Saddam Hussein's henchmen. Awad Hamed al-Bandar, who was the head of Saddam's Revolutionary court, and Barzan Ibrahim, Saddam's half brother and f0rmer security forces chief were hanged at 3am on Monday, and in a grand demonstration of the kind of compassionate, enlightened government our 3000 dead service people fought so hard to put in place, Ibrahim's head was torn off during the hanging. Isn't that sweet? Here in the states lawyers scream 'inhumane' when a convicted serial killer might have had a bit of discomfort during his lethal injection, but our armed forces are fighting and dying for a 'government' that still uses a gallows for its 'justice'. The Iraqis assure us that the video of this execution won't find its way to YouTube, but they did show it to reporters just to verify that Ibrahim's decapitation was an accident! What kind of Bizarro world has this become? That space ark idea is looking better and better every day.

Ok, time for work. Peace out, y'all!!

Marius

And Crawling...On the Planet's Face...

Greetings, Fellow Insects. Let's see what's out there today, shall we?

Firstly, Day of the Lepus!! An elderly German man, Karl Szmolinsky, has come up with a unique solution to the North Korean hunger problem: giant rabbits. He has been breeding German Gray Giant rabbits for years, each of which can reach more than 15 pounds, and figured that one rabbit could feed 8 people. Normally he charges 200-250 Euros a bunny, but since hunger is so rampant in North Korea he is only charging them 80 Euros. He has already sent 12 of the fluffy leviathans to NK, and will be going there himself to help them set up a breeding program. You can read the full story here, and even see some pics of these critters. And before you start shouting 'shenanigans!' I checked it out on Snopes.com, and these bunnies are real.

On the geek front, Star Trek XI is moving along with producer J.J. Abrams saying that the first draft of the script is complete, and is now moving into the editing process. He is staying very close-lipped about the plot, although rumors have been flying that it will deal with the first mission that Kirk and Spock share. Sayeth the Lost exec: ''On the one hand, for people who love Star Trek, the fix that they will get will be really satisfying. For people who've never seen it or know it vaguely, I think they will enjoy it equally, because the movie does not require you to know anything about Star Trek. I would actually prefer [that] people don't know the series, because I feel like they will come to it with an open mind.'' I'm actually hoping that the rumors aren't true. I have tried to watch Star Trek: The New Voyages , which is a remarkably well done online recreation of the original series, but it is set on the original Enterprise with different people playing Kirk, Spock, McCoy, Scotty, etc. and I just can't deal with it. I will try to keep an open mind, but I really don't know how I might deal with different actors playing Kirk and Spock. I know that there are precedents for such things, such as Superman, Batman, and James Bond, but these characters were all created before any actor portrayed them. No matter what we might think about Shatner or Nimoy off screen, they are Kirk and Spock. The idiosyncratic quirks of each character which were distinctive to both actors have become the defining characteristics of the characters. I fear that any attempt by other actors to mimic those quirks will merely seem comical. But, as I've said many times before, mediocre Trek is better than no Trek, so we'll see. Opinions?

In local news, Mrs. Marius is now working at the same high school as I, so for the first time in our marriage we are getting up, going to work, and going to bed at the same times. It is kinda weird, but nice at the same time. It also means that, for the first time, my time off is hers as well. We had hoped to turn that into a trip to Gulf Wars this year, but our Spring Break is the week after. So we are now looking into driving to Connecticut to visit my family up there, most of whom have yet to meet my lovely spouse. And, as my Grandparents pointed out numerous times during our Christmas phone conversations, they ain't getting any younger. We'll also be going to see my brother in his new South Carolina digs, and hopefully making a stop in Washington D.C. which is always interesting. And what trip all the way up I-95 is complete without visiting that most egregious example of stereotypical touristiness(look that one up, Colbert) South Of The Border. Pedro, here we come!

Ok, that's enough prattle for one day. May your pleasures be many, your troubles be few. Good night, everybody!! (extra credit for identifying the source of that farewell)

Marius

Show Your ID Card To The Border Guard Part I

"Everybody knows that the world is full of stupid people..."

So I crashed at 7:00 last night, which is why it's now 3:42am and I'm blogging. I guess I was just a tiny bit tired, although I would rather still be asleep right now. But, be that as it may, let's get bloggin'!!

I've been lazily surfing for the last hour or so, and found myself looking for used laptops, since Mrs. M is taking a writing course and would like one just to use as a word processor, and maybe a few games of Minesweeper, so it need not be anything fancy or powerful. I started with Craigslist.com, then looked for local used computer stores, and finally ended up on eBay. I found one seller who had a large selection of refurbished laptops, and a very complete warranty program, although their ad states quite clearly that they cannot warranty batteries, since most of them are several years old. I think that's more than fair when you are getting a decent laptop for less than $300. A few years ago I got burned by a bogus seller on eBay, so I now check the feedback listings as a matter of course. (if you've never eBayed, sellers and buyers leave feedback for each other rating the transaction. it can either be positive, negative, or neutral) This seller had 99% positive feedback, but had 7 negative comments left in the last month. So I checked to see what the nature of the complaints were, and all of them were people bitching that the batteries didn't work...well, and one idiot who complained that the DVD drive didn't work, and then was told that he had bought a computer that only had a CD drive. Now I know that a couple of you out there have to deal with The Public on a regular basis, and I just want to give you a huge, if insubstantial, hug. I keep thinking that there has got to be a way to get all of these pinheads to walk into wood chippers or something and save us from their stupidity. I really want to build a huge space ark, gather up the twenty or thirty smart people left on this rock, and set course for Alpha Centauri. Who's up for the ride?

Ok, I'm going to try to sleep now.

Marius


Addendum:
I had made reference to the famous tale of the former model who put contraceptive jelly on toast, ate it, and then sued when she got pregnant, but something told me to check more fully into that particular anecdote. Alas, t'was a Weekly World News article that somehow crawled into the mainstream media a few years ago, and is completely false.

"...I've got the pistols, so I get the pesos. And that seems fair!"

One Helpful Kitty

Artemis is exhausted after helping us clean the bookshelf.